My Dad Cut Me Out Of His Will For Dating A Black Guy

I grew up in a wonderful and loving home in Southern California. I had an older brother and sister 12 and 15 years my senior respectively, parents who were happy together, and my aunt and cousins lived one street over. I had a lot of attention growing up being the baby and all, but my main source of affection came from my Dad. My mom began studying for her Bachelor’s degree when I was 2 so I spent most of my free time watching WWF and eating Doritos with my Dad for nearly a decade.

There are a lot of “Daddy’s Girls” out there, but I am not one of them. To define our relationship like that would misconstrue it; we were simpatico. Our father-daughter relationship was more like a typical father-son relationship. My mom hated seafood so we would often go get fish together and make fun of people at work, school, etc. My dad is tremendously funny and a phenomenal story teller. I think I always had a high bar when it came to dating because my dad really had it all; he was tall, dark, and handsome, educated, successful, ethical, funny, athletic, and handy. He was the standard.

I was an awkward and creative kid. I wore the same pair of vans tennis shoes to school for 5 years straight, had long un-brushed hair, and wore oversized sweatshirts and jean shorts to school. I was chubby. I had braces. Name some nerdy quality and I probably had it. I was naturally a very inclusive person. I’d say it was bad experiences throughout school which probably made me much more accepting. I was also a dancer and heavily involved in the performing arts which attracts a wide variety of characters. I always made sure everyone felt welcome and included.

Because I wasn’t popular and because I was picky, I didn’t go on a single date until I was almost 20 years old. He was a tall, blonde, surfer that ended up moving to San Diego for college and that was the end of that. My dad wasn’t a fan, but I knew he wasn’t going to truly like anyone anyway as no one would ever be good enough for me in his mind. My next boyfriend came about 2 years later. He was Italian, passionate, and handsome with dark features. We had a great run together, but in the end saw our futures differently and went our separate ways. I’m sure my dad didn’t think he was good enough either.

Ashley Jones and Dad

So here I was, 28 years old, and I had had 2 boyfriends and been on dates with a handful of others. I wasn’t sure that a relationship, family, etc. was ever going to be in the cards for me as it seemed like it was working out for everyone else except me. I’ll never forget the day I was walking to my car at work and spotted a tall, dark, and handsome guy walking towards me dressed in all black. He looked like a total babe from afar. As he got closer, I realized he was a former college classmate and coworker that I had known casually for years; Aaron. I was shocked. How did I not notice he was hot before? Long story short, we began talking, hanging out, dating, dating exclusively, and after a pretty significant period of time, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes!

I was excited about this guy. I felt like he ‘got me’. He was on my level: we owned our own homes and cars, were hard working, had good jobs, and were involved in the community. It felt like a fit and I was pleasantly surprised when he invited me to spend his birthday weekend with him and his family in Palm Springs. My palms were sweating the entire time I was packing, but at the end of the weekend I kept thinking “these people are way too freaking cool”. His dad was a talker and a story teller. His mom didn’t look a day over 45 (she was 60) and was super warm and welcoming. I felt so lucky.

My parents had retired to Las Vegas a year or so earlier and were expected to come home for our annual Christmas Eve celebration. I was nervous and excited to bring Aaron over to meet my family. They had met him before through some work functions and he had attended one of my dance performances earlier that year, but this was long ago, and now we were an item. I called my Dad in early to December to break the news- I was bringing a guy home for the holidays. As I told him about Aaron and I, the phone was silent; a pause on the other end of the line, “Is that that black kid?” Um yes, I said awkwardly.

My dad lost it.

He told me that was not acceptable to him, he was disappointed in me, and there was no way I was bringing Aaron over. Click. I was beyond hurt and surprised. I spoke to my mom the next day and she said my dad had pretty much gone off the deep end and I needed to let him cool down. A week later my dad sent me a text saying he was opting out of my life. I was not to call him anymore, I had 2 weeks to get all of my items out of our family home, he had removed me from his will, and Christmas was cancelled. I instantly began crying at my desk at work.

What was I supposed to do? Here I was in an interracial relationship living naively (I guess) to the world and even my own family. I clearly missed something. My dad was always my number one support. I thought he would trust my judgment and know that since I’ve only dated a handful of people that this person was special to me and would make the effort. Maybe this had to do with his North Carolina upbringing, his time spent in the Marines, or something in his life pre-Ashley? My dad wasn’t one of those crazy racist confederate flag people, right? Aside from the occasional comment on the freeway my dad never said anything about race. He never talked poorly of others. He always encouraged me to make my own decisions. His favorite neighbor was black. His best friend was black. My mom is Hispanic. My brother married a girl who has a green card. It didn’t make sense!

As the holidays approached, I wasn’t sure what to do. Do I tell Aaron? Do I hurt his feelings? Ruin his holidays? Do I lie? What is the right thing to do? I thought it best to not deal with this all in real time in hopes that my Dad would come to his senses. My aunt, however, told me both Aaron and I were welcome over for Christmas so I jumped at the opportunity. I explained that my parents weren’t coming to California for Christmas because our family dog needed emergency eye surgery. This was true and may have delayed their visit, but not the real reason for their absence. When I told Aaron this, he offered to drive out to Vegas with me at some point during our holiday break to go see them. This only made me feel worse and as the holidays grew to a close, I felt incredibly depressed despite a pleasant experience at my Aunt’s.

I’m a deceivingly outgoing introvert, but it was noticeable that I became withdrawn. I had no appetite, no interest in going out, being with friends, and definitely neglected my boyfriend in pretty much every possible way. I was emotionally drained and therefore emotionally unavailable and I think it became obvious I wasn’t being honest. My Dad’s birthday was in January so I decided to reach out and try to get a conversation going, even if it was awkward. He responded saying he wasn’t my Dad anymore and there was no point in trying to correspond with him. Clearly we were not making progress. I had no more options. I had no more time. I had to break the hurtful news to Aaron.

I cried and cried and cried ahead of time both by myself and with friends hoping to ensure that I wouldn’t have a complete meltdown in front of Aaron. My legs were shaking under the table and my teeth were chattering as I explained everything. All I can say is that I got through it only by the grace of God and I have no recollection of my words. There was a pause, followed by “I wish you wouldn’t have told me that so I would still think the world is a cool place”. More awkward silence, lack of eye contact, blank face. He had every right to be sad, angry, pissed off, frustrated, or just instantly “over it”. The conversation quickly fizzled and I walked away knowing my pain was now his too and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

I left Aaron alone for a while both because I wasn’t sure what else to say and because if it were me, I would have wanted time and space. About two weeks later I asked him to come over and talk. After a few hours of intense conversation he ultimately decided that this relationship was not for him. He had real questions; What kind of support will we have? What would people think of our kids? What is everyone else thinking when they see us walking down the street? How does he not feel like the personification of why my Dad is not around? Though I was definitely willing to fight for him, I couldn’t pretend to understand what it’s like to be black or how he was interpreting any of this news. There was nothing I could do. Aaron had now opted out of my life too.

News reached my Dad that Aaron and I had broken up, and on the eve of my 29th birthday my Dad wrote me a lengthy email attempting to mend our relationship. The email explained his feelings about black people as far as romantic relationships go and the culture differences from our own. He shared some of his negative experiences with African-Americans and how they treated women in the Marines and what he felt the view of white women dating black men was. The email contained conditions for us working things out beginning with “you have to agree not to engage in this kind of behavior again” meaning that I would have to agree not to date black guys.

Ashley Jones Dancer

Your parents are supposed to be the only people you can count on to love you unconditionally. And yet here he was, proposing ridiculous conditions in order for us to even be in the same room together. The truth was that our relationship would never be the same so I thought it pointless to agree to live with racism, rules, and unhappiness just so that we could all spend Christmas together. The email felt more like a heartless business proposition. I politely responded saying that I appreciated the explanation, but that these were not terms and conditions I was willing to live by.

All of the key players in my life had very different reactions to me having a black boyfriend. My siblings were very torn. My sister pulled away from me in a big way after this incident fearing also being exiled by my father. My brother stepped up and tried to be my pseudo Dad by doing things like fixing my broken faucet and expressing his discontent being the executor of the will now that my name was removed.

My mom has been in the middle the entire time. I think she feels like my Dad’s intent was to protect me from a bad situation, but also acknowledged that Aaron was a good guy and I was an adult capable of making my own decisions. My good friends stood by me 100%. They were surprised by both my Dad and Aaron’s reaction. The reactions of my black friends and coworkers were the most interesting. Some shrugged it off as being a typical reaction and just part of the everyday racism they experience as a people. Others said Aaron and I should have known what we were getting into. But across the board, there seemed to be a shocking lack of surprise making me realize in the weeks following that racism is alive and well.

We may not have drinking fountains labeled black and white anymore, but all we have done is remove the label. We don’t talk about it. We don’t teach it. But there are black neighborhoods and white neighborhoods, black colleges and white colleges, churches, restaurants, clubs, etc. Spots where the black people go and the white people don’t. It’s unspoken, but everybody knows. Well, everyone except my naïve self apparently.

How do companies foster diversity and inclusion when half the people working for them really don’t believe in it? The answer is they don’t. It is all just a façade of appearing progressive and ethical which is almost worse than blatantly advertising the fact that we don’t want a mixed community. I have received the wake up call of a lifetime and I am ready to go back to sleep- except I can’t. I now have no choice but to be aware of the racial lines that divide me from others. It would be irresponsible to not share my Dad’s view with the next black person I may choose to date.  I am a white girl and I am experiencing racism in its ugliest form. Who would have thought?

It is now 6 months later and not much has changed. My Dad has chosen to remain strong and silent and maintains that we can’t have a relationship unless it is under the conditions he outlined in his email. I have read many articles about parents and racism and shockingly the majority of people are living their lives for their parents and have ended relationships due to their parent’s disapproval. To say I haven’t spent a significant amount of time following Dad’s road map would be a lie, but by now I’ve realized that I can’t make everyone happy and that I am the only one who controls my happiness.

It is my decision, as an adult, to remain happy and not compensate my ethics and morals for someone who refused to even give someone important to me a chance. Many people will tell you that in life there is nothing more important than family. But you have a responsibility to ensure that your family is healthy for you. Dr. Phil often says “sometimes you have to give yourself the love and care you WISHED you got from others.” Amen.

Recent racially charged media such as the axed Cheerios commercial and the Trayvon Martin case reopen my wounded heart every now and then. The whole situation makes me sad for myself, my family, Aaron, his family, my community, and on and on. However, I remain hopeful that I will make progress in all of these relationships over time. I know that Martin Luther King had a dream, but unfortunately we don’t see the content of one’s character with our eyes. So instead of dreaming of a place where we all live free of judgment, I pray for acceptance. I promised myself that no matter what my future children do in life or whatever path they go down be it wrong, dangerous, or unwise, that I will ACCEPT them and I think it is possible to accept the choices other people make without agreeing with them.

They say great pain makes great art. Inspired by the somewhat recent events in my life, I created a 3 Act abridged ballet set to music from Kanye West’s “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” album. The piece addresses the stages of my complicated relationship, how race held Aaron and I back initially, how it divided us in the end, and the racial divide in all of our daily lives. I am nervous and excited to share this work with the public, but must say it has been therapeutic. My “Ballet Kanye” debuts at LA Unbound’s November 9th performance at the El Portal Theatre in North Hollywood and will surely cause a stir amongst friends and family.

At the peak of all the drama, a close friend sent me the sermon below and I have clung tightly to it ever since. I hope that I inspire people to live an open and honest life regardless of the opinions of others (even the ones close to them) and to shed light on the lack of progress we’ve made as a society in terms of race. For now, I just keep running my race.

RUN YOUR RACE! In life, people will try to pressure you to become what they want you to be. But don’t let the criticism or peer pressure of others keep you from becoming all that God has called you to be. You simply need to run your race to the best of your abilities and let God bring you to the finish line. The goals He has placed in front of you are too important to let others lead you away from them. Don’t worry about what everybody thinks and stay true to what God has put in your heart.


