When ABC’s ‘The Golden Bachelor‘ premiered in 2023, offering a new spin on the cult-hit show fans love to love, not only did it add a whole new audience demo to the franchise’s loyal fans, it elevated the whole brand! As reported in multiple news and media outlets, the show, which featured 72 year-old Gerry Turner looking for a partner for this next phase of his life, delivered the franchise’s highest ratings in years! As the Guardian reported, its September premiere reached a combined 13.9 million viewers and set a streaming record as ABC’s most-watched episode of an unscripted series ever on Hulu.
“So rare is the portrayal of sexuality or physical intimacy over the age of 60 on the screen,” wrote the Guardian’s Adrian Horton.
If anything, ‘The Golden Bachelor’ has shown us that there is an appetite to see more narratives around love, partnership and dating that are not exclusive to younger generations. And if there is one couple who understands this on a personal as well as professional level, it is nationally recognized relationship therapists Dr. Gloria Horsley (age 84) and Dr. Frank Powers (age 82). Together, they are know as the Golden Dating Doctors for their expertise on dating in your senior years, which they are now sharing in their new book ‘Open To Love: The Secrets Of Senior Dating‘, available now on Amazon.
With the zeitgeist shining a spotlight on senior relationships, ‘Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating’ shares Gloria and Frank’s personal and professional stories of love and romance in the golden years, as well as provides tips and tricks on how seniors can face their fears and thrive in the world of dating (including online dating).
So how did Gloria and Frank find love in their senior years and navigate this landscape they have become experts in? Their love story is unique and altogether heartwarming! Two years ago, Gloria and Frank met on SilverSingles, a dating website for seniors, which they have now become spokespeople for. They were both open to finding love again, following the passing of Gloria’s husband of 60 years and Frank’s divorce.
Online dating was new to Gloria, while Frank had used the service off-and-on throughout the years. Frank said his heart skipped a beat when he saw Gloria’s profile, and Gloria said she was drawn to Frank’s profile because he was a therapist like her and enjoyed her favorite pastimes of golf and pickleball. Since their very first date, they’ve been inseparable and decided to share the secrets to finding love with other seniors through their new book.
In addition to the work they do as a couple, Gloria is the co-founder of the Open to Hope foundation, which helps people find hope after the loss of a loved one. The pair have been co-hosting special episodes of the “Open to Hope” podcast, where they have been discussing senior relationships in addition to tips and tricks to finding love and hope after loss.
We were SO excited for the opportunity to speak with Gloria and Frank about their personal journey, and why they love helping other seniors find love, hope and community in the golden years of their lives!
Before we dive into your book and expertise, can you first tell us how you both met and fell in love?
GLORIA: Following the passing of my husband of 60 years, I was open to finding love again. I began dating someone, but after a failed dating experience, I decided to write an advice book for widows. Knowing that my ex-boyfriend had some success with online dating, I decided that a chapter of the book would be dedicated to this subject. I googled “senior dating” and SilverSingles popped up on the screen. I clicked on the link, inputted my credit card info, filled out my profile, and I was on my way!
Frank was the second person I met through SilverSingles, and I was excited because he was a psychologist like me, as well as an artist. His bio also indicated that he liked to play pickleball, tennis and a bit of golf. We texted online and then agreed to meet in person in Scottsdale, where he lives, while I was visiting my sister. When I first met Frank, it was amazing! We met for drink and then had dinner. We were immediately smitten with one another, and we’ve been together ever since. I am happy to say that Frank and I have weathered the storm and have been together for two years now. Magic can happen when you’re open to love!
FRANK: My story begins with a history different from Gloria’s. I have been married several times and have had a few long-term relationships. For 17 years, I was married to another psychologist whom I shared a successful psychology practice with and helped raise her twin daughters all the way through college and law school.
After we divorced, I joined SilverSingles in an attempt to find a new relationship. A few times, I dated women that I thought were keepers, only to find out that they were “almost relationships” and not the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I was getting ready to retire from my practice at 79 years old after a good run at a profession that I loved. Although I was feeling lonely and discouraged in my personal life, I wanted to give dating one last shot to see if I could find a lasting love.
I renewed an old membership with SilverSingles and updated my profile. After flipping through some pictures and profiles, I came across Gloria. Her profile really stood out to me, and my heart skipped a beat. After communicating via text, we eventually decided to meet up at Grassroots Kitchen & Tap in Scottsdale. Although her profile looked great, I hoped that she would live up to it in person. Then I met her, and I realized that she exceeded it! We have been together for two years and needless to say, we are both very grateful to the online world for helping us find our happy ending.
What previous relationship experiences were you coming from, and what were you intentionally conscious of doing differently in this one?
GLORIA: After the loss of my husband, I broke ALL of the dating rules I preached to my clients in my 40 years as a family and marriage therapist. My cardinal rule was “don’t make any big decisions for a year after a loss or divorce.” Within five months of my husband’s death, I sold my house and was already in a new relationship! A year later, I met the second love of my life, Frank. I made some rookie mistakes while getting back into the dating scene, but Frank was worth breaking all the rules for.
FRANK: My own journey with dating stems from the aftermath of my divorce, a period of profound loss as I not only ended my marriage but also dissolved my professional partnership. My ex-wife was my business partner in a private psychology practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. As I grappled with the prospect of rebuilding my life post-divorce, the members of my men’s spiritual support group provided invaluable encouragement. Despite the devastation, they reassured me that love and companionship were still within reach, sharing their own success stories of finding love online through dating apps. They pledged to support me when I was ready to take that leap once again, offering guidance and camaraderie along the way.
