How To Handle Homesickness With Your Au Pair

Having an au pair join your household can be an exciting and enriching experience, but it’s important to recognize that they may also face challenges. One of the most common hurdles for au pairs is dealing with homesickness. Leaving their family, friends, and familiar surroundings can lead to feelings of isolation and discomfort, especially in the first few weeks.

As a host family, you’re in a unique position to support your au pair through this adjustment period. By being proactive and empathetic, you can help them feel more at home and create a positive environment for everyone involved.

What Is Homesickness and Why Does It Happen?

Homesickness is a normal emotional response to being away from home, especially for an extended period. It’s not just about missing physical places but also the people, routines, and cultural norms that bring comfort. When your au pair first arrives, everything will likely feel new and overwhelming. They might miss their family, the language they’re used to speaking, or simply the little things like their favorite foods or local customs.

These feelings are completely natural and often hit hardest during the early weeks. The excitement of arriving in a new country can quickly turn into anxiety as reality sets in. It’s also worth noting that homesickness can manifest in different ways – sometimes it’s visible sadness, but it could also show up as irritability, withdrawal, or a lack of enthusiasm for activities.

So, how do you help? Here are some practical steps you can take to support your au pair during this time.

Encourage Open Communication

Talking is key. One of the best things you can do is encourage your au pair to open up about their feelings. Let them know that it’s okay to miss home and that you’re there to listen. You could ask questions like:

“How are you feeling today? Is there anything specific you’re missing?”

“What’s one thing from home that you wish you could have here?”

These kinds of questions give them the space to share their feelings without judgment. Being available to listen (even if the topics seem repetitive) shows that you care and can help them feel less alone.

It’s also a good idea to check in regularly. Sometimes homesickness can come and go in waves, so keeping the lines of communication open beyond the first few weeks is crucial.

Help Them Stay Connected

Technology makes it easier than ever to stay in touch with loved ones, and this can be a real lifeline for an au pair struggling with homesickness. Encourage them to video chat with their family and friends regularly, or share updates on social media if that’s something they enjoy.

However, there’s a balance to strike here. While staying connected to home is important, it’s equally essential that your au pair begins to immerse themselves in their new environment. You don’t want them to feel stuck between two worlds, so encourage them to also invest time in local experiences.

Create a Welcoming Environment

Your home is your au pair’s new home, at least for the next few months or year. Little touches can make a huge difference in helping them feel comfortable.

  • Welcome package – Put together a small welcome package with local treats, a guidebook for the area, or even just a handwritten note. It’s a gesture that shows you’ve thought about them and want them to feel at ease.
  • Personal space – Ensure they have a cozy, private space to relax. A comfortable room where they can unwind is essential for mental well-being.
  • Family integration – Involve them in family activities right from the start. This could be movie nights, family dinners, or weekend outings. The more they feel like a part of the family, the less isolated they’ll feel.

Encourage Local Exploration

Homesickness can sometimes make au pairs feel reluctant to explore their new surroundings. As a host family, you can play a big role in encouraging them to get out and experience the local culture.

Here are some ways to help:

  • Provide recommendations – Share some of your favorite places, whether it’s a local café, park, or museum. You could even take them on a mini-tour of the neighborhood.
  • Help them connect with other au pairs – Find out if there are local au pair meetups or social groups they can join. Meeting others in the same situation can be incredibly reassuring and help form a sense of community.
  • Invite them to social events – If your family is attending a local fair, concert, or gathering, invite your au pair to come along. This not only helps them experience the culture but also introduces them to more people.

Be Patient and Understanding

It’s important to remember that homesickness doesn’t disappear overnight. It may take weeks or even months for your au pair to fully adjust to their new life. During this time, patience is key. Avoid getting frustrated if they seem distant or less engaged at times.

Sometimes, it’s about giving them the space to process their emotions. Encourage activities that bring joy, but also recognize when they might need a quiet day to recharge. This balance of gentle support and understanding will help them feel more at ease.

Help Them Develop a Routine

Routines can create a sense of stability, which is something an au pair experiencing homesickness might crave. Help them establish a daily routine that includes both their responsibilities and time for themselves. This could involve:

Work schedule 

Clearly outline their duties and set a predictable schedule. This structure helps them feel more in control.

Personal time 

Encourage them to set aside time each day for activities they enjoy, whether that’s going for a walk, reading, or catching up with family.

Homesickness Will Pass

While homesickness is common, it’s also temporary. With the right support and encouragement, your au pair will gradually adjust to their new surroundings and start to feel more comfortable. By fostering an open, welcoming, and understanding environment, you’ll not only help them through this difficult time but also build a strong, trusting relationship.