Ashley Jones headshot

Ashley is a dancer, teacher, and choreographer based in Los Angeles. She is a graduate of the University of Southern California and currently a member of the Leadership Long Beach 25th Anniversary Class of 2014. Ashley teaches ballet, tap, jazz, and hip hop out of the School of Dance and Music located in the South Bay area, California, and also teaches freelance private lessons, workshops, and master classes along the west coast. She is a company member and choreographer for LA Unbound and has been a principal dancer with Ballet Repertory Theatre. She is currently nominated for California Congresswoman Bonnie Lowenthal’s 30 women under 30 in the arts category for her volunteerism and work with children in dance. She currently resides in Long Beach, CA and hopes to open her own dance studio in the near future.



  1. Thank you for sharing Ashley! I pray that God will continue to shine through you and give you strength through the path that you have chosen! I believe in LOVE & that it can be found through all people. love you girl & go#LLBI2014 silver class

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  3. I agreed with your father It’s moral code here. black and white dating has failed many times over the past. Stick with your own race.

    • That is very very rude. How dare you? ‘Stick to your own race’ And you think it’ll be so different with dating in your own race? I’ve been dating my boyfriend who is white for TWO YEARS. I’m 19 and this is still going. Don’t yo dare tell people that love has boundries when it comes to people. Why should that even matter? Selfish.

  4. You sound like a drama queen. You carry the pain of african americans on your shoulders. Why bother?

  5. Asha, you have to reconcile with your father. He may be wrong in principle but his motivations are rooted in protecting you based on his experiences. In a perfect world, everyone is awesome and dependable. Simple statistical info will tell you that 75% of black children are born out of wedlock and that black men are effectively becoming polygamist. Do amazing black men exist that dedicate their lives to a single woman? of course – but anecdotal evidence – for the father of a beautiful and talented young lady – is insufficient. I have five daughters and sympathize with your father. Being politically correct is irrelevant when the safety or well being of my daughters is on the line. Your father may be wrong in principle but give him a break – his emotional response is a sign of his deep love for you. Don’t lose him. If Aaron or someone else is worth it, you will just have to work that much harder to convince your father that the young man is worth your time. Please don’t give up on your dad. No way. He probably should trust your judgement but he has decades of his own experiences to struggle with. Fathers can be idiots. Forgive us.

  6. Black male white female couples have the highest divorce rate of any pairing 76%. That’s twice the white white rate. They also come with higher rates of spousal abuse and infidelity. Your father is right. He should have given you the statistics that back up his personal experience. I have heard a lot of black guys talk about white women amongst themselves and most of them say the most disgusting things about white girls and white people in general. Also a rasmussen poll asked all races which race was the most racist, every group said blacks are the most racist including blacks. I’m sure if a black family made the same stand as your father did, you would probably sympathize with them, saying that they’re just expressing they’re blackness. Also your kids will have a lower IQ than children of white white parents. Interracial children on average fall in between white and black average. Also the kids won’t look anything like you, and won’t be accepted by either side. There is internal racism amongst blacks regarding how dark or light you are. Look at the the types of societies blacks build, they have never built an advanced civilization on their own. I’m sure you think that is because of white racism, but riddle me this batman, Liberia and Ethiopia were never colonized by whites, yet they are the most backward countries in Africa today. Blacks are 13 percent of the population but they commit about 1/3 of total rapes (there is no social construct argument for rape), and 50% of the murders and violent crime. And as far as discrimination in criminal justice system goes, if you compare convictions with the National Crime Victimization Survey you will see that according to the victims, police are simply going after the criminals. There was a study done with white and black children where they were given a choice to either have a candy bar right now, or to wait a couple days and get two, the blacks overwhelmingly chose the instant gratification of having the candy bar now, where whites chose to wait. Low IQ and a lack of impulse control is what plagues the black community. IQ is heavily correlated with a countries GDP. If you look at every all black society you will see that low IQ low impulse control people produce the conditions they live in, not white racism. People from northern climates have higher IQ’s because in requires intelligence and family planning to survive the harsh winters. The average prison IQ is 85, the average American Black IQ is 85, blacks are on average more predisposed to crime. This is the truth, and burying your head in the sand won’t change that. There’s more to a relationship than the “feelies”, and I’m sure your father gets this. Human beings are attracted to similarity, and there is not much in common between black and white people; the top ten television shows are completely different for blacks and whites just for example. I’m sure part of you thinks that you could have been one of the 24% that defied the odds, but I’m sure the other 76% thought the same thing. Your father probably doesn’t want to end up raising your kids, which there’s a high probability of that happening, so you can’t blame him. You described how good your father was to you during your childhood, yet you’re willing to put your family in a bad situation due to your selfishness. The USA is still 70% white, there’s a white guy out there for you, there isn’t just one person out there for everyone, that’s just something Hollywood sells in the movies.

    • Ashley, live your life for YOU and no one else. God put you on this planet to do HIS will not your father’s. Your purpose is far greater than he can ever comprehend. Do you think Anne Dunham’s parents were thrilled to find out that their lily white daughter was dating a black guy from Africa?…Do you think that when her father first laid eyes on his grandson that he knew he would be staring at the 44th President of the United States, which CLEARLY blows white supremacists Mike’s theory out of the water about blacks and biracial people having low IQs. Hell, even I got his ass beat in that department. Don’t worry Mike, you about to get this work in a minute. Anyway, live your life for you. Your dad put a condition on his love to control your life and he says blacks are bad for you? As for your ex-boyfriend, he made the decision to run instead of fight for your love. Your father would’ve had more respect for him if he had stayed to prove he was the credible man for you than running like the pussy he was. He did you a favor. Ask God to help you find and recognize the man for you…when you are ready. He will prepare you by opening your eyes to see past skin color, open your ears to hear his intentions and your heart to help you defend him against anyone who stand against your union. God will also stand with you because who the man he sends to you will also be a man of God. What God brings together, let NO man tear apart. Always remember that where your earthly father lacks in love, God picks up the slack and will not forsake you the way your father has.

      • The white race is going instinct and stupid white whores like yourself are responsible. What is the world going to be like without white people? Have you ever been to an African country?

        Have fun catching AIDS from your monkey lover.

        • Learn how to spell ‘extinct’… and you accuse all black people of having AIDS, the irony

        • I wasn’t aware that dating 3 men over a decade made me a whore. Learn something new every day.

          • Honestly to tell you the truth NO RACE will want you after you dated a black guy. Because he was successful some might forgive however Im telling you no race including Middle Eastern or Asian and even your own will want you because you have it in your mind that you can save RACISM. Look just take the burden off your shoulders and go back to dating your men or other races THAN BLACK. Tell no one you dated a black guy and you will have a better life. I PROMISE you as I know what a lot of white women go through. Ive had many White girlfriends tell me they wish they didn’t DATE a black guy rather someone of another race because there is too much contrasting differences. Good luck with your life and I hope you’ve moved on I want you to be happy.

          • You are not a whore but white people are the global minority and white women making these decisions is actually a growing issue that adds to this problem. These people expressing racial hate toward you will get worse from our dissolving ethnicity. Your father expected you to carry on our people like all fathers do. You disappointed him in that aspect, for that I am sure. You are the good type of woman that all white men hate to lose from our pool of relationship possibilities. In short and in a very cold light. White women will be the destructing force of the white ethnicity, its really that simple. I don’t mean this to come across as hateful. But If I were a woman there is no way in hell I could live with the knowledge of coming from a ethnicity that is projected to be dissolving because of low birthrates and still chose to be with men of another ethnicity. You are a beautiful white woman, most of the white men who see you with any man, let alone a non-white one will hate who ever you are with. Every black man with a white woman will soon be in great danger in the coming future. I am not making threats I am making a prediction. Good luck…

        • That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. So what you’re saying is that it’s stupid of her to date a black man because of the diseases from a country HE’S NOT EVEN FROM? Wow. You must be genius. And “monkey lover” is that the best you got? No offense but uh the last time I checked, monkeys have white skin. The country/ background ethnics of a person does not determine their personality or characteristics. And learn the meaning of what a ‘whore’ is.

        • another inbred low IQ possibly southern white!

        • Yeah the white race will go extinct too marrying your cousin as you do down south!

    • Absolutely, positively correct.

    • I’ve only got a Bachelors & Masters Degree, own my own home and business, and have a brand new prius that I wrote a check for in full sitting in the drive way, but me dating a guy who happened to be black means that we would have divorced and I would have been left helpless and broke begging my Dad to raise my kids? You’re an idiot.

      • I was gang raped by black men when I was in my late teens. Our entire family has fled South Africa because we are white and were being persecuted by the blacks. My daughter who is just finishing first year in Uni has told me, despite knowing my history and our family’s reasons leading up to us leaving the country of our birth, that she has chosen a black boyfriend over us. She says he is a nice guy yet our once to ethical, honest daughter is suddenly lying and deceiving everyone to ensure she can shack up with this boy. I have told her exactly what your father told you that there is no place for her in my life while she is in this relationship. Here I struggle feeling like the worst person in the world yet my daughter carries on not seeing how selfish her actions are. I have friends from all ethnic groups. Am I racist? If that’s the label I carry in strongly disagreeing with black/white sexual relationships then so be it. You wrote about how fantastic your Dad was, yet you condemn him when he reacts so strongly to your interracial relationship, not for a second giving him the priveledge of understanding why he feels the way he does but rather labelling him a racist. You, like my daughter are very selfish and solely responsible for the divide in your respective families.

        • White people have the highest school shooting and child molesting charges in America. Does that mean you never date a white guy or have a white baby sitter?no. Just like this woman’s father you are blinded by your own ignorance. Her father tore apart the family not her

          • Ryan Liarzalotz says:

            Blatant lie. Chicago anyone? It is amazing the level of confirmation bias going on with minorities, you are practically ensuring your own destruction.

          • Of course white people do you idiot. Their the majority. Their is 6 times more whites than blacks. Take black crimes times 6 to get the real numbers if it were equal. Times 2 is all it needs for blacks to outnumber whites in crimes. Imagine 6, genius.

        • Actually you are the selfish one. And very ingorant. I’m sorry what happened to you in SA, that wasn’t right and it’s understandable that you are scarred by those days. But you know what? You can’t blame people who come from different places of the same thing. That is rude. And to tell your daughter that she must choose between two people that she loves that it’s either your way or the highway is pretty selfish.
          I’ve been tomented all my life by white guys calling me mean names but here I am dating one who is so kind and helpful and tries his best to make me happy and I remain loyal and do the same for him. Not everyoe is the same. Stop being ignorant. You’re thinking only of yourself and you know it.

        • reasonbomb says:

          Yes you are a racist. You have “friends” from all ethnic groups, but you obviously don’t trust them or respect them, and at best view them as “exceptions” to some rule you made up in your mind.

          I have friends who have been raped and assaulted. All by white guys. I’m talking 80% of my female friends. Further white men systematically raped my ancestors and the ancestors of those who look like me on a regular basis without blinking and then came up with a dozen stereotypes to justify it. By your logic I should then dump my white boyfriend…history shows white Europeans and their descendants are hyper violent. Everywhere colonialism has been there has been rape, theft, mutilation, apartheid etc. Almost every single mass shooting in America has been done by white men. Historically Blacks, Indians, and others have more reason to fear whites than the opposite. However, this has nothing to do with your daughter dating a black man. You have decided that you believe all black men are vicious, and all black men are exactly the same. That is racist, that is bigotry. There is no way around it in the slightest. Having a black person you call “friend” does not eliminate the fact that you have a problem with black people.

          You talk about this woman not giving her dad enough thought for why he feels this way. But you turn around and decide, just like this woman’s father that, somehow you’re feelings and stereotypes trump any actual person your child is involved with. Your daughter probably lied to you before she started dating this man, and she probably lied about that because she knows that you are a 100% racist and it’s not because you were gangraped. It’s because you were already racist and this horrible event very loosely ties into what you already believe. Your daughter, or Aaron, could be the nicest, most polite, human beings, but you have no respect for black people don’t see black people as being as human as you see yourself.

          You are a racist.
          You’re “concerns” are racist.
          And I think you just want to justify that fact and pretend you are in the right for judging men and women you don’t even know.

