Dating an online personality ten or even five years ago probably would’ve been a laughable or even outrageous concept for most of us average people. But the internet is shaping so much of our professional and personal lives that there are plenty of people who run an online career of some form, whether that’s as a popular vlogger, YouTuber, or a successful blogger, and are in the dating pool. If you find yourself dating someone who falls into this category, then there are things that you can do to give a relationship with an online personality the best possible chance to develop.
One of the most important things that you need to do is set very clear boundaries, especially if you’re dating a vlogger/YouTuber. So many popular YouTubers have branched off into lifecasting, which means they’ll run separate channels to share videos of their day-to-day lives even though they started off as online experts or specialists in a niche. Kathryn Morgan, for example, is a professional ballet dancer and she started her online career with, you guessed it, videos relating to ballet.
But as her popularity grew, she was asked to do some vlogs that became so popular that she now runs a lifecasting channel as well as her ballet one. On this channel, she vlogs about things like her upcoming marriage preparations, career, and daily life. When you become involved with someone who makes sections of their life public, then you have to speak out about how much of that you are willing to participate in.
Popular trans Youtuber Gigi Gorgeous is another social media personality with a huge following who documented her relationship with a new boyfriend. But she was also candid about her break-up, as seen in the feature film about her online career and transition, ‘This Is Everything’. Gigi successfully showed audiences how to balance the demand of her fans who want insight into her life, yet also respect the personal boundaries of the other person involved.
Remember that even though they are choosing to vlog about their life, you don’t have to. But on the other hand, if it’s something you wouldn’t mind being involved in then discuss it. Setting healthy boundaries in a digital age where a lot of our lives can be found online is important. Just like any other type of boundary in a relationship, it’s set by the two individuals having clear and honest discussions about what they are comfortable with.
Social media usage is another thing that you should consider when dating someone who has some form of online career. Bloggers often must spend time building and maintaining their online presence and that can involve a lot of time spent on Facebook or Twitter interacting with people. One of the negative aspects of social media, in this instance, is that it can be a huge source of anxiety, paranoia, and jealousy.
According to an article on Psychology Today analyzing the impact of social media on relationships and personal lives, this anxiety can spiral into something called a negative feedback loop: “potential jealousy-provoking information leads to more partner surveillance on Facebook, which, in turn, increases the chance of experiencing more Facebook-related jealousy.”
Their actions online don’t have to have a negative impact on your relationship, however. Open communication is key to understanding this aspect of his lifestyle. If you’re worried about the amount of time they spend online, tell them. Be interested in the work that they do, but don’t compromise on what you need from them, either.
You may find yourself dating someone whose main profession involves being online a lot, like a professional online poker player. Across the world, players from different backgrounds (male and female alike) are making a comfortable living from their online pursuits, so if you are dating someone who is a successful and recognized online player, then you need to afford the same respect to his choice of profession as you would any other.
Playing for a living takes commitment, and remember if that person has worked hard enough to make a living from it, they may need to spend long hours online or play through the night. You can prevent this from becoming a barrier to your relationship by asking them to be upfront about what they need to do and when they will be doing it.
Being involved with someone whose life relies heavily on the internet doesn’t have to be as difficult or overwhelming as it seems. We live in a world where our dating lives are often dictated and directed by digital tools already, such as dating apps and match-making websites. To actually date someone who has a large internet following could be seen as a natural extension of the type of lives we already live. As with all relationships, communication is the key.