By Juliet Dreamhunter
If Valentine’s Day exists to celebrate your love for someone else, how come there is no holiday to celebrate your love for yourself?
For most of us, loving ourselves doesn’t come naturally, and since it’s so much harder than loving another person, it’s only fair to pamper yourself on the day of love!
Especially for those of us who don’t have that special someone to be pampered by.
This day is so focused on couples that it’s difficult to show up anywhere alone: people look at you sympathetically as if they only see half of a human, and the other half is missing.
How come it’s still like this in 2023?
We came so far in all the other areas: from technology to the place of the woman in a household. We invented new devices and are now much more accepting of all gender identities.
But we still somehow think we aren’t whole without another person. That we can’t possibly be happy every day if we don’t have a partner.
Let’s break this pattern ASAP!
Being in a loving relationship can undeniably bring a bunch of benefits into your life – but it can also bring a lot of pain. Sadly, lots of women choose to ignore the pain and stay in the relationship just for the sake of it: the fear of being single, alone, and judged by others is stronger than self-love and the desire to escape the pain.
By the way, if you are single and not in a toxic relationship today, it’s yet another reason to celebrate!
I wish being single on Valentine’s day was normalized and not frowned upon. It’s like with other holidays: we celebrate the days that are relevant to us and acknowledge others.
I don’t think many people cry on Astronaut Day because they aren’t astronauts. Or get sympathetic glances on Father’s Day because they are women and can’t become a father.
For some weird reason, it’s ok to not relate to other special days, but not Valentine’s day!
It’s time to change this, and this kind of change ought to start from the inside.
We need to accept that this holiday is for couples, and be okay with not being part of the celebration. Or choose to simply celebrate love in its pure form, which includes your family, your planet, your friends, and, most importantly, love for yourself.
Whether you are single or have whatever reason for spending this Valentine’s day without your partner, why not dedicate it to self-love? Be your own Valentine, for once!
Say nice words to yourself
My absolute favorite tool for self-love is positive self-talk. It’s simple and it’s incredibly powerful after you overcome the initial weirdness of talking to yourself. I promise you it feels less weird when you start to do it daily!
It’s easy to get caught up in self-doubt and negative self-talk, but taking a moment to remind yourself of your worth and the things that make you unique and special can have a profound impact.
After publishing thousands of positive affirmations on my blog over the years, it’s only natural for me to use them every day and every time I feel inferior in some way. I have collections of go-to affirmations for everything, from feeling beautiful and finding inner peace to letting go of the past and welcoming new beginnings.
But you don’t need thousands right now. Don’t overwhelm yourself.
Today, start by looking in the mirror and saying “I am amazing”.
Give yourself a lovely gift
Same as you would give a nice Valentine’s day present to your partner, get something nice for yourself. We are celebrating self-love, after all.
You deserve it. Remember, you are strong, capable, worthy of love, and amazing just the way you are!
Maybe it’s something you wouldn’t let yourself purchase for a long time, but really really want it. Or maybe it’s something that will instantly make you happy every time you look at it, which is what I went with.
This year for Valentine’s day, I created and ordered a photo book with my 2022 year-in-review. It’s full of my favorite memories of trips, adventures, and people I met. To be honest, it was a pampering me-time by itself as I had a blast in the process of creating it, reliving all the beautiful moments as I was choosing pics and perfecting the layout.
It’s already arrived and I can’t wait to open it on Tuesday! Maybe it sounds weird to you, but I’m not letting myself touch it before Valentine’s day, which builds up the excitement, even though I kinda know what’s inside. It’s a special gift of love for me.
What’s your gift to yourself this year?
Set Valentine’s day resolutions
As we are celebrating self-love, it’s a good idea to write some Valentine’s day resolutions, the same as we do for the New Year but with a focus on self-care.
These are some examples I came up with:
– I will prioritize taking care of my body and mind regularly.
– I will not define myself based on my relationship status (and won’t let anyone).
– I will make time for activities that bring me joy.
– I will be kind to myself.
– I will have the strength to recognize and leave unhealthy relationships.
– I will celebrate my little accomplishments and every bit of progress I notice.
Remember, self-love is a journey, not a destination. Be patient and kind with yourself as you work towards creating a happier you!
Love yourself more
There is no limit to other self-pampering activities you can engage yourself in to feel better this Valentine’s day. You can go to a spa, take a long bath with candles and aromatherapy, or do something fun with your best friend.
Just make sure you have some me-time and express self-love in any way you can. Whether it’s through affirmations, journaling, or meditation, make sure to give yourself the same love and care that you give to others.
Your true happiness is already within you. Other people can enhance it, but it’s already there, and you are already whole and full of love. Let yourself be happy regardless of your circumstances because you are a wonderful soul and you deserve the best!
Happy Valentine’s Day, love!
Juliet Dreamhunter is a happiness coach and the founder of Utterly Positive. She writes about maintaining a positive mindset and making yourself happy no matter what. Her mission is to help young overwhelmed women develop a positive attitude so they can live a more mindful, peaceful, and fulfilled life. Through affirmations, journaling, and little happiness tips, she is reminding you to be happy in the moment and look for joy in the little things.
