By Seema and Ashima Giri
Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth. It was into this hopeful season of abundance that my precious daughter Ashima entered the world. In those first hours of gazing upon her new life, I could already see her: elegant and poised with a slight attitude. As I drank her in, I knew that she wasn’t the only one who was being transformed in that moment – I was undergoing my own kind of renewal. One that involved building a new legacy of generational flourishing.
I knew that her best life meant I had to overcome fears and beliefs I’d carried for several years. It meant breaking free from old, limiting patterns. My transformation had begun three years earlier when I left months of being bed ridden from chronic illness. But the journey was just beginning as all those sick days had left a residue of depression, low self-esteem, and feelings of unworthiness.
One woman is born. Meanwhile, the other is reborn. My children helped restore the broken places in me with their unconditional love. We embarked on transformation together, with Aman and Ashima loving me for who I am – not for what I do. This type of loving was new for me as I had been raised to believe that love was the result of doing well in school, being obedient, and always serving.
During those years, we worked on breaking the pattern, creating new traditions and meanings that we enjoyed. As I overcame my limiting beliefs and depression, I was simultaneously teaching them how to prioritize themselves, to include self-care for their body (emotional, mental, and physical), and to fuel their mind by using nurturing and loving language and optimism. They understood that what you feed your mind, body and heart is directly related to the quality of your life. I was confident that being armed with these tools my children would never deal with mental struggles that I went through.
Imagine my heartbreak when, despite all our efforts to create new patterns, both of my children experienced depression, especially Ashima. At first, I wondered if I had failed them. But rebirth and transformation can surprise you. What I discovered was that my transformation did not spare my children but it helped me express the same unconditional love they had shown me – because of my own experiences, my husband and I were able to be timely and compassionate. We gave Ashima the time and space to heal without putting extra pressure on her.
Ashima puts it this way: “My mom opened up about her life and the struggles she had previously faced. When I faced depression and anxiety, I knew I could come to her. I know many kids aren’t able to come to their parents when it comes to mental illnesses; but it was easier to come to my mom because she always made sure we had an open relationship. I could truly express how I felt. Knowing that she went through something similar made me feel more at ease. She knew the right tools and the right things to do, she was able to get me the right help. She made sure I’d flourish in life.”
“She never got the chance to take care of herself before she had kids. She led a restricted life and was never taught how important it is to take care of yourself. Her transformation happened as I was a young girl so watching her love herself and taking care of herself was so important for molding me. It helped me a lot when I started experiencing mental health problems. Observing how she did things allowed me to take care of myself and pay attention to me. Which led me to recover faster instead of taking the rest of my life to do so.”
You see, generational healing didn’t mean my children avoided pain. Instead, I discovered that their flourishing still meant going through pain – but doing so with the peace and confidence that they’d come out the other side strong and beloved. My transformation built a foundation for theirs!
#1 International Best Seller & Award-winning author Seema Giri, has 20 years of Project Management, Coaching and Leadership experience—having trained and coached nearly 100,000 individuals. As an international speaker and holistic lifestyle strategist, Seema offers her Break Free to Brilliance Program, Anthology Publishing Program, Break Free to Brilliance Podcast, Blog and VIP Coaching to heart-centered, spiritually-aligned entrepreneurs, business owners and visionaries. Her latest book is “Break Free to Stand in Your Power,” which is available on Amazon. You can visit her website www.seemagiri.com.
#1 International Best Seller Author, Ashima Giri is a twenty-year-old college student and the owner of a clothing line advocating mental health awareness and suicide prevention called Don’t Die Clothing. The purpose of the brand is to let people struggling with any mental illness know that they are not alone and that there’s hope. Ashima donates a percentage of the of the profits go to suicide prevention organizations like San Francisco Suicide Prevention, The Trevor Project, and National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can visit the website at www.dontdieclothing.com
