Before You Dis Slutty Halloween Costumes, You MUST Read This…


An open letter to the boys and girls who shame women for dressing sexy on Halloween…

We get it: you want to let the world know that you think girls dressing up as ‘sluts and skanks’ on Halloween is played out and ridiculous. But, do you want to know what else is ridiculous? You. Yes, you have become worse than the actual scantily clad nurses and cops.

We live in a strange society that says it wants its women to be sexy and smart but not too sexy and not too smart – balance. And so on Halloween – where men go unchecked in their secret desires to be superheroes and villains and get to run around dressed as Superman, Batman and (insert character) from overly quoted comedy of the time – we bash women for running around as a sexy version of a professional. Think about it. Women are told to become doctors, lawyers, cops, politicians and teachers. It is also made perfectly clear that women are to be sexy. So, it seems pretty natural to me that women dress up like a hybrid for Halloween.

We created the world in which these half naked girls run rampant in. Yet, instead of looking at ourselves we do the easy thing; we write witty little posts about how obnoxious it is these girls will once again disappoint us by dressing as the sexy park ranger.

And let us not forget about what the men are doing on this night. They dress up like superheroes (fantasy) and deranged maniacs (reality) and we allow it. Not to mention that those tights and body suits they wear can sometimes be more revealing than the sexy doctor or slutty politician. These men run around the city, simultaneously hitting on the skanky cop, and the girl in the oversized cow costume ‘who is glad she’s comfortable and not like one of those skanks that needs to dress sexy.’

Sexy halloween

Oh sweeties, don’t you see what’s happened? Men have turned the women against each other. Again. It’s so bad that women whom profess to be feminists come out against sexy costumed women. There is no need for it and it must stop. Women must stop shaming each other and start fighting the true enemy!

And just who is our true enemy? The guy dressed as Miley Cyrus’ Foam Finger. The guy dressed as Anthony Weiner’s cell phone. No doubt there will be a dick pic with his head as the focus. The lame guy who is probably going as Ariel Castro. He’ll probably have three guys dressed as the Ohio three surrounding him. He’ll think he’s absolutely cutting edge and hilarious.

Can’t we start shaming these assholes?

Let us all stop spending energy trying to make women feel bad. We are already so insecure and hard on ourselves.

My advice? If you want to dress like a sexy cop do it. Oversize cow costume? Do it! But if the guy in the Big Bird costume comes up to you at a party and wants to hit on you with the line ‘I respect that you wore something comfortable and cute and didn’t try to be all sexy and stuff’ – please know that he probably just tried to bang Malibu Barbie in the bathroom, and tell him to Fuck off and please go make friends with Malibu Barbie. She’s probably really cool. And if she’s not, she’s still cooler than the douche that thinks dressing up as Big Bird is somehow unique or clever.


LaTisha Conto is a native of Los Angeles. She is a writer and filmmaker. You can read and watch all that she creates at She has three cats. Yes, this is what the crazy cat lady looks like when she’s a young woman. You can also follow her on Twitter.

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