        • i’m sorry you were raped and i don’t mean to sound unsympathetic, but you could have been raped by just anybody of race or any color. There are evil people everywhere. You had a bad run in with some terrible people and i’m sorry for what you went through. When i was a child a white man tried to rape me, luckily, i was able to fight him off an make a run for it, i was terrified to go out for awhile, i told my mother but she wasn’t very supportive, she made it seem like it was my fault. My experience doesn’t mean i see white people as evil because of that, I see no color. I only judge people hearts and actions.

          i’m glad your daughter is taking a stand against you cause You mam are a close minded individual. We don’t get to chose who we love, sometimes it just happens. It doesn’t matter if you have friends of various “ethic” backgrounds. you willing to kick your daughter out of your life because she chooses to date a skin color you disapprove of does make you racist and is indeed selfish. You’re all into your feelings and making it all about YOU and making her feel as if she doesn’t matter. She has a right to experience life for herself. Maybe the guy treats her really well, that’s awesome. Why judge an individual based on the senseless acts of others against you? If her relationship is meant to be it will be, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. if you want to be a bitter old woman for the rest of your life, so be it. if her relationship is not meant to be, she moves on and learns from her relationships.

          Your the one ruining your relationship with your daughter, your older and you’re acting like a child. I hope she doesn’t lose sleep over you. People can be easily replaced and i hope she finds supportive and LOVING people in her life

        • As you sow, so shall you reap! Does not happen in the Republic of Singapore does it?

        • “I was raped by a gang of black men” OH boo freakidy whoo! This isn’t about you you pompous twat. What they did over there to you doesn’t mean everyone of that particular race will do it. Sorry to break it to you but um….black people doesn’t equate to being African. All of you keep refering to black people as African American or African and telling them to go back to Africa. That’s like telling a Russian to go back to “Nahzi Germany”. Shut up. You’re looking for pity and there is none here for you.

      • Bachelors and Masters Degree in what? Having a degree in underwater basket weaving does not make you intimidating. You have a prius? Congratulations you use objects as status symbols, so your sense of self worth is tied in with Status. I can see why you are obeying your media masters into self depreciation.

        No one said you would get divorced, Mike said you were much more likely to get divorced which is a statistical fact.

        You should probably take a course in ethics/philosophy and perhaps some pre-algebra, might get you up to speed on using your head next time you run into one of these little dilemmas. One day you might even be able to do *gasp* calculus, then you can actually list what you have a degree in, so we will all know that you actually had to work in college to earn a degree.

        By the way, here is the definition of idiot for you, lest your were putting on your makeup when you scribbled it. An idiot, dolt, dullard or (archaically) mome is an intellectually disabled person, or someone who acts in a self-defeating or significantly counterproductive way.

        Now, who is acting in a self-defeating way? Me? Who is commenting on your families life which is on public display? Or You, who although feels the plight of the poor lowly black, but who still dumped him, and drug your family through the mud for attention. Pretty sure its you.

        • Boom!

        • I got an A in Calculus. My degree’s are in Business Administration and Political Science.

          • Don’t feed the trolls. You do you. Your story is great. Focus on making yourself a better person! You seem awesome and don’t let the trolls get to you. There is a ton of hate from ignorant, less than adequate men it seems. Most are cowards, sad little men and women who do nothing more than foment hate. I kinda feel sorry for em… as should you. Keep doing you and I hope it works out! – ACC

      • I hope the white guy you are dating dumps you.

      • Hello Ashley, i don’t know if this website is still active, i am actually going through the same thing right now. I’m dating a black guy and my dad just became really negative with it that he badly want me to leave my boyfriend., He never even met him at all or tried to know him but he seemed very negative about me dating him, My siblings are actually okay with him including my mom.
        But it’s my dad who’s just really racist and telling me that i don’t respect him if i don’t break up with him. So he means i don’t respect him because i dated a black guy?I can see that that my dad is really racist. he judge by it’s look or their race without even trying to know that person,
        what’s worse is that him telling me that i would suffer and make my family suffer because i dated a black guy. That he is even insulting me telling me i am spiritually blind? it doesn’t make sense at all. Telling me all these stuff because i am dating black. And he even brought up my ex who’s white that he is even much better than ths black guy, that even ths guy is way better than my ex,
        My dad sending me insulting messages as well that i don’t even wanna detail them, i guess you get and feel how i am feeling already since you have been there. Things just have been so rough with me lately, damn it’s confusing what to do. I love my dad and i love my man as well.
        If you are interested to reply and talk to me here’s my email I would like to have your advice or prolly you could share your experiences wth me.

    • The truth people sadly don’t want to accept because they think it will never happen to them.

    • The reason for the skewed abuse rates are because a lot of abuse goes in reported. Due to the woman not wanted her spouse to lose his good job or wanting their kids father labeled an abuser. While that isn’t considered if the offender is black. Which I don’t care if they are reported because no one should be at on their spouse. Just don’t pretend like a lot of these crimes aren’t hidden or go unreported in staggering numbers.

    • nicely said

    • I’m hearing some of the most feminine deal that’s ever been spoken from these so-called men who are acting as the pussy police. Spouting of silly stays in hope of white women not dating Blackman won’t help your insecurity.

    • And what if all the white guys are jackasses like yourself?

    • very well said

    • If you like child molester date a white guy.

    • How disgusting. Where have you been your whole life? What a terrible way to classify an entire race. Shame on you and poor you. Your reply spews ignorance, stupidity, and hate. I couldn’t believe I was reading what you wrote.

      • My previous comment was for the ignorant Mike up top. I bet you there are black people in America running around with your same DNA….ever taken a DNA test to see who you really are. Some blacks in America (even with dark skin) have the slave and the slave master in their DNA. You may want to step off Mike when it comes to putting people down. And by the way, “Look at the the types of societies blacks build, they have never built an advanced civilization on their own.” How dumb was that comment? Ever heard of Egypt? Oh and lets talk about the first woman to ever earn her pilots license…I’ll let you google that one. It wasn’t Amelia Earhart either. I feel sorry for you Mike. Hard to believe that people who think like you still exist. Your words are living proof that we are in the End Times. I pray that you’ll find the love of Christ and that love will be expressed towards others. Ashley, there are so many hateful people replying to you. I believe you know this, but there is NOTHING wrong with loving someone from any race different from your own! Not even the black race. Love and marry who you love. I know it must hurt deeply to damage the relationship with your father. That has got to be incredibly painful. I applaud you for making it known where you stand and to let him know that you do not hold his same beliefs when it comes to marrying outside of your own race. That takes so much courage. Thank you for sharing your story. I have a similar one. The only difference is that my family was the accepting one.

  7. Your father was right. What you were doing was immoral, trashy and disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself. I would have disowned you as well for turning on your family and race.

    • I’m sorry to say, I have black friends I’m 25 don’t have kids. I have no problem with black people even though sometimes they do act out in public, but I would never allow my daughter to date a black guy. I just couldn’t allow my grand kids to be black. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. But I understand that’s ur going through a tough time.

      • reasonbomb says:

        You obviously have a problem with black people. Stop pretending you don’t

        Also white people act out in public all the time. As do Indians, Asians, Middle Eastern persons of varied ancestry. You only notice because it confirms biases you already have. You’re a racist and a terrible person. Accept it and stop pretending you respect your black “friends” you don’t. On some deep level you hate black people and don’t trust us. Do yourself a favor and stop pretending.

    • RJ Reynolds says:

      If her father was a decent man he would love all of his children UNCONDITIONALLLY. Regardless who they choose to have relations with. That means if she decided she was gay, or pansexual, or if she decided to love outside of her race; whatever the issue, a real father NEVER ABANDONS HIS KIN. It sickens me to no end, every time I hear of a family turning on one of their own because they are Gay or because of a mix raced relationship or an out of wedlock birth or an abortion or apostasy from the religion you were brought up in. It’s the most hurtful thing you can do to your own children. If something like an interracial relationship was enough for her father to disown her, then he never loved her to begin with. If you truly love your famiky, you will stick by them no matter what. And as far as race is concerned, the only race I represent is the human race. fuck your race-baiting hateful self, fuck your religion and your Gods and fuck you Darren White. Learn to fucking spell before you get on your high horse and tell other people how to live.

    • Darren white you mean Darren “the Low IQ inbred southern” White

    • Would it be better if she dated a Mexican or Asian?

  8. Ashley – I wanted to send you a treatment of the documentary series we are trying to cast, perhaps you’d like to share your story:

    Major NYC Production co. is seeking individuals who fundamentally disagree with their family’s views on race, sexuality, ethnicity, gender, religion etc. We’re looking for people who grew up immersed around a certain mentality, that they’ve chosen to break from or wish to break from. This documentary series focuses on breaking out of hatred. If you know someone or are someone who fits this description, we’d love to hear from you. We are gathering all sorts of stories and insight for this exposé.

    Thanks! Mary

  9. Hi Ashley. First, you will have to forgive those who have “good intentions” and tell you to reconcile with your father…he was right…look at these {skewed} black statistics (probably from stormfront)…etc. These are the same individuals that will refuse to acknowledge the sins of their forefathers or the fact that their undercover racist tendencies are further fueling the mentality that is keeping a people from becoming all they can be. The same ones that don’t have an answer for men like Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Kenneth Chenault, or Dr. Mark Dean.

    Your story breaks my heart. I’ve been the “Aaron” in many of my relationships. I’m the other side of those flawed statistics. The good side. I grew up as the black kid in a privileged and very white community. I like people who are like me. Musical interests, favorite restaurants, forms of entertainment – these are primary concerns. Skin color is so secondary.

    Anyways, I’m not here to tell you what to do. I just wanted to remind you of what the wildcards did. It only takes one person to change the mentality of a nation. One MLK, one Jesus, one Oprah, one Darwin, one Mother Teresa, one Elvis, one Malala Yousafzai!

    I don’t believe you are fighting your father just to date whomever you choose to date. I believe you are opposing the negative mentality that has spread across our nation due to evil acts committed hundreds of years ago and still perpetuated today under the veil of, “I have MANY black friends, but…”

    I would hope you choose to continue fighting the good fight. I do my small part everyday. It’s amazing! I actually have a friend who was in a long term relationship with a black guy, but it didn’t work. She then decided she would only date white guys (her own race), and began believing dumb stereotypes she once denied. When she met me she was reminded that just because you are black doesn’t mean you plan on cheating, beating, and disrespecting white women. Her online dating profile now includes everyone. That’s just because of hanging out with me for 3 months! Amazing what we can do.

  10. how white girls like those black nigger gorillas is beyond me. ur dad is right ashley, break up right away

  11. Hey Ashley ,I’m sorry for what happened to you . best of luck .

  12. Ashley, don’t be so obtuse. The sexual and reproductive arenas have their own rules. Don’t try to put them and the job market/public life in the same basket. It’s perfectly natural and possible for a white person to respect black people and view and treat them as equals in the public areas of society but to be racist in the sexual field. Racial discrimination in one’s personal and sexual life is completely legal and acceptable. Racism is not intrinsically evil; intolerant liberals have brainwashed many whites into believing this. Your father feels that the racial diversity of human kind needs to be protected and that races should not mix sexually. This is a perfectly valid belief to have. You are Caucasian, and you should marry a Caucasian and raise Caucasian children. That is my belief as well. You simply cannot understand the disappointment your father is feeling that you’ve decided to end his Caucasian line with your bi-racial children you’ll be having. I can understand his pain. It’s an insult to Caucasian men in general when white women date outside their race, hence why those women are shunned. These things will never change. The date is irrelevant. Of course no one can force you or intimidate you not to date black men, but you’ll just have to accept the consequences. Stick to tradition and date your own race. Stop being a rebel and a liberal narcissist.

    • FYI- I’m not a liberal. I was not dating this person because he was black. I was dating him because he was him. Maybe that’s a “liberal” concept that’s far over your head.

      • What a load of tosh. It is not acceptable for a father to put conditions such as this on his daughter. Or anyone to make out keeping races apart sexually is necessary or just. It is complete racism of the highest order. And anyone who holds such beliefs about race is pure evil, and certainly not a holder of acceptable views. They are equal to Hitler. Not something said lighly, for affect, or shock value, just the flat bare truth!

