By Sonia Gupta
Divorce is more than a legal dissolution of a marriage—it’s a profound shift that can leave you feeling uprooted, vulnerable, and uncertain. In my case, it wasn’t just about the end of a relationship; it was a battle to reclaim myself. It was a decision that defied societal expectations, navigated deep emotional turmoil, and ultimately led to my transformation from pain to power. Today, I want to share my story with you, not just to tell you how I survived but how I rose—stronger and more empowered than ever before.
Overcoming Societal Stigma and Personal Pain
In my South Asian community, marriage is seen as an unbreakable bond. Staying together, even if it means enduring years of unhappiness, is often portrayed as a virtue. Women, especially, are expected to sacrifice their own well-being for the sake of their family. I wrestled with this expectation for years. I convinced myself that it was my duty to stay, to endure. But deep down, I was withering.
The pressure to maintain the façade of a “perfect family” was relentless. When I finally made the decision to leave, it felt like I was walking into a storm. My parents couldn’t understand why I would choose a path that went against everything they had taught me. “What about the children?” they would ask, their voices filled with disappointment. I could feel the weight of their judgment pressing down on me. In situations where families separate, concerns often extend beyond the immediate parents, with grandparents sometimes needing to explore their legal options regarding grandparent rights to maintain a relationship with their grandchildren.
But I had to be honest with myself. Staying in a marriage that drained my spirit was not the example I wanted to set for my children. I realized that by leaving, I was teaching them a far more important lesson—self-respect and the courage to choose happiness over societal expectations.
The disapproval from my family and community was painful, but even more agonizing was the internal struggle. Guilt weighed on me heavily, especially as a mother. Was I being selfish? Was I damaging my children? But through deep reflection, I came to understand that living authentically—however painful the process—was the only way to protect not just myself, but my children as well.
Rebuilding: A Path to Self-Empowerment
Divorce is messy, painful, and emotionally draining. At one point, my ex-husband and I were still living under the same roof during the divorce proceedings, a situation that tested every ounce of my strength. I would come home after long days and feel like a ghost, moving through the house in silence, barely holding myself together.
But in that chaos, a small flame of resilience started to grow. I began thinking about my future. I had put my career on hold for years, but I decided it was time to rebuild—not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually. I needed to rediscover who I was outside of the roles I had played as a wife and mother.
Re-entering the workforce wasn’t just about independence; it was about reclaiming my identity. As I began to thrive in my career, I found myself feeling stronger than I had in years. I was rebuilding a life that was mine, not dictated by societal norms or someone else’s expectations. I proved to myself that I could rise from the ashes of my past and emerge as a stronger, more determined version of myself.
Breaking Barriers: From Divorce Party to Global Inspiration
One of the most pivotal moments in my journey was celebrating my divorce with a party. To many, the idea seemed absurd—how could someone celebrate something as devastating as the end of a marriage? But for me, it wasn’t about celebrating the loss of a relationship. It was about celebrating my freedom. It was about standing tall, shedding the weight of judgment, and boldly proclaiming that I was ready to start a new chapter.
The party became a viral sensation, igniting a conversation about the stigma surrounding divorce, especially for women. It wasn’t just about the party—it was about giving women permission to embrace their strength, to redefine their lives, and to know that life after divorce can be full of joy and possibility. The attention shocked my family, but it also inspired women across the globe who had silently suffered under the weight of similar cultural expectations.
Navigating the Loneliness and Guilt of Freedom
What many people don’t see when they think of divorce is the profound loneliness that often accompanies it. For years, I had felt isolated in my marriage, trapped in a partnership where I was emotionally abandoned. There were countless nights I cried myself to sleep, feeling unseen and unheard.
But nothing prepared me for the sharp loneliness I felt in the aftermath. I remember one Christmas vividly. My children were with their father, my parents were away, and I woke up in an empty house. I sat on the couch, surrounded by silence, and cried so hard that I could barely breathe. Even when I spent time with friends that day, all I wanted was to go home and cry by myself.
New Year’s Eve that same year was equally gut-wrenching. Surrounded by laughter and joy, I was crumbling inside. I spoke to my son on the phone at midnight, barely able to keep it together until the call ended. When it did, I broke down completely, overwhelmed by the reality of my new life.
Yet, those moments of raw emotion marked the start of my healing. I had to face my loneliness head-on. There was no way around it. Years later, I’ve learned to appreciate my own company and value my independence. I still get asked if I’m dating or if I want to meet someone. The answer is yes, but I’ve come to realize that I’d rather be single and happy than in a relationship that erodes my spirit.
Rediscovering Myself and Inspiring Others
Through the process of rebuilding, I discovered something profound: I wasn’t just surviving—I was thriving. I found strength in vulnerability, in acknowledging my pain, and in daring to create a life on my terms. I began attending networking events, meeting other women who were forging their own paths, and eventually stepping into the role of a relationship and divorce mentor.
Today, my mission is clear. I want to ensure that no one else has to go through the loneliness and guilt that I faced. If my story can change the narrative for even one woman, if I can help her challenge the stigma around divorce, then my journey will have been worth it.
Lessons from My Journey
My story offers several key takeaways for anyone facing divorce or life-altering transitions:
- Prioritize Your Well-Being: You are worthy of happiness. Staying in an unhealthy relationship does more damage to you—and your children—than leaving ever will.
- Challenge Societal Expectations: Societal norms shouldn’t dictate your happiness. Break free from them, and in doing so, you’ll inspire others to do the same.
- Rebuild with Intention: Divorce is not an ending. It’s an opportunity to rebuild, to seize new opportunities, and to rediscover who you are.
- Celebrate Your Wins: Embrace your milestones, however unconventional they may be. My divorce party was about reclaiming my joy—and you have the right to celebrate your freedom, too.
- Find Your Tribe: Surround yourself with people who lift you up. A supportive community can make all the difference in your journey to healing.
Embrace New Beginnings
Today, I stand as a woman who has faced profound challenges and come out stronger on the other side. Divorce didn’t break me—it transformed me. It gave me the opportunity to rebuild my life, reclaim my voice, and find a sense of purpose that I hadn’t known before.
If you are going through a difficult time, know this: your story is still being written. You have the power to reclaim your life, to rise from the ashes, and to thrive. Visit [itsasonithing.com](http://www.itsasonithing.com) to learn more about my journey and how I help others navigate theirs. Your voice matters. It’s time to reclaim it and live life on your own terms.
Sonia Gupta is a relationship and divorce mentor, speaker, and advocate for women’s empowerment. After overcoming the challenges of divorce and societal judgment, she has dedicated her life to helping others navigate similar transitions with strength and resilience. Through her platform, itsasoniathing.com, Sonia shares her powerful story of transformation, inspiring women worldwide to reclaim their voices, break free from societal expectations, and embrace new beginnings. You can follow Sonia on Instagram.
