“Get Your Sh$T Together!” An Open Letter To Amanda Bynes

amanda-bynes-weird

By Cami Julaine

Dear Amanda,

I would start this letter off asking how you’re doing, but I think that’s the problem. You don’t know how you’re feeling or even how to handle those feelings, and that’s why things are chaotic.

I remember vividly sitting in my room watching “The Amanda Show” when I was 5, and thinking “I want to be just like her.” Your personality has always had a certain spark that no one else could obtain… My admiration for you followed when “What I like about you” premiered- as I was entering my teenage years.  And of course, who could ever forget “What a girl wants” and “She’s the man”?! Look at these incredible things you’ve accomplished in your life… and those are just a few! Your bubbly laugh was rampant as your vibrant personality made everyone giggle. Your bright smile gleamed as if your laugh was contagious. You were happy. You were healthy.

I’ve been through more than what the average 18 year old has been through. From having it “all” to losing it within a year, from hospitals and rehab to losing my desire and passion in life, to not caring about anything at all, to even destroying relationships and feeling so abandoned, like NO ONE understood what I was going through. And of course, I justified every action I made… “I’m not crazy, I’m not addicted. I can stop when I want. Tomorrow is a new day” and the phrases go on and on. But the truth is, I know exactly how you feel. Actually, to be completely honest you probably aren’t feeling your feelings, because that’s too hard. You’re numb because that is what’s comfortable to you.

amanda bynes          Amanda-Bynes-

You’re famous. And whether you like it or not, you make an impact on other people… especially the younger generation. That comes with your job. Why on earth, would you EVER promote being skinny and dropping to 100 lbs? You’ve spoken out about your eating disorder before. Why would you glamorize your disease? Any type of eating disorder is not a fashion statement. And neither is plastic surgery. Amanda, you are naturally beautiful. You do not need surgery, starvation, or drugs to prove that. All of those things that we use to make ourselves better are coping mechanisms. They are something we use to feel ACCEPTED. Which leads me to believe that you are desperate for acceptance and love.

People react to your news stories and all the drama on twitter. Some love you for it, and some hate it. None of that matters. What matters is that you get help and realize that you can’t control what people think about you. You have too much going for you to give up now. You still have the chance to change the direction your life is going… and even though it won’t be easy, you’ll find genuine friends and you will be an authentic woman who has a story to share… and YOU will save someone else’s life.. You always tweet about finding love, and being in love. Well I have news for you, we attract our significant others by where we are mentally. Also, we accept the love we THINK we deserve.

A lot of people say “Rock bottom is where I built my solid foundation”, and the truth is, you can choose how high or how low you want your bottom to be. Find true happiness. As cheesy as it may sound, put your hand over your heart and close your eyes. Your heart is beating. You still have a purpose to fulfill. You can do this.

I will not sit here and co-sign your bullshit, because I know that you are better than this, I believe in you. All my love and concern, Cami

 

 

18 year old Cami Julaine is a singer, actress, model, and healthy life advocate for teen girls. She grew up in Los Angeles and has a remarkable inspirational story. Both her parents were diagnosed with cancer within two weeks of each other, which triggered multiple eating disorders. She left school and spent a year in treatment in Orange County.
Thanks to her recovery, she is able to share what it means to live a healthy life, and identify dangerous behaviors and patterns in other teen girls. Her goal is to use her trials and triumphs as a way to help others. She has a unique spark of energy, and wants every girl to know they are capable of anything, no matter what bumps are along the way in life. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

 

Cami Julaine

 

11 Comments

  1. Wow! Beautifully said with compassion, hope and understanding.

  2. The issues she’s having are a lot more serious than a petty eating disorder and her public image. The girl is clearly schizophrenic, and being a person that has multiple family members with this disorder knows that they can stay in denial for years without proper treatment and even once they get on the medicine they feel like they are cured and stop taking it once again and thus you have a bad cycle. But amanda is doing much more than just crying for attention and screwing up the role model image she worked so hard to create , she is sick.

  3. I’m not sure telling someone with severe mental illness to get their shit together is particularly helpful. And given the fact that she is in psychiatric hospital and presumably doing all of the things you suggest, why jump on her now? Your “open letter” is well-written but not particularly sensitive to someone in crisis. You may well know what it took to overcome your eating disorder and addictions (as do I) but harshly judging someone else (especially when cloaked in compassion) is a pretty low blow. Why write this and why now? Given the fact that the New York Times is reporting today that she will likely spend a year in a psychiatric facility, I think her problems are much more serious than you realize. Someone needing that level of care isn’t going to just “get her shit together”. I know you are young and I have respect for your willingness to put yourself out there. I simply disagree with targeting someone in a state that is clearly beyond her control (hence the conservatorship).

  4. Cami, it could not have been said or written any better than that. I truly love the women you are becoming….. Great job, hope she really reads and takes it to heart.

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