  13. Ashley,you are a very pretty woman and should be able to get a white man to date.Interracial relationships bring a whole new set of problems which when you consider how life and non interracial relationships can be hard as they are,why add to those.

    I am a white female so not saying this out of any sense of jealousy,though I can understand why white males are against it and being jealous doesn’t lessen their reasoning as to why it s wrong.

    You are the product of a white mother and white father and by going with and having children with a black man you will end the lineage that made you look like you.Why would you want to have children that bear no resemblance to you?

    I hope you seriously consider this,Ashley,because once you cross that line there is no going back.

    • Brandon Marks says:

      Both of my mixed Children look just like their mother. And as far as problems, my wife has had 0 and none of the other white women I know that have back husbands. That’s all just made up 60s way of thinking. I’m really sorry you such a misguided notion about interracial relationships.

    • If you read correctly, I am the product of a Mexican mother and White Father so I guess I’m already of low value according to you. I wonder why you and other think having children is about having them look like you? I’m not having kids so that I can bask in the glory of how much they look like me.

      • This post is so yesterday haha it’s 2017 now. Think people on here must have died or got old or something specially with the racist comments. Listen I am a black man n I dont care what any white person or black person says about me dating a white woman. For me I prefer a beautiful white woman. The only reason why white men get so angry is because yes they are afraid. They are afraid that it will kock off a trend and tgere will perhaps be no white beatiful women left for white men. Truth is thats just stupid thinking white men dont want to go up against black men interms of what white women perhaps really want nor do they want black men in their family to make them feel awkward. Truth be told for white men it’s an embarrasment but if they could put the racism to one side n actually get to kmow a bruda they might find its not so bad at the end of the day white guys get with black women and we have to suck it in lol. Anyway all this racist bullshit is about who is better than who n carrying on a legacy n its stupid thinking in todays society. Times are changing amd the gate keepers think they can suppress blacks but we are wising up to how the system works n what things are put in place to keeps us black men down. Keep hating lol the more you do wont make any difference.

      • You are no different than your father. You will not consider his feelings, just like he isn’t considering yours. Only difference is, his age and experience has probably shown him things through the years that he would like to have his daughter (love of his life) avoid. While it does appear to you and the trolls that this is pure racism on your fathers part, there is a good chance he is trying to protect you from the same vile people who are on this very post showing their hate and ignorance, as no matter how we all try to pretend it doesn’t exist, ignorance and racism is alive and well in America. Ever think maybe Dad just didn’t want some of the world to see you ugly, even if it is only the ignorant who will spew venom? Trust me I get it, I am facing the same challenge with my daughter today. While I don’t mind her friend, I hate what the world says behind their backs, and worse yet is what some of the filth in the world will say to their faces. its not easy… BTW, all the black women in her friends family, do not like his “white” girl… its not as simple as it appears.

        • So her Dad was trying to “protect” her from the ignorance of others, by putting that ignorance on to her HIMSELF and then, once shattering her and refusing to reconcile, while her relationship was still active, was only willing to reconcile AFTER the relationship break up. And ONLY on his ‘terms and conditions’. Please. Get over yourself. This is not love. This is not protection. This is not reasonable. It is tyranny. It’s is dictatorship. It is racism. And anyone who tries to justify it at all is no better!

  14. race mixing is a no no it doesnt take someone with a white sheet to understand that blacks do not get along with white people and hold deep seeded hatred toward them that manifest itself the more you get to know them and show there true colors no punt intended there are many reasons why fathers and mothers try to protect there children and even though you may not see it It exist wouldnt it be a wonderful world for all races to come together and live in peace and harmony but in reality that will not ever happen it is impossible for it to happen and to believe in it is ignorance at its purest form if you read the statics of murders done by the hands of black on white crime you would quiver in fear on how the media could hide such crimes but the truth is they dont care because racism having to do with whites is big business and business is gooood if you want a reason to not date outside your race do the research and find out for yourself why most whites avoid them like the plague im not talking about ignorant whites that simply hate someone for there skin tone im talking about the reality of the situation dont be blinded by Hollywood bs they try to portray the blacks on tv and media you take away the money and comfortable lifestyle of a black and you will see evil like never seen before in america whites would be hunted like in Africa taking from you to feed there own

  15. race mixing is a no no it doesnt take someone with a white sheet to understand that blacks do not get along with white people and hold deep seeded hatred toward them that manifest itself the more you get to know them and show there true colors no punt intended there are many reasons why fathers and mothers try to protect there children and even though you may not see it It exist wouldnt it be a wonderful world for all races to come together and live in peace and harmony but in reality that will not ever happen it is impossible for it to happen and to believe in it is ignorance at its purest form if you read the statics of murders done by the hands of black on white crime you would quiver in fear on how the media could hide such crimes but the truth is they dont care because racism having to do with whites is big business and business is gooood if you want a reason to not date outside your race do the research and find out for yourself why most whites avoid them like the plague im not talking about ignorant whites that simply hate someone for there skin tone im talking about the reality of the situation dont be blinded by Hollywood bs they try to portray the blacks on tv and media you take away the money and comfortable lifestyle of a black and you will see evil like never seen before in america whites would be hunted like in Africa taking from you to feed there own period dont be a fool and fall into the trap set by them the difference between a liberal and white supremacist is not of color but ignorance and smarts you see libs are racist too they are just smarter when it comes to hiding it

  16. Whites are an endangered species dwindling fast. Don’t contribute to white genocide. I say this as a non white.

    • Brandon Marks says:

      You call 77.7 percent of the us population endangered? Lol

      • 77% and falling sharply. If Donald does not build that wall soon whites will be a minority in America by 2020. Whites are about 21% of the world population and this number is dropping even faster.

        • It’s the likes of you & Donald that need to be weeded out though, so you’ve not done yourself any favours. Best to never talk again really, being the dumb ass you are!

  17. You’ve obviously never lived with black people growing up cause you would know your dad was looking out for you

  18. Brandon Marks says:

    I am beyond disgusted with these irrational comments on here. First of all Ashley, your story beautiful and heartbreaking. Your father who is supposed to love you no matter what, protect you no matter what, and be there for you no matter has chosen to basically make you be what he wants you to be rather than yourself. As a father of 4 girls myself I could never ever disown my girls for any reason, much less something so small as interracial dating. Also generally you are more attracted to the type of person most like your first love so don’t feel bad when the next guy you like happens to be black. I wish you the best of luck in the future. Now second of all, this irrational fear the “white” race is going anywhere is ridiculous! Per 100 ppl in the us 60 are WHITE and 11 are BLACK. Don’t you guys understand that this is an enormous difference that will take hundreds of years to reverse. Yes if u lump all minorities in with one another then number is much closer but that not fair nor relevant. 3rd of all, past history of black men should have nothing to do with this well educated black man. Black guys and white guys treat women badly. White guys by far are the leaders in domestic violence. White guys by far are the leaders in rapes and other sterotypical “black men” categories. 4th, to say you aren’t racist but you don’t want your daughter dating a man because he’s black is RACIST! Hide behind “protecting” all you want but it’s racist! A well educated, well mannered gentleman isn’t enough, he has to be non black too? Come on guys, either just come out as racist or stop thinking like one. Lastly, it really pisses me off when I hear, “what will you be treated like in public.” Or, “mixed dating has failed many times.” My favorite: ” He’s gonna leave you after you have kids.” Utterly ridiculous! I am proud to say I am black man and have been married to my wife whose white for 5 years. Been together for 7 years. We r 29 and 27. Both have degrees, own our own home and have 4 beautiful daughters. 2 are ours together and we had 1 each when we got together. My step daughter is full white and my wife’s step daughter is full black… uh oh a black man raising a white girl??? Yep and here’s the kicker, her white dad lives 20 minutes away and NEVER talks to her. He’s a no good dead beat dad. No way! Yep. And no we’ve never had bad things happen to us because we are together. Yes her parents and I get along really well, even though they initially had some reservations about us in the name of “protection.” Her father and I watch football together every weekend. I know what you’re thinking, I’m the exception… Nope you guys are. You see by telling your daughter who she shouldn’t be with, you may have ruined her chance at true happiness.. by alienating black men you have passed on your backwards thinking to the next generation which will continue the perpetual underlying racism that has haunted this country since inception.

    • Brandon Marks says:

      I was wrong about the population. Per every 100 ppl in the us 77 are white while 13 are black.. even more laughable when it comes to the white race being weeded out lol

  19. Mighty interesting that the majority of the negative comments towards black men are coming from men who I assume are not black. A LOT of insecurity here…..

  20. The sad truth is this isn’t suprising. As a black male, it is heart breaking to hear your story. It is even more heartbreaking to read the comments. What’s scary is most of the comments are made by people who would probably smile on my face of we ever met in public. These people speak of “just looking at the facts”. The only real fact here is that they base who I am by the color of my skin rather than what I have done. I’m honestly scared to date white women out of the fear that some of her relatives would be like these people. Why is it so hard to judge a person on their actions, not their skin tone? Why does skin color matter so much to people? I honestly don’t understand why people choose hate so easily. I hope for a day when I can look to a white friend and not wonder if they are a closet racist. The truth is racsim may die out (at least practically) one day. But the truth is we are many generations away from that point. Though i know it won’t happen, I wish I could have seen the day where I could read comments and not feel like other people view me as a lesser human being because I was born with darker skin. Words can’t express how sad stuff like this makes me. Not mad. Sad that this is what people will realistically think of my family and me.

  21. Meme I’m not sure what ethnic group you are from but I am guessing judging by your responses you are a young black girl? If I am right, do me a favour and comment when you have a bit more life experience. Two years in a relationship is still the honeymoon phase so don’t look for brownie points there. Also, don’t look to marginalise other people’s pain because people like myself have Valid reasons for our feelings and while youngsters want to find their identity and prove their independence they don’t care who they hurt along the way. I don’t think all black people are bad, there’s good and bad in everyone, I just don’t approve of interracial relationships for a wide range of reasons. I expect my own flesh and blood to honour my feelings because ultimately surely family is more important than a juvenile fling?

    • I am not just “a black girl”. That is just the basics of what I am. But It does not make my personality nor does it make my characteristsics. I am of Afam, Italian, Irish, Cuban, Korean, Blackfooted Indian, Netherlands Dutch and so on and so on and so on. I do not have to live 45 years to gain experience in life. Life IS the experience! And coming on here for you to judge a whole race off what a stupid group of men did to you in another continent means you are living in fear. That fear will consume you. I’m not looking for brownie points especially not from people who do not understand why I am proud of my 2 year relationship. There are bad apples in every race. It does not make it right to blame one race for what every race can or will do. Tell me something. If it had been white men who did such horrid things to you, what would you have felt against your daughter dating a Caucasian man in the states? Would you stil say the same thing? Or would you forgive?

      It hurts. It hurts to know that people can’t learn to forgive. It hurts to know that in order to love somebody it has to be in our own ‘race’. It doesn’t make any sense. And I would never follow advice from anybody who told me I could not date the man I love. Even if it was my own flesh and blood. I do not understand your pain, you are correct in that. But I also do not understand why a whole group has to be blamed for what happened all the way in South Africa. It’s not helping with anything and it’s just digging you into a deeper hole. I maybe young, but I am also very observant in my surrounding ans research.

  22. “I wasn’t aware that dating 3 men over a decade made me a whore. Learn something new every day.”

    Dating 3 men over a decade isn’t what made you a whore. Dating a black guy made you a whore. Whores don’t get to define what a whore is.

    I read your very long many paragraphed attempt to rationalize your behavior. It still boils down to the fact that you spread your legs for something that looks nothing like you or your family, and I’m guessing continued to do so after the strong criticisms from your father who loved you. It indicates you are dysfunctional and a drama queen. Make some changes and good luck finding someone respectable who won’t find you disgusting now 😉

    • Unlike you “good sir” there are millions of peope out there who do not care whether or not she dated a black man. It would be even better of you to keep your nose out of someone else’s love life and trying to tell them their future. Focus on yourself, not someone else. It doesn’t make sense any way, her mother is of Hispanic decent and her father is Caucausian. But of course, you don’t know how to read further down so you missed that information.

