By Patricia Crisafulli
When I was 30, it was hard to imagine being 60. It seemed so distant and, well, so old. Then something happened in my mid-30s that shifted my perspective and, in the process, gave me an unexpected creative partner: I made friends with my older self.
I can remember it vividly. While out walking one day, I began thinking deeply about my hopes and wishes—especially of being a novelist. Instead of just pining away over what I had not yet achieved, I decided to imagine myself in my 60s—surrounded by evidence of achievements. Then my imagination really kicked in, and I saw my 60-year-old self beckoning me to a shelf, lined with books I had written.
In that moment of intentional visioning, I met my older self as my wise advisor, encourager, and creative partner. That image showed me what was possible—that I could pursue my goals and achieve them. (Spoiler alert: I’m now 64, a novelist twice over, and working on the latest in my Ohnita Harbor Mystery Series.)
It’s not magic, it’s neuroscience
Personally, I find this fascinating—our brains can’t tell the difference between something that actually happened and something that we intentionally and vividly imagine. (Adds a whole different meaning to “be careful what you wish for,” doesn’t it?) There’s evidence to suggest that, the more we imagine something—engaging in mental rehearsal—the more we create and strengthen the neural pathways in our brains to help us achieve it.
This is why athletes and other top performers use visualization as a performance tool. We can do the same in our creative pursuits such as writing. Through visualization techniques such as engaging with our older selves, we can unlock greater potential and give ourselves permission to stretch and grow.
An inner role model
As a 7-year-old, I discovered the love of writing. By the time I was 12, I knew I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. But I didn’t have a role model—a real person who could advise, encourage, and guide me. As my wise sister Jeannie reminds me, “Back then, the women around us pursued their creativity quietly—they sewed, gardened, did needlework—things that were acceptable as part of keeping a house.” Fortunately, I found a way to put myself on a writing path, which led to a journalism career, but that wasn’t my end goal. Only by giving myself an inner role model—my older self—could I begin to envision a more creative future.
From dream to hope to action
Visualization gave me hope—my dream was grounded because it felt possible. However, I also knew that simply dreaming about writing wouldn’t get the job done! Once again, I used visualization to engage my older self in some creative brainstorming, by contemplating the question, “So, what did you do?” Admittedly, at first, I could only imagine my older self spouting encouraging platitudes—not giving up, going for my dream …
Then I relaxed into the mental rehearsal, going deeper into what it could—and would—take to make my dream into a reality. What I envisioned became a plan—a “creative map” that laid out a path forward, including a five-year program at Northwestern University and earning a Master of Fine Arts (MFA) degree in creative writing. Thank you, older self!
Close your eyes…and invite your older self in
To engage with your older self, start with a mental picture: yourself at some future age and date—whether a few years or decades from now. Then picture your older self in a setting that speaks to your creativity—in a studio, a gallery, on the stage, in a workshop (as teacher or student), at a bookstore promoting your latest book. Engage your older self as an inner role model by contemplating questions, whether as a mental exercise or by journaling.
Dear older self: What did you do to realize your (our) dream?
Inner role model: What was the most important step along your (our) creative path?
Wise woman: What do I need to know right now that will help me pursue my (our) creativity?
The never-ending story
My creative path has led to several nonfiction books (including a New York Times bestseller) and award-winning short stories—and also my share of rejections and redirections. At age sixty-two, my first novel, The Secrets of Ohnita Harbor, was published, followed a year later by my second, The Secrets of Still Waters Chasm. And I’m not done yet! I have more novels to write and short stories to create, and I just signed up for a scriptwriting course. (Plus, I still work full-time as a communications consultant, and I’m an avid runner and hiker.) I still engage my older self, although now she is age 85, to help me envision a long, productive, and creative life of my never-ending story.
Making our world more inclusive
There’s one more thing: befriending our older selves takes the sting out of aging. It’s a fear most of us have to some degree—we cringe at the thought of getting older. That attitude, however, can spawn ageism and its stereotypes about older people and, in the extreme, gerontophobia. Our older selves can help us recognize and embrace the wisdom and experience that comes with aging, as well as the abilities we can develop at every age.
Ours is a multi-generational society, and the more comfortable we are with the reality that we all get older, the more we can help people of every age feel included with a genuine sense of belonging. It’s what the World Health Organization calls an “age-friendly society.” Your older self is a role model for adopting an age-inclusive attitude—while empowering your own creative pursuits throughout your lifetime.
Patricia Crisafulli is an award-winning writer and a New York Times bestselling author. Her first novel, The Secrets of Ohnita Harbor, was published by Woodhall Press in 2022, and her second, The Secrets of Still Waters Chasm, was published in September 2023.