It took over a year before I felt prepared to re-enter the dating scene, but their unwavering support during that time infused me with hope. Their belief that I deserved happiness and companionship, even after the pain of divorce, proved instrumental in my healing journey. Now, as a counselor, I draw upon this experience to advocate for the importance of seeking support, whether or not one is conscious of the need. I encourage others to embrace the concept of dating buddies, recognizing the profound impact that companionship and encouragement can have on the journey to finding love anew.
Tell us about your new book ‘Open To Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating’. How did this book come about, and what are the main messages you want to share with readers?
GLORIA: Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating came about after a failed dating experience. I had the urge to write a dating advice book for widows and decided to write a chapter about online dating. After meeting Frank, I knew it made sense to bring him into the fold to share our experiences from both the male and female perspectives.
The main message that I want to share with readers is to not give up on love and remember that you are only looking for “one” person. Frank and I believe there is someone out there for everyone.
We have to break this down by gender because cultural perceptions about the “acceptability” of senior dating is definitely different based on gender. First let’s talk about senior men – what are some of the stereotypes or cultural norms we commonly hear about men and why do they exist?
FRANK: Many senior men are culturally wounded. For many years, I have worked with this segment of the community and have a great respect for the women of this same generation. Common stereotypes have us believing that men are more competitive and women are more cooperative.
I have tried to help men appreciate the fact that women are their equals and to see competition and cooperation as equal values. Men of my era were taught to value competition over cooperation and have paid the price. If we do not cooperate as well as compete, we miss one half of the equation for a happy and successful life.
For older women, why do you think there is such a reluctance and even revulsion in some cases for society to accept that a senior woman might still enjoy sex, pleasure and seek companionship?
GLORIA: I think that it is just a matter of old-fashioned thinking. My grandfather died in 1938 when my grandmother was only 55. While I was growing up, no one ever talked about her dating or having a relationship. Back then, women had to look and play a specific part. They would stay home with the children, wash and iron clothes all day and make sure dinner was made for their family. If women got married for a second time, it would often be out of convenience.
Fast forward, my mother lost her husband after 57 years of marriage right on the edge of the women’s liberation movement. A year later, she read an obituary for her ex-boyfriend’s wife in the newspaper, and she immediately reached out to him. They were together for three years before she passed away.
Now, my three daughters are seeing their mother in a successful relationship with someone she met on a dating website. Today’s women are healthier, more independent, and living longer than past generations. We stand on the shoulders of women who came before us, our pioneering mothers and grandmothers.
Can you share more about the Open to Hope Foundation and accompanying podcast? What is your mission behind it and how does open dialog about love after loss help people?
GLORIA: Open to Hope is a family foundation that my late husband Phil and I started in honor of our late 17-year-old son, Scott. Our mission is to give people hope after loss and to provide an online forum to help them cope with their pain, heal their grief and invest in their future.
The legacy is now carried on by myself and my three daughters Heidi, Rebecca and Heather. We are proud to say that we are the largest online grief recovery site today, featuring thousands of articles written by over 400 authors, 280 public access television series episodes and over 500 YouTube videos.
Heidi and I, with the support of Rebecca and Heather, also host the “Open to Hope” podcast, where we interview guests with inspiring stories about grief recovery. Earlier this year, Frank and I hosted episodes on the podcast about finding love after loss as well as the love story unfolding on “The Golden Bachelor.” We even interviewed a few of the ladies featured on the show!
What are some key pieces of advice you would give to other seniors who might be experiencing loss, divorce or looking for companionship in their senior years but are intimidated by the thought?
GLORIA: The very fact that you are reading this article means that you are open to hope. Where there is hope there is love. Love is hope. Take a risk on love and have some fun. Even if you don’t find that special person the first time, you can find some new friends and interests.
FRANK: Divorce is usually looked at differently than losing a spouse. There is the element of some kind of failure associated with most divorce situations and the presumption that one or both people have some problem in keeping a relationship together. Sometimes people just grow apart over time, and the reasons the relationship worked in the earlier stages may not still work later down the road. I hope that this judgment will not keep people from taking a chance again and seeking a new relationship after divorce. Taking a chance on love again is a positive and courageous act.
If you could go back in time and give your younger selves a message about love, dating and getting older, what would it be?
GLORIA: Hey, I would be saying, “you go girl!”
FRANK: And I’d be saying, “you go guy!”
How do you hope societal and cultural attitudes around senior dating will continue to shift, impacted by your work especially?
GLORIA & FRANK: We hope attitudes around senior dating will continue to change for the positive as more and more people talk openly about their relationships and success stories. Seeing two 80-year-olds together, like us, hopefully gives everyone out there the hope that love can be found at any age. Stay Open to Hope!
For more information and tips on dating and finding the next love of your life, get a copy of Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Frank Powers’ book, Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating, which is now available on Amazon. SilverSingles members can receive a 20% discount off of our book by entering the code 20OPENTOLOVE at checkout on Amazon. The book features their SilverSingles love story as well as tips and tricks on how those ages 60+ can not only survive but thrive in the world of dating. Connect with Gloria and Frank by visiting their website, and follow the Golden Dating Doctors on Instagram, Facebook, and subscribe to their Youtube Channel.