      • Well “young lady”, when someone posts their story on a website open to comments and expresses their “dilemma” via a 3 act abridged ballet my comments are far from “sticking my nose in the love life of someone else.”

        Good line about how millions of people don’t care blah blah blah. Millions of people are also single mothers, heroin addicts, etc. so let’s do what they do, right?

        You and this girl keep saying parents are supposed to love unconditionally, but how about children are supposed honor and obey their mother and father? And who says he doesn’t still love her?

      • Oh and the cop out that she is part Hispanic shows how badly you misinterpret the dynamics of the situation. If it were just about difference in appearance the father would have been mad about dating a blonde haired guy or short guys, chubby guys, etc.

        • This added comment you made is irrelevent. ANY WHO, you could still be respectful. I never said that her father didn’t still love her. Where did you see me say that exactly? Nowhere. “Children should honor their father and mother” yeah that’s true. But you have to gain respect to get respect. Her father isn’t respecting her decision. He doesn’t have to like it, he can be racist about it all he wants, but at least respect her choice. A person is a person. There is no superior race and there never will be. God made everyone equal.

          Calling her a “whore” isn’t going to do anything because in use of that word it is being put to use in a weak argument (no to mention it’s being used the wrong way). Who she finds attractive is her own personal opinion. It’s preference. You prefer same race and she prefers mixing it up. Who cares? You shouldn’t, not for this reason any way.

          • There is just so much to take issue with in your posts I don’t know where to begin. It really is amusing though to hear a 19 year old spew platitudes and act like she has a firm grasp on the universe.

            Instead of spending an hour obliterating all the trash you’ve posted in this thread I’ll concentrate on one thing you wrote in this comment.

            “God made everyone equal”

            Really? Where is your proof of this? It sure isn’t in the bible. There is plenty of evidence, empirical and statistical, that this is NOT the case. We don’t even have to be talking about races either. Are you quoting it because it’s in the Declaration of Independence? That refers to rights of people, and interestingly it says “Men” not “People”, so the famous document from where your stance most likely originates contradicts you.

            Yet you state it like it’s a fact that everyone must concede. All that supports your statement is commercial propaganda, and anecdotes.

        • reasonbomb says:

          Actually “empirical” evidence is variable and depends on the study and where it’s from. There is no study that proves inequality among the races across the board because that’s impossible to prove. All ethnic groups, not racial groups, vary by race, geography, history, and culture. Ultimately that is the problem with many of these studies with so called “empirical evidence” much of it can be warped to whatever ends people want. That’s the folly of scientific evidence…human bias and narrow mindedness that can dictate interpretations of data.

          The best example is concerning I.Q tests, which are flawed for race and class reasons. Historically poverty has been concentrated in minority groups, specifically blacks. This affected blacks very strongly in the last 100 years idea to the racism of how black soldiers were discharged post WWII (as compared to formerlly minority groups such as Irish, Jews, and Italian) which affected who could use the G.I Bill, those blacks who could use it were then limited due to the lack of black accepting schools, previous to that industry in the north was far more accesible to “white” minorities who originated from European cities with industry versus blacks from the south whose ancestors years later in the 70s were “last hired first fired” in regards to the economic troubles of the period. This isn’t considering the every day racism that people like you commit in preventing blacks from being seen and treated as human beings. All of this and more means that as a group blacks have historically been in a particular economic brackett. Prior to desegregation however things were not so bad(except the racism), however segregation, meant the middle and upper class blacks could move elsewhere thus taking their dollar with them increasing deteriorating schools due to a lack of tax base.
          The results of this is a large class difference between blacks and Asians(who are at the top followed by whites). That class difference which then meets cultural differences that arise out of having to survive a racist society and poverty is not accounted for by I.Q tests. Then even amongst black upper class folks their dollar is less than whites due to whites reaping years of inheritance. That economic difference is profound, a 25 year study detailed in “The Long Shadow” an astounding book) details how the economic differences create a space where black children, and yes whites in the lower classes, face giant gaps that result from a lack of summer activities and early poverty life experiences that create massive losses in some communities. Further the class culture difference means that certain questions on the I.Q test and other standardized tests including the SAT are inadequate because they’re written from a white middle-upper class perspective. That affects everything from how test makers write questions to what questions they write.

          I.Q tests or SAT scores are thought to be indicative of pure intelligence and capacity to learn, but it is generally accepted that these are flawed interpretations of these tests. However our view of education is that arising out of the industrial period, so we believe we can quantify everything…ultimately this just hurts our understanding of learning in general, and prevents us from truly examining and discussing the historical, political, and economic impacts upon various ethnic groups. These tests do measure a knowledge base and a skill base, however without interpreting these things through what students bring into the classroom and the world they come from they are ultimately pointless.

          That’s just one example of the flaws with calling evidence “empirical” and impossible to critique. There are many studies that are VERY well done and air tight, but do not assume that studies on subjects surrounding humanity are air tight and are caused by the nature of humanity alone. Studies show far more whites are on disability. But what does that mean? Well we can go a number of directions, social, medical, etc. Studies are complex and should be individually read, their authors questioned, and their funding sources questioned. Any good scientist would tell you that.

          Beyond that the arrogance to believe someone’s race makes them all around superior is a folly and self deception. This young lady was dating a successful man who’d she’d known for a long while and who her parents had previously met. He so happened to be black. He’s probably superior to many whites, many blacks, many asians, etc. on a variety of levels because ya know everyone is superior than someone on some level. Though some are more successful across more levels for one reason or another. Her father didn’t care and though he may love her he’s too much of a racist to actually care about whether a man she’s involved with could be good for her and her for him. There’s no logic to this. Every other person keeps wanting to say “Well the statistics say-” as though parents actively know these stats all the time…and as though all black people are the same. Because those people view all black people as being the same. This father instead of meeting Aaron and deciding if he liked him decided his racism was true and valid and his daughter was ruining her life with her “behavior. That behavior being dating a friend, a coworker, someone with the same interests as her, someone who is devoted to helping the community, and who was VERY interested in meeting her family. Even if her father considered the statistics of black/white divorce rates Statistics are averages at best and don’t define people. Further most of you never even brought up the possibility that racists like you put pressure on there relationships creating tension and stress that affects relationships. Scientists know that averages surrounding people vary, have potentially numerous causes,, and are not absolutes. This man and others who have posted are simply racists who think every single black man is the same person. It’s because you are all weak-minded and ignorant by choice. It’s sad and I pity you.

          Also…what does it mean to call a woman a “whore”? That’s your biggest insult? “Well you get paid to have sex!” Factually not true. “Well you enjoy having sex!” Well there’s nothing wrong with that. “Well you had sex with a black man and that makes you a whore.” Sweetie you obviously don’t even know what a whore is. A whore is someone who takes sex for money. A whore, if she plays her cards right, is a very wealthy woman for taking advantage of desperate or curious men and women. A whore in short is not defined by who she sleeps with. Plenty of people have had sex with black men…and you are so threatened by black men having consensual sex with a white woman that she must be a whore. Further you are so threatened by a ROMANTIC relationship between a black man and a white woman that she’s a “whore”. Why are you so sexually obsessed with black men? Well that’s for you to figure out. But if your biggest insult is that women involved with black men are whores then I doubt you have anything substantial to say…I also doubt you have a very basic vocabulary.

          • Regarding your comments on IQ: you are completely wrong, and about 4 decades behind the science. G has been mathematically isolated. IQ tests use geometric problems to narrowly focus on G at the expense of culturally-linked knowledge. Simply, you’re wrong.

            The phenomenon of IQ denial from non-STEM types(read: people without intellectual self-criticism) is shockingly similar to how non-STEM types are still quoting Lewontin on the issue of race while STEM types know his work was not only debunked, but discredited.

          • Uhhh.. East Asians score better on IQ Tests than American Whites. How can that be if the tests were designed for middle class whites???

        • No dude she’s right, the added comment was irrelevant to the topic. Stop typing.

          • You have to excuse the author of the first comment on this thread. He suffers from micropenis. He has the world’s smallest one.

    • Anonymous says:

      Whore is a word that by definition (you know, in an English dictionary) means that they have sex with a lot of people, and your comment also identifies you as a sexist (since you believe it is ok to call women whores because they don’t date who you want them to). Why would someone want to “spread their legs for someone who looks like their family”, I’ll never know. But if you get sexual gratification out of thinking about your family members, good for you. Unfortunately, you won’t have many dating opportunities, as women usually don’t get off on the idea of sleeping with their dad. By extension, good luck finding any woman to sleep with your racist, sexist, and incestuous ass. Any woman that marries or has married you must be a masochistic and racist idiot. My condolences for your daughters, wives, and sisters because you honestly believe that loving them consists of controlling their lives and disowning them if they do not follow your orders. When your descendants become ugly inbred fools, you have no one to blame but yourself. Besides, anyone who would want to be with someone who calls another human being (yes, black people are scientifically proven to be human just like you and me) a “thing”, is obviously a desperate woman at best. And when she finds someone who treats her better than a “whore”, she will leave you. But I bet that you don’t have the intelligence to note that someone’s personality has nothing to do with melanin, so you won’t realise that your relationship suffers due to your personality. Need proof? Just look at me. I am not and will never be like you, and I am glad for it. And before you say it is because I am stupid, I have an intelligence that is above the average iq. Buy yourself a dictionary and pray to God that your children aren’t as sociopathic and brain dead as you are. You will be in the minority of racist idiots that cause their own destruction, and I can’t wait to see your own children abandoning you (for controlling their lives and calling them horrible, sexist names. Which is apparently out of love for them?). Even if I don’t know you personally, it will honestly put a smile on my face every time a racist, sexist, and egotistical person like you is shunned and abandoned by their own family. You might think that by disowning your family, you are abandoning them, but ultimately they chose a black person over you. Meaning that person is valued over their own unloving, piece of crap father who put himself on an effing pedestal. I hope that it eats away at you and destroys your obviously inflated ego. Have a nice day and please don’t associate yourself with the rest of the white race any longer. I assure you that most of us don’t like to be grouped together with Confederate-flag waving idiots like yourself, and we are tired of stereotypes that you give the white and black races alike.

    • Racismisstupid says:

      Did you just admit you have a small dick? ?

  23. Ah, so I’m right. Enough said.

  24. diversitydeath says:

    Wow you posted this on the internet with a photo of your father? What a way to disrespect your entire family. Your dad was trying to help you and all you can do is try to ruin him. You are an absolutely horrible person. How do you not know the statistics concerning blacks? Are you ignorant? Did you think your father would want you to be exposed to the worst culture on earth? Bleh, disgusting.

    • Brandon Marks says:

      Worst culture on earth? Hahahahaha.. this crap makes me sick! Believe it or not there are many more good black men than bad. I know you probably all think the we live on the “hood” and listen to rap music while drinking a 40. We all hate our “baby mamas”.. and have criminal records.. we hate the police and all have 24 inch rims on our car right???? Lol oh yeah and we are also somehow less than you.. Because of the natural melanin we were born with?? Man I’m so glad you have your stats… but did you know that 10 out 10 ppl are born human. We are literally the samething. She’s not the horrible person.. YOU ARE!

      • Typical black male response. “Let’s everyone just get along so we can defile your white women”

        Also, 10 out of 10 Greyhounds and bulldogs are born dogs. Which one do you want running in a race?

        • Brandon Marks says:

          No matter what I say you’re gonna believe you’re better than me, so this is a no win conversation.. luckily I’m gonna sleep like baby next to my beautiful wife, wake up and take care our beautiful children.. one of which is my step daughter, who is full white.. and I’m gonna sleep even better knowing she’ll never become an inconsiderate self-righteous bigot such as yourself. You see your ridiculous concept of thinking just because you were born white that you somehow are better than me is further evidence of your insecurities. You’re so afraid of the big bad black man taking your women that you don’t realize that they are no more your women than they are mine. Hahaha haha I’d hate to live life like you.. I’d hate to be you and further more I’m sure deep down, you hate you.. anyway I have daddy daughter day to get back to with my step daughter, you see her real dad, the vastly better and more intelligent white guy, is a dead beat who lives 20 mins from here but doesn’t care to see or take care of her.. so since she was 3 (she’s 12 now) she’s been my responsibility.. but how could that be because he’s better than me.. remember? My culture is so terrible remember.. oh well it doesn’t matter that I make 6 figures. Have a master’s degree and own my own home. Let me guess I’m the exception? No I’m the rule, and where I’m from you’re the exception..

