If you’re anything like us, you are probably sick and tired of the puritanical cultural and political force rearing its ugly head, influencing legislation and our education systems. We have a LOT of un-learning to do when it comes to ideas around sexuality, bodies, and autonomy, but it is going to take some work to reach a place where we are a culture fully embracing sex positivity. One woman who is going the extra mile to shift our way of thinking about sexuality and taking ownership over our bodies is entrepreneur and sexologist Tyomi Morgan, who has dedicated her life to raising awareness and providing education to underrepresented individuals in the field of sexuality.
When Tyomi started her journey as a Sexologist, there were many barriers to overcome as a BIPOC female in the sex industry – one that was (and still is) dominated by white men, which has resulted in a lack of diversity in product offerings, marketing, and education. She’s on a journey to change this with, most notably, being named the seminar coordinator for The Exxxotica Expo, the Largest Event Dedicated to Love and Sex in the USA.
Tyomi is an international pleasure coach with 12+ years experience as a thought leader, writer and influencer in the field of sexuality. She is also the founder of The Cowgirl Workout™ – where sex and fitness meet. In addition to her work, Tyomi is a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health, and an on-set intimacy coach in film and TV.
And clearly the work she is doing reflects the kinds of change in narratives around sexuality that many of us want to see, boasting 107k followers on Instagram, and over 140k on Twitter. As an influencer and expert, people want to hear what she has to say and teach, including us! So we sat down with Tyomi to learn more about The Cowgirl Workout, what a sexologist does, and her take on how we can individually do the work to break down misconceptions around healthy sexuality.
Can you tell us about your work in the field of sexuality, and what first interested/prompted you to make a career out of this?
Back in 2009 when my modeling career took a shift, my dad encouraged me to use my gift of writing and I decided to start a sex blog. At that time, there weren’t many prominent Black voices in sex education and sexual health who spoke the language I spoke, and I decided to be a solution. In my work in the field of sexuality I help make sexual topics palatable to the average person, and focus my mission on empowering women to improve their relationships with sensuality and their bodies.
I am a somatic movement healer, tantric coach, sexual health writer and adult content creator. I have written for several publications from Black Doctor to EBONY, and I’ve been featured in several publications across the internet. I tour the world teaching sex education classes and hosting lifestyle events, and I am the resident sexpert and seminar coordinator for The Exxxotica Expo. I am also the founder of The Cowgirl Workout.
For those unfamiliar, can you explain what a Sexologist does?
A sexologist is one who studies the science of sex. How a sexologist decides to flex their knowledge is completely subjective. Some write, some lead classes or lectures, some create visual content and others have podcasts. Overall, sexologists are researchers and providers of scientific sexual knowledge.
As a BIPOC woman in the sex industry, what kind of barriers have you come up against, and who are have typically been the gatekeepers?
In my twelve years in the industry, I have never experienced gatekeeping or someone trying to keep me out of spaces where I am meant to be impactful. As a sexual health practitioner in general, I’ve experienced takedowns on social media, rejection from payment processors and website hosts, blocks from email services and so many more digital platforms. I’ve been demonetized on YouTube and shadow banned plenty of times on Twitter and Instagram. If anything, censorship has been my greatest obstacle on my journey as a sex coach.
The way education is created and shared matters a lot, especially when it comes to bodily autonomy and sexuality. How are you working to change the status quo in the landscape?
For years I have run various campaigns around body positivity not just for women, but for all of my followers who wanted to share in the experience. I like to think of myself as a thoughtful thirst trap. One who uses her image to shift the idea of what it means for a brown, full figured person to own their sexuality. I use my visual art to inspire and empower others, and it’s helped so many people own who they are in their bodies.
What are some of the biggest issues you have seen with clients, especially BIPOC folks or women of color, with regard to sexuality?
Women of color come to me mostly with insecurities about their bodies. A number of them feel disconnected from their bodies and feel embarrassment or shame in intimate movement, and this is where I step in with empowerment via somatic movement healing practices. Aside from poor self concept, women of color also come to me with issues around connecting with sexual pleasure and their desires. Women of color have been highly fetishized, yet made to feel inferior in claiming sexual freedom. I help my clients develop an awareness of the sexual autonomy they possess and empower them to make their own decisions in pleasure.
Tell us about your Cowgirl Workout! How did you come up with the program and what can people expect to learn about?
The Cowgirl Workout is my somatic movement healing program created to help women improve their intimate movement and build a deeper relationship with their bodies. I came up with this workout after receiving hundreds of comments on my Youtube Channel from women around the world who needed help with riding. I started touring in 2016 with the class and it took off immediately. Since the pandemic, I’ve created an online community for women to practice and learn at home, and the results are profound. So many women have unlocked levels of pleasure that they didn’t think were possible, and I’m happy to be their guide.
Why is it important to break taboos around sexuality in today’s climate? What are the long-term impacts in people’s lives, that you have seen?
Innocent human interactions that are deemed taboo can cause an imbalance in how people interact with the world around them, and eventually turn into deviant behaviors that can cause harm to oneself or others. Removing the taboo label from sex frees the body and mind from internal struggle with sexuality. I’ve seen people’s lives expand tremendously through the acceptance of their sexuality.
What stereotypes are you hoping will be gone in the future when it comes to sexuality and sexual health?
I pray that the stigma around getting tested and knowing one’s STI status will disappear along with the stigma around living with an STI. I also hope to live in a world where queer folk are celebrated instead of being ostracized. I pray that more folks across the African Diaspora embrace their sexuality without shame, and learn how to become fluid within the spectrum.
If you could give one piece of advice to readers about how we can all play a part in breaking down misconceptions about sexuality, and making it a positive space all around, what would it be?
The best piece of advice I have is to get educated. Seek out educators or resources that are reputable and subscribe to their content. I also encourage people to examine the messaging and information they’ve received about sex and sexuality to become aware of what misconceptions have become beliefs for them. This process can bring up a lot of emotions and potentially trauma so it’s important to have a coach, therapist or counselor to lean on during the process of rewiring and rewriting mental scripts.
How do you define sex positive?
I define sex positive as being aware of and having an open mind towards the sexual spectrum and respecting the sexual autonomy of others.
You can learn more about The Cowgirl Workout by clicking HERE, and be sure to register for the Exxxotica Expo if you’re in Chicago from April 21-23, 2023.
