By Alexandra Beaumont
As the leader of Once dating app, I’ve dedicated my career to revolutionizing the dating landscape and empowering people to find meaningful connections. But beyond my role in the tech industry, I’m also just a woman who understands the complexities and challenges of modern dating firsthand.
Back when I was growing up, dating online was reserved strictly for weird people and those looking for an international relationship. The internet was younger in general, so many were apprehensive about sharing their personal data and talking to strangers online.
Fast forward to 2024, and we see hundreds of millions of people detailing and posting every single thing they do on social media, and digital dating is booming as well. Pretty much all of my friends met someone online at least once, and several of them found their true love like that.
The landscape has really changed, yet it’s still common to view dating on the web and dating apps specifically as something tricky. As an online dating enthusiast myself, I disagree with this notion, and here’s why.
Access to supportive communities
I can only speak for Once, but we work really hard to create a safe space where people would feel comfortable looking for their perfect matches, chatting, falling in love, and agreeing to meet in real life. As you connect with more people online, you’re obviously not going to meet and date every single one of them, but by being exposed to this seemingly endless pool of opportunities, you end up finding wonderful people who turn into friends or become a valuable part of your network.
I’ve chatted with people who’ve given me great career advice, referred me to their acquaintances who share similar passions to mine, and simply made me smile with their thoughtful chats.
Broadening the horizons
The huge benefit of online dating is that it is limitless. You can go online and meet someone from the opposite side of the world. And even if they’re from your city, you are still exposed to the widest demographic. Too often, in my opinion, we get stuck in our bubbles, and we’re missing out on so much! By matching with and dating people who have different values, thoughts, and backgrounds, we can learn a lot about the world and ourselves too.
Making sure online dating is a positive experience
Just like anyone who’s ever been on dating websites and apps, I’ve come across a fair share of individuals who I’d rather never cross paths with. Sometimes it didn’t bother me, but sometimes it creeped me out or simply made me sad.
Over the years, I’ve come up with a few principles that help users have a positive experience on a dating app and take care of their mental health:
- Block the weird ones right away. If you’re getting odd vibes from someone – just block or unmatch them. You don’t owe anything to anyone.
- Set boundaries and don’t be afraid to share them. Let’s say you’re looking for casual dating or one-night stands. In that case, your boundaries could be no exclusivity or no serious relationships. Put that in your bio or share it with people you match within the chat.
- Be selective but not overly so. When I’ve only started using online dating, I would maybe match and chat with one person a week. Either I was too worried about what might come out of it, or I was too strict with my criteria. At some point, I realized that I needed to let go a bit, and that’s when I started matching with great people.
- Don’t fall into the comparison rabbit hole. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done, but I did it, and so can you! Whenever I have the urge to compare myself to other users or compare users to people I’ve already matched with, I put the phone away and focus on something else.
Dating apps can definitely be tough, and if you’re not taking rejection and ghosting well, they can add a lot of stress to your life. At the same time, online dating is helping so many people find their soul mates and build healthy relationships, that it’s always worth a try.
At Once, we hear you, we know the struggles not only from our users, but from our own experience, and do what we can to make dating in our product mindful and deep. As a woman, experienced in online dating, I can attest that dating apps can be great, especially if you know why you’re using them and follow the simple rules I talked about today.
Good luck! I’m sure your perfect match is out there, waiting to be discovered by you.
Alexandra is the CEO of Once, a leading player in the online dating scene, renowned for its commitment to mindful connections. At the age of most dating app users, Alexandra experienced the highs and lows of navigating relationships in today’s world. Thanks to this personal insight, she became committed to promoting mental health and well-being in the realm of dating. Today, Once boasts a 15 million user base across countries like the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, France, and Australia. It offers a refreshing alternative to traditional dating apps with its signature methodical matchmaking system that provides users with one carefully chosen match per day, emphasizing quality over quantity. You can follow Once App on Instagram, and see more of Alexandra’s Mindful Dating Tips on Medium.