          • ~”You see your ridiculous concept of thinking just because you were born white that you somehow are better than me is further evidence of your insecurities”~

            Better than you? Highly relative term. Different yes. This article and thread is about her dad having a problem with dating blacks because of this.

            ~”You’re so afraid of the big bad black man taking your women that you don’t realize that they are no more your women than they are mine.”~

            Well no, any white woman who is interested in black men I don’t care about and am not interested in. It’s a free country so they can if they choose. The problem is it usually ends up being a burden to the rest of society. They are usually the type who are single moms that collect entitlements and use social services. If you dispute this everyone knows you’re full of it.

            ~”I’d hate to be you and further more I’m sure deep down, you hate you”~

            Well that’s interesting. Considering you and your wife choose to produce children as far away from who you and your family are as possible it actually sounds like you and her deep down hate yourselves.

            ~”you see her real dad, the vastly better and more intelligent white guy, is a dead beat who lives 20 mins from here but doesn’t care to see or take care of her.”~

            Are there worthless white people? Sure. Listening to your description though of a white woman who first hooked up with a complete loser and then a black guy it sounds like you have some ground chuck or utility sirloin on your hands.

            ~”oh well it doesn’t matter that I make 6 figures. Have a master’s degree and own my own home.” ~

            How much money you make has nothing to do with what kind of person you are. I have 6 figures in one of my several investment accounts, gaining interest and dividends at low tax rates on all of them instead of like you paying social security, medicare, and marginal tax rates like a chump. So what

            Why do you brag about things you are supposed to do? Men are supposed to buy a home, make a living, and take care of stepchildren. You act like you deserve a trophy.

            Look you do sound like a stand up guy. If most black guys were like you there probably wouldn’t be the issues there are.

            ~”Let me guess I’m the exception? No I’m the rule, and where I’m from you’re the exception..”~

            It really is amazing how some people think making a statement transforms it into fact. It’s like you’ve never paid attention to a minute of any science class.

            I don’t know where you’re from or who you’re talking about. Maybe in your circle of friends that statement is correct? The truth is close to 80% of black children are born out of wedlock. Fact. That isn’t even counting all the white women who have mixed bastards, because in most hospitals the race of the baby is listed as the mother’s race. I’m not even going to go into the incredibly high rates of disease, drug use, criminal records, etc. etc. of blacks compared to whites and most other races.

            So yes, you are the exception, and I’m the rule.

            Yet even ignoring that, scientifically speaking humans mate and reproduce to expand and multiply their genetics, not dilute or drop a bomb on them. Just because you and your wife have a disinterest in it doesn’t mean a father is bad because he feels it’s important.

            A man’s daughter is not a job opportunity or a seat on a bus, and the egalitarian agenda and all the PC propaganda doesn’t apply.

          • “Hahaha haha I’d hate to live life like you..”

            So you hate the fact he’s caring?

        • Anonymous says:

          Honestly, what woman in her right mind would want to be owned by a white man who compares dogs to humans. Maybe you are losing women because you are treating them like your servants like we owe something to you. That’s also how the white man lost their slaves. Before you know it, you’ll be alone and no one will give a shit about you. After all, what will men like you do when fundamentalist, sexist religions die out? Those poor brainwashed women are the only girls who will have you, and they are already in the minority. You can call women whores, but you are just pushing them even further away from you. I assure you that being called a whore by some sexist man is nothing new to us. You are probably abusive to any women in your family, so don’t be surprised when they leave you for someone else.

        • Racismisstupid says:

          The black ones. The black ones are the fastest lol

  25. Peter Hood says:

    Personally, from my experience this is odd.. very peculiar; not because she dated or got involved with a Black guy, but in the sense that she is letting her dad control her and tell her who to date, marry, or get involved with. This is America, you should have the right to date, marry, intercourse, or get involved with whoever you want to get involved with regardless of what parents, friends, or society says or think.

    I know it’s very hesitant, uneducated, and lowclass; but many white families (especially in the south/Midwest) they try to dictate to their children who to date or get involved with and they claim all this stupid nonsense that inter-racial dating/sex is genocide, it’s against God and religion, and that it will destroy a culture… well how in the Phuck will inter-racial dating destroy a culture; if both the white girl and black guy are both full blooded Americans? They were both born and raised in America; it’s not like the white girl is an American and the Black guy is straight from some sub-sahara African country? And plus this black guy is educated meaning that he is not low class, as long as both parties are educated and doing something with their life, that’s all that matters. I would rather have my daughter date an educated non-white rather than an uneducated low class white. Obviously, the dad is low class and uneducated…. Must be a truck driver, construction worker, or ditch digger.

    Plus I think it’s so stupid to try to always get parents/family/ or friends involved with who you date, marry, or sleep with. Learn how to be independent and not worry what society says or thinks. If you worry so much about what your family or friends think, then you are a slave!! I’m afraid to say and not only that… if your parents or friends can not accept who you date, marry, or get involved with… then they do not really love nor care for you. I will still love my daughter regardless of who she dates or gets involved with. Whatever makes her happy is fine with me!

    I believe that many times it is more of a skin tone/skin color issue rather than a race issue, because lets look at this everyone is mixed up to a certain extent; even Ashley (author of this post) claims that she is half Mexican (nothing wrong with that). Humans have been mixing for thousands of years. “White skin” is just a political construct because after all what is white? Many blacks, Asians, Mexicans, mixed races, and so on have white, light skin color and even many minorities are much fairer than whites and then we try to say Caucasians… but then again remember many middle easterns,/western northern Asians, mediterrieans, Northern Africans, and South Americans are also “Caucasian” as well.
    Caucasian just does not pertain to White Europeans(This is a stereotype in American society), Caucasian has to do with bone structure, skull shape, nothing to do with eye,hair, or skin color (eye,hair, and skin color are more because environmental/climate/geographical factors). Now as far as the skin color issue, it’s always amazing how nonwhites with light/fair skin is always accepted and welcomed/integrated into white communities or have blunt permission to hang around, date, marry, and associate with whites; but if there is a nonwhite who is dark skin ; then these are the types that are discriminated against and not accepted. It’s a skin color issue because even dark skinned Caucasians face racism and discrimination in America, because there was this genetic study done several years ago talking about how most White Europeans were genetically racist and had this type of magnetic attraction to prefer

    light/fairer skin because they believed it made a person look healthier or better looking to the senses and dark skin was seen as dirty,nasty and did not really appeal to Europeans eyes. Because White Europeans looked at the world through a different set of lens compared to every other race. And tended to have a more isolated paradigm observation say compared to a Mixed race.

    Anyways I think the real issue we need to address is the class issue. If a black man is educated and can be a provider, there should be no objection to him dating a white woman. I think we need to focus on the issue of low class poor whites and their self entitlement complex…. I would never want to date or get involved with a low class poor white.

    • Bunch of white guilt liberal nonsense

      Since when do parents have to approve of whatever their child does? The father strongly disagrees with it and has no interest in supporting or rewarding her choice. Deal with it

      Throughout your essay you paint a picture of whites as ultra racists, when actually people who aren’t ignorant (as in have extensive experience with blacks) know the black race is the most racist there is, which even many of them will admit.

      Calling families hesitant, uneducated, and low class for disapproving of interracial dating. Wow you’re a trip buddy. Have you seen the girls who engage in it? Now that’s low class. As disgusting as I find it I usually end up feeling sorry for the black guy because the white girl is so worthless.

  26. I’m not interested in what happened 100’s of years ago. I am not nieve enough to think the racial wars over the years have been one sided. In my humble time on this planet I have my OWN experiences to draw from- when you can say the same then you bother to have an opinion. You call me racist but the fact you are in this interracial relationship indicates to me you are racist against your own people. Dating outside your race doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you weak and smacks of an identity crisis. I pray you find your way.

    • Do you read the type of squader that you type? Or do you actually think this way? “Weak”? Seriously? Dude if anything they’re pretty strong if they have pompous idiots like you to put up with every day.

  27. Your dad is right, culturally and physically and mentally, there are measurable differences and between races. Even Lincoln knew this, he tried to set up other colonies for the slaves after he freed them, he didn’t want to live with them.

    It’s especially obvious with Africans, whereas other groups and sub-groups of racial demographics can integrate and form some sort of cohesive, symbiotic and functional society. We see time and time again that Africans simply can’t, sure this Aaron guy might has been an exception to the (well earned) negative stereotypes, but I doubt it and it really sets a bad example. The statistics are what they are, you can’t really argue with numbers. Crime, corruption, economic growth and activity, IQ, scientific output per capita, and so on, all get affected negatively by black demographics.

    We have so many examples of this on every level, from neighbourhoods to towns to cities to countries. Same thing every time. I think we should treat people as individuals, a black guy completely removed from black culture can achieve just as well as any other person in every field, but African communities destroy societal infrastructure that buckles under their weight with their culture of crime and underachieving and professional victim hood.

    Detroit, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Chicago. And that’s just places in America that are in a state of decay that just so happens to correlate with the proportion of blacks to other racial groups. From an anthropological stand point take Greece, used to be blonde hair blue eyes as the norm. Was the birthplace of democracy , Aristotle, Archimedes, Pythagoras, Alexander the Great………. the list is almost inexhaustible. Mixed their race with Africans, blonde hair blue eyes changed to Olive skin-dark hair-brown eyes and the innovative place that was a hive of new ideas and discovery turned into a failed state.
    Ask any geneticist or physician or anthropologist you trust to give you an honest answer, it’s a taboo subject to speak up about it and many have lost their jobs for going on the record. Africans are really that different from us.

  28. Your dad’s racism doesn’t surprise me. I am from rural AZ and men like him are very common at the copper mines, construction sites, etc. Many of the small towns in AZ are predominantly white or Mexican, and there are very few African Americans. Needless to say, in sporting events for AZ high schools closer to Phoenix experience high racial tension when the teams involve (1) a mostly black school and (2) a white/Mexican town from the more rural area. There were lots of guys like your dad on my football team and wrestling team. They hated African Americans. As for me, I am Native American.

    You learned a lot about racism in this experience. However, you did miss one area that I couldn’t help but notice. Your black boyfriend most likely was rejecting much darker black women to be with you. Colorism is common among minority men who reject their own kind to be with white women. For example, Tiger Woods has an absolute preference for blonde white women with blue eyes most of the time. Occasionally, he dates white brunettes. Meanwhile, he rejects much darker black women who look like the women from the Supremes from the 1960s or Janet Jackson.

    It seems that many white women who date black men are unaware of the colorism that is happening. The black men are often rejecting their own kind because they believe white women are prettier than black women. It becomes reverse racism – colorism where minorities discriminate against each other. This pattern is not unique to African Americans. It is very common in Mexico and a basis for the Colonial Spanish Casta based on skin color – the lighter the skin the higher up the caste.

    So the racism did not just involve your dad. Your ex was also a willing participant in my opinion. You probably just weren’t aware of it with all this fixation on your dad’s outburst. But I am acutely aware of it. I once overheard a very dark black bodybuilder in a FL gym that he “doesn’t like black women.” He made it clear he preferred white women – particularly blonde college girls from FSU. He pursued them with a passion while ignoring very dark black women close by. The guy was an example of colorism.

    So the minority guy in this situation may not be innocent either. But neither is your dad.

  29. The liberal media and schools brainwash white girls from the time they can crawl to the TV with endless hyping of black guys. The reality is often different: white girls get beaten, become drug users, get infected with AIDS, and get abandoned with kids and go on welfare. The lifetime goal of every black guy is snagging that white pussy, and the way has been made easy for them by the endless brainwashing. But white fathers don’t buy into it. It’s stunning that the author would have any doubt as to which to choose – the father who raised and protected her, or the black out to score some easy white pussy. But her father is well rid of her. Hopefully she won’t now inflict herself on any unsuspecting white guy.

    • Brandon Marks says:

      I’ve tried refrain from commenting further on this because it won’t change anyone’s mind, but I can’t help myself on this one. This has got to be the stupidest comments I’ve seen in a while. Generalizing a group ppl with these sterotypes makes you look uneducated and extremely idiotic. Ole well I gotta go.. I have to go brat my white wife.. but first I have to go do some drugs.. hahahaha

      • You have no facts and no arguments – you’re afraid to engage in actual debate, and substitute ad hominem attacks. Goodbye gutless one. ROFL

  30. So many of white girls call african men “chocolate” that is a disgusting racial term that they use for the men that they do not truly respect. I have met interracial women who would have been so much better off if they had been white. We all know it. Race doesn’t exist? Ask a black women. You selfishly take their men and they are left alone. You are tired of being perfect and so you flush your heritage down the toilet so that you can finally experience rejection and prejudice yourself, like its a privilege, and then your children, especially your daughters suffer for it. I have read stories of bi racial girls coming home and crying about having no identity and no belonging and their privileged white mothers who will never know how it feels to be non-white tell them that it doesn’t matter. Race does exist. Listen to Muhammed Ali. God did not make a mistake. Of course many of these men are well behaved, they know what they are getting away with, they know they are getting into a better people and society. The white man gave the world everything, I am an artist and am dedicated to our survival and legacy which will never be forgotten and one day you ignorant women will know that you are wrong. That is why so many of you choose to do this right in front of us, so you can have your cake and eat it too. I do not hate, and if you say so it is only because I’m a white hetero sexual male, we are more hated than anyone. You are prejudiced. I am entirely Irish descent, we were the original slaves and were often treated worse than blacks as well as being more taken advantage of by the English than anywhere else in the empire. We were the only whites in modern times to ever starve, I do not want to see my people suffer anymore. These men rejected there own people and unless they have truly learned to believe their own lie they will know in their mind as well as their heart that what they did was wrong and that they are only with you because you are white. We will never accept anything but truth. I look at your selfish and self destructive ignorance which is quite similar to the ignorance of women who are with abusive men with nothing less than diamond determination of the white man who civilized the whole world. Any other man may have just destroyed it. I love you all but multiculturalism is a lie. Black men know that they are abandoning their own people and they do not care. And I love even them too. Christ says to love your enemies, and through him all things are possible. Goodbye from the man who alone knows what it means to stand strong facing the whole world. Peace and survival. Everyone respect each other and love your people. I lived in Arizona a long time and the Native who stated the issue of colorist was quite right, some blacks are racist against there own women. In New Orleans and in Austin I met immigrants who would not settle for anything less than white. All of the arguments from Brandon Marks were unfounded because I’m sure even if he refuses to believe it he knows its true. Only we create these beautiful women, he can only destroy them forever except in very rare cases where recessive genes cause the child to be born with Caucasian traits but this is far more likely in unions where the male is white and the female is Latino, not black whom may have already had some white admixture to contribute which is why this women turned out white. I do not believe in evolution as I am a Christian, yet if you do and think we all come from blacks then it is logical by that theory to resolve that Africans are the most primitive and least evolved race. Yes the white genes are weak when mixed but when white societies are left homogenous and unmolested they always flourish. The Bible never permits miscegenation and God himself separated us and made us the way we are. Perhaps its all signs of the end times. The New World Order wants a compromised people with the new global culture as their only heritage. We were the example and led the way. It really is fact. I believe that all people if they love their race will not be insecure in the face of the White race’s existence and yet this seems to be the case as many believe we are the race problem but where would the world be without the white man. Brandon I won’t judge you, perhaps your decision did not involve your wife’s beautiful skin and features that her ancestors gave her, but my experience and very many others of all peoples shows that often especially in today’s society of media and government promotion a lot of these individuals are choosing to do this just because of the race of color and not because they just happened to love the person.

  31. Your dad was kind of a dick, but in the end he was right. As soon as there was an out, your boyfriend took it. Even as you were begging him to work it out, even as your Dad removed himself from your life(The racist is gone, you and the BF are free to live as you please without intervention from Dad), he decided he’d rather split.
    Thank god you didn’t have kids with this guy before he left you. I don’t know, maybe he was truly destroyed by this, but being the same gender as him, it’s MUCH more likely he was just tired of you and wanted a guilt free reason to leave. Then you displaced all your anger and disappointment on your Dad.
    Hell, if I met a girl I liked as much as you said, and her Dad hated me that much, I wouldn’t leave her. Hell, I’d be happy he was out of the way.

    • Man, lot of racists in this thread.

      This story made me terribly sad. The part about demanding a contract to never date a black person was awful. I’m sorry you went through that. I’m mixed, so glad my family didn’t have to go through this stuff. I don’t know what to say, except it seems you care and are willing to make a lot more effort to reconcile than he is.

  32. People have choices. While I don’t really care who you date because I am not attracted to you. It should be known that the majority of men out there will not date a woman who has dated a black guy, not invest in a relationship with a woman who has.

    Just like women have choices that men shouldn’t judge, men have choices that woman shouldn’t judge.

    I doubt a man would judge you about it. I just think he’ll say something like “I don’t care who you dated, it just doesn’t work for me that’s all, good luck in the future and I’m sure the right guy is out there for you.

  33. You are 28, make up your own damn mind instead of trying to kiss your dads ass.
    Why did Aaron leave you after your dad came clean about his thoughts on your relationship and why did them affect Aaron the way they did?

    From this context it seems to me like Aaron was a golddigger and/or a generic bro just trying to “get-some”, your dad saw through him and called him out.

    This is a poorly written article that needs a lot more editing if some kind of properly structured idea is to emerge from it.

    Elaborate on some of the “comments” you have made, such as “a few hours of intense conversation”, what was it all about?

    Aaron wanted support? From who/what?`Welfare, your dads wallet, what?

    I am interested in knowing more, and you are indeed very naive regarding our ever lasting racial segregation, truth be told, blacks take great pride in being black, yet nobody calls them on it.

    I for one, think that your dad did only what he thought was right which is all a human can do, you do what you think is right regardless of your family, they do not define or require you in any way.

    Kind regards,

    • Are you kidding?? >>>OBVIOUSLY<<< the black guy wanted to "get some". This woman is one of countless lower intelligence white females who have been brainwashed since they could crawl to the TV, which endlessly hypes black guys. The black guys are happy to take advantage of it, using naïve women like this and then dumping them like yesterday's trash and moving on to the next idiot. Also YOU are an idiot for suggesting she just throw away a relationship that has lasted all her life just so she can let herself be used by someone to whom she is just another piece of ass.

  34. This woman is gross.

  35. I’m going through the same thing, so I can totally relate. Me and my bf(half black half white) has been together over 4 years, and we want to get married next year. My parents lost it when I told them about it just because he looks black though they both know he is a good man. It’s really hard, my dad wants to disown me… but I won’t give up.

    I’ve always wanted to have a happy family. My parents are same race but their marriage is a mess. I’ve seen my dad beat my mom…he also cheated on my mom several times and still cheating.
    I believe if you love a person enough, you won’t see his/her color…you will only see the person. After all, we all have same color of blood.

    Thank you for writing this Ashely. You are beautiful and have a beautiful mind…I wish you all the best and have a happy life.

  36. James Burrough says:

    I stumbled onto your story and have to say that I agree with you in ways but also agree with your father. I work at a well known bank and know three women that are married to black men. Let me tell you that one of them has come to work with bruises and once a black eye. The other two are controlled and have to live their lives how their husbands want them to. Examples I’ve heard from them: Cant listen to music they want to. Have to constantly listen to racist banter, “White this and White that”. I know everyone deserves a chance and is different but in my experience, blacks are nice people until you come to a disagreement. Then, it’s either you agree with them or they turn condescending and mean.
    I was at a Chevron gas station last month waiting in line to purchase. There was a black woman in front of me in line waiting to pay for a huge pile of junk food(Twinkies, Skittles, etc.). She was in her Post Office uniform, probably on lunch. She was going on and on about how she just got back from a week in Jamaica and how much money she can make a the Post Office. It got time for her to pay and the black woman looks at the Chevron worker and says “Do you take EBT?”. Totally blew me away. I looked around and people in line were shaking their heads. Her junk food came to almost $25. I paid for my stuff and walked outside. I saw her pumping has into her USPS mail truck. I had to ask. “Excuse me, how do you work full-time and still get EBT?”. She looks at me and says while laughing “Oh my friend works at the Welfare Office and hooked me and all our friends and family up”. So there you go. That is the difference between white and black people. Blacks feel they are owed by everyone and their dog. They use the race card to advance even though they know it’s wrong. They put every failure and their laziness on yes, WHITE’S. When in into the Post Office, sometimes I just stand here for a while and just watch. It’s sickening.

  37. Hey Ashley! Whether you stayed with your man ( Aaron ) or agreed to your dad’s conditions is irrelevant here. The important is YOU – your goals , your happiness. You are very beautiful and for sure you will find a man ( no matter the race ). In order to be happy you need to be Proactive ( make decisions which are correct to YOUR TRUE PRINCIPLES and VALUES , rather than being reactive and letting the social environment dictate your life ).
    As for what really happened to you there –
    1. Your dad’s reaction was wrong , but you have to understand him ( don’t need to agree with him ) about how much he treasures you and his concerns about interracial relationships. His reaction was wrong, but his intentions were good.
    2. The outcome of your relationship with Aaron – well, if a man truly loves you, he will fight for you to death and never leave like that. “I wouldn’t like to put up with any of that” was that his response ? – you should be happy you got rid of such a weak man.
    I WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS ! BE STRONG , and remember “They cannot take our freedom, unless we chose to give it to them.”

  38. I don’t know where You people get off on insulting southern whites. I live in Louisiana which is 32% black and We all get along just fine. Every day that I leave My house I have to deal with other races. We all get along down here and I treat everyone like I want to be treated. As far as I can tell You We are just like You except WE — USE MANNERS so stop calling us racists and sexual deviants.

  39. Would you date a white guy now?

  40. I think Ashley overestimated how important she was to her ex-boyfriend and father.

    If Aaron really cared about her, he would have stuck around. It sounds like a convenient excuse to get out of the relationship (Us guys do, do this).

    If her dad really cared about her, he wouldn’t cut her out of his life for any reason. In the end, it’s his loss.

  41. It’s absurd how some on here can just say the most ridiculous words and spew hatred and foolery.
    Blacks are monkeys? lol
    In fact, according to studies done by your own, blacks are the only people who’s blood and DNA do not include monkey/Neanderthal DNA. whites have a minimum of 3% monkey/Neanderthal DNA lol.

    To the guys who said black never built an advanced society.
    Does Egypt/Khemet not count? That’s pretty advanced if you ask me considering his “high IQ” white guys still cannot remake the Pyramis or Sphinx with the equal proportions and accuracy TODAY with their “advanced societies” lol.
    How about the fact that the people you praise like Plato, Aristotle and Alexander the Great went to Egypt to LEARN EVERYTHING THEY KNEW FROM BLACKS. And the monuments built by people of color are still intact but the Greek monuments again, built by “civilized advanced white men” are already falling apart and they aren’t even a fraction of the age of monuments built by blacks. Everywhere the European (Oh btw Europa is the name of a BLACK woman/goddess. Look it up loser) has gone has been followed by violence and destruction. Wars, bio warfare, mass shootings, bombings (name 5 committed by blacks)
    Let’s see, we have Egypt, black Wall Street in Tulsa OK, which was destroyed by jealous white men.

    Not to mention he’s labeling us and uncivilized yet it was black people (The Moors) who took Europe (the name of a black woman/goddess) out of the dark ages and taught them how to read, write and wash.

    And who said white people are more beautiful and fitting? Because according to nature (the only true God on earth) everyone with color and melanin are more fitting lol. Hence the reason we don’t need “advanced” creations like sun screen lol.
    We can create a black person but mixing with any race of person. ANY
    People of color can create a person of ANY color even white.
    White people cannot do that lol, but blacks are allegedly inferior
    We can turn the entire world black by mixing with other races of women.
    Ironic that the darkest and lightest man on the planet are BOTH black lol.

    No matter who we conceive with, the kid will look more black than anything else. That’s UNIVERSAL LAW not man made rule my friend.
    Every thing in nature says that people of color are far more suitable and sustainable for life anywhere! That can’t be said about those who lack color lol. But continue to spew your non factual, baseless hatred. I will stick to facts that’s my forte.
    Everything in nature with color continues to live on but those without color such as white whales and animals born without pigment must be captured and protected and are viewed as defective!
    People of color are less susceptible to natural illness and diseases. And ironically more susceptible to MAN MADE illnesses such as HIV/AIDS

    Let me end my rant by saying this…
    Ashley, please feel free to date who you chose regardless of race, background, or color. There are good and bad people that come from all walks of life and all colors.
    You lead a much different life than that of your parents, forefathers, and friends.
    Your happiness is what really matters and those who don’t understand that’s their fault. You deserve to be happy and with someone who supports that unconditionally. Be you and respect your own judgement. Because I’m sure if it were a Mexican guy and he treated you badly people would probably be okay with it because he’s not black.
    Do as you please dear, it is your life and no one else’s. Think of the bigger problems we’d have in this world if every just blindly followed behind what others did simply because they share a complexion or racial background

    If anyone else on here needs to hear more FACTS and TRUTH with evidence to back it up contact me. Lol

  42. Ashely,

    I know you don’t know me from any of the other guys on here but I’d like to impart the one thing that defined my parent’s marriage and my life which is that love is blind. I’m the product of an interracial relationship, in which my mother’s family “disowned” her after they found out my father was black. Although her father and her never fully reconciled until he was near passing, she remained steadfast in her convictions that she was marrying out of love. And they were together until the day he passed (after 28 years of marriage). My brothers and I all grew up, all became Dr.’s, and are a testament that if you believe in love — the rest will take care of itself…smile

    Take care and believe in love…life is so short. Spend it being happy and in love…

  43. Make your own money. It’s your life. I don’t care about being in my parents will. If I did I should make them happy its their money. You shouldn’t care about inheritance. Nor acceptance. Your life your choice.

    I’m not bigoted. I dated Asian girls, my younger brother married a black girl. Proof my conservative family is tolerant

  44. Billy Bastion says:

    Looks like your blog got linked in Stormfront.

  45. Papa New Guinea says:

    Dear Lady,

    Sorry, but your dad is a racist. Cut your losses and move on. He married a Mexican woman, but discriminates against other groups of people…You’re a grown woman. And Billy Bastion is right, this blog was linked to that “wacko” Stormfront site; so consider that many of these negative responses are from crazy white nationalists who worship Hitler.

  46. Your father loves you very much and has done a very noble thing. He wants nothing but the best for you. I hope you repair your relationship with him and can understand his concerns.

  47. My girlfriend’s mother still refers to me as her favorite little Jew boy and her father seems to believe a lot of stereotypes about us as well. My parents being millionaires probably doesn’t help the perception. I think the biggest shocker for them was my father being dark skinned. We have some Sephardic in us or something. It’s an unknown, but I’m a redhead so I’m only slightly darker than her family. They are around 25 percent native American on both sides. Technically I’m only half Jewish anyway, but the stuff they say and believe. I don’t even know how to respond most of the time. I used to think they were f-cking with me.

  48. Rupert i can’t agree more with your statement.

  49. The US sure sounds like a shitty conservative place TBH. Something like this is almost unheard of in the netherlands. But the level of education is much higher here so that could explain it. Americans are pretty dumb and ignorant compared to the amount of wealth they have, and the dumber you are, the more likely you are racist too. Whenever i meet a racist in my country he is either very young or very stupid 99,9% of the time.

    • Lol, I lived in netherlands for a few years. I found that the people on the netherlands were racist to a degree, especially with the muslim community. Some of the things I heard were much worse than anything I’ve heard in the states although I believe or hope something was lost in translation. Anyhow this problem is not just an american one.

  50. After reading the comments I don’t know how to feel.. Most people on here hate black men. I mean especially when it comes to women. When I’m walking alone in a mall, store ect.. people mind their own business but if i happen have a white girl I turn heads like a traffic accidents. Probably the reason I don’t date white women very much anymore there’s too much hateful ,fierce,desperate energy coming from white men so I said ‘forget it you can have em”. Whats funny and what people don’t know about is i get hit on by white women all the time; some stare, some come right up to talk to me.. I’m tall, muscular, educated and played sports all my life. My first love who I was with for 7 years in my 20s was a white girl and I was only partial excepted by her father because I was in college and wasn’t a thug. She eventually gave in to society and married a white man the same age as her father.

    I must tell you being a black man is a very hard thing especially when it comes to corporate work life and women. Another thing is white women and black men have a lustful attraction that no other pair has but it usually never works out because life with a black man can be stressful because of societal resistance against the relationship. It’s very hard to get home loans, get pulled over all the time by police, get harassing stares by random whites, horrible service sometimes from businesses. Most of the time I had to hide my white GF if I wanted something/service from society. Now I’m dating a Iranian girl and I have far less problems and learning a second language from her… I think I’m going to stick with colored women it makes life A LOT easier.

    • You know it amazes me about these Racist White People… ESPECIALLY White Males. White Men date IR, far more than White Women, but that shit seems to be acceptable. God forbid a White Woman should date a NON White Man, these White Men have outburst hypocrisy anyone?

      Hey Ashley I am also mixed and I am sorry for your experience. Your dad sounds like a racist prick and on top of that he is a HYPOCRITE. He seems to have the mindset so many White Males have…”White Men can date IR, but White Women should not date any man other than White” He really has his nerve since he was with a MEXICAN WOMAN. This double Standard disgusts me to know end. Live your life and do what makes YOU HAPPY. If your dad can’t see and respect that, then FUCK him as well and the other racist doucebag’s on here that support him.

  51. Ashley im a black male. This truly has helped me to become a better father. Continue to pray for your fathers salvation and relationship with God. Your a loving person. You cant hate because i can tell you have the love of God in your. Your starting a new Generation of unconditional love in your family. You choose love! God is Love!

  52. You seem extremely level headed on this topic. I’m impressed. I wouldn’t say that anybody in your story is good or bad, just human with the prejudices that come along with being born at a time we did. The father disapproving of who the daughter is dating probably started with Adam and Eve. Interracial dating has a stigma that may in all actuality be rooted in something as simple as the father may see you dating somebody so much different than he sees himself and this is you actually rejected him. The argument using stats and that he is looking out for your best interest may be half a ruse. He has only seen life through his eyes and he probably thinks that because he loves you, the more the guy you date is like him, the more likely they will be to treat you right. Is that logical??? hell no but love and hate are not really dependant on logic. BTW I’m not making a judgement saying what you Dad believes is correct, just throwing our guesses of why he is doing what he did. I’m also extremely confused to how I ended up on making a comment.

  53. Pingback: My Dad Is Dating A Younger Woman – French Girls Cams Live

  54. blueharpstring#27 says:

    I guess I’m racist in my soul, I don’t know for sure. I do know this much, some of my best friends are black, I get along very well with everybody, and I enjoy seeing any color of people succeed in life. But when it comes to whites dating/marrying blacks, I cringe. I truly believe in equal in all aspects of life except for that particular situation. I’ve always felt this way and can’t seem to overcome it. Just being brutally truthful so let the name calling begin.

    • Most white people were raised like that, according to me that is not a problem. When you’re still under your parents roof. To me, the racist comments starts when you’re an adult and you can make your own decisions and you still cringe when you see black/white couple, even though it’s not you. Why do you care so much about it. If you’re like that, then yes you’re racist, because it’s none of your business what other people do with their lives. People have choices and they choose to do what makes them happy. If dating black man makes them happy then why do you care. If to you color surpasses everything then by all means you’re a racist.

    • Aria Wilson says:

      The first sentence in your comment was correct, you are a filthy racist in your soul.

  55. Im going through something very similar to what you went through except my parents are Albanian they have completely disowned me for wanting to be with someone I love so much that’s not Albanian reading your story really helped me thank you so much for posting this is its very inspirational I wish people would just love others and not see color we all bleed the same color❤️❤️

  56. The day my daughter informs me a black grandchild is on the way is the day I hang myself. However, the difference is she was informed as a teenager how her Father felt about what is and is not acceptable when it comes to the birds and the bees.

  57. The very simple concept of marriage is bringing two family together as one and producing a child.
    Why is it racist to want to see your grandkids looking similar to yourself and your daughter?
    I never see a half black kid that doesnt just look like a light skinned black kid. They will never look like you, and they will simply grownup ti be black.

  58. Ash,

    – Thanks for having the boundless courage and integrity required to share this story which sheds light on the subversive presence of hatred and denial still existing to this day.
    – I stumbled upon your post after reading an account written in 1994 by a University of Maryland student named Joshua Solomon after he darkened his skin and traveled to the deep South to gain insight into the legitimacy of his black friends’ presentments.
    – It is stupefying to know that sentiments this deep and which pertain to nothing other than race can remain unapparent for decades even among our closest bonds and still be logicized by countless as ‘not racist’.
    – Thanks again for being among the most intelligent. It is indisputable that endless chronicles exist relating to this mentality disorder surely having shattered many family ties and which still remain untold.

  59. I believe you’ve deliberately omitted information about “Aaron” from your story – as far as I can tell, your dad has married a hispanic woman and your brother also married someone who is not white, so why is your dad not accepting “Aaron”? there’s something else here, the data on black male/white woman relationships is horrendous – does “Aaron” have children with other white women? White female/black male relationships have a +76% greater probability of divorce – there are good black men out there, but they are very hard to find. If “Aaron” was well educated, with a good job, I would suspect your father would accept him – the fact of the matter is you’ve turned it into a race issue but there’s more to it, as your story does not add up.

    • Masters degree educated. Aerospace Management Role. Homeowner. This was not the issue. He had no children.

      • rogelio estrada says:

        I think ashley is lying here. Regardless of the fact, she has the right to date whoever she wants date
        Free world, free life

        • Aria Wilson says:

          Yeah, because there is no way a Black man can be all of that, right? It’s not like we have ever had a black supreme court justice, or president, or physicist, or Surgeon General, or Attorney General, or Secretary of State, or… Wait… We have had ALL those and more! Why do you assume she must be lying? Someone seems to be insecure that a black man has accomplished more then he has.

  60. It’s okay for her father to marry a Hispanic but it’s not okay for her to marry a black man. She’s not Caucasian because she’s not white, have you thought about all you people who are spweing hate. Her father is trying to force her to be white and she’s not. Same as the people who are busy commenting that she must marry in her race, what is her race?

    • Racismisstupid says:

      Good point

    • It depends in your definition of “hispanic”, they’re white too. Americans always confuse that term, your definition of hispanic is actually “mestizo”, that means mixed between an amerindian and a white. So I’m not sure if her mother is actually white (hispanic), or mixed (non-white).

  61. WE WUZ KANGZ says:

    Did you just attempt the WE WUZ KANGZ argument, and you expect me to take you seriously?

    No, Egypt did not count, does not count and never will count. Cry about it.
    Egyptians were Turkish and European with a bit of Caribbean, blacks are from the sub-saharan region, aka very far below Egypt and had nothing to do with the rise and fall of Egyptian civilization. Educate yourself and stop appropriating other races’ culture.

    I can’t be asked to read the rest of your mindless drivel after reading that garbage so you’ll just have to settle for this.

    • You would like to believe your own garbage. Blacks have proven to be greater than all races. Why else would everyone spend so much time and money trying to hide their achievements. Not to include in the past stealing their ideals and putting their names on it. For instance, Benjamin Franklin and Edison.

  62. I happened to me also long time ago , but in this case but in this case was it sas different , i fell in love with a black woman and her family dont aprove our relatioship, in the end we do not care what matters was what we felt, in the we separated but for others reason , for me i think your ex boyfriend did not fight for you , i’m hispanic and this stories happens all the times , sometimes in differents aspects but at the end same thing.

  63. I alwats come back and read this article every few months lol

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