Her family escaped a military coup, she survived an abusive marriage, and she endured the rigorous demands of medical school only to pivot to a career she had not initially intended to pursue. But everything Dr. Lally Pia has experienced in her life has ultimately enabled her to become the resilient, triumphant and inspiring woman whose memoir ‘The Fortune Teller’s Prophecy: A Memoir of an Unlikely Doctor’ (She Writes Press, April 30) we could not devour fast enough!
When a military coup in Ghana leads to the abrupt closure of Lally Pia’s medical school, she is left stranded there, thousands of miles away from her family in California, with no educational prospects or money. Adding to her turmoil is her discovery that her American Green Card has been botched, which means she has no country to call home. But a Sri Lankan priest told Lally that she would one day become a “Doctor of Doctors” —and she is intent on proving him right.
It is a searing examination of the immigrant experience, the complexity of trying to leave an abusive marriage, and how we define who we are in the face of great odds. A story that will resonate with anyone who has faced cultural and immigration hardships, ‘The Fortune Teller’s Prophecy’ is a nail-biting journey across continents, through hardships, and into ultimate triumph.
Today Lally is a mother, a grandmother and a child psychiatrist who lives in Davis, California, with her husband, Tim. We had the chance to speak with Dr. Lally herself to learn more about her story, why she felt compelled to write this memoir, and what she hopes readers will take to heart after reading her journey.
What initially made you want to become a doctor?
The idea was always at the back of my mind because of my father telling me about the fortune teller’s prediction. He really believed that priest, and told everyone who would listen about it. It was a gradual process for me. As a young child I used to try to help stray dogs by bandaging their hurt legs or I’d give them “human” pain medication to ease their suffering. As a young teenager I saw scores of people in the hospital who’d lined up for hours to see the doctor.
It struck me that it would be so wonderful to be “the one” who had the knowledge to ease the pain for all those suffering patients. Initially, I wanted to be a writer, or perhaps a teacher, so I very reluctantly applied to medical school to please my parents because I had good grades. It was only much later that I truly felt a calling to the field as an adult. I couldn’t have made a better choice. It is very fulfilling.
Recalling the experience of the military coup in Ghana in your new book, what was it like to go back in time to write about this and live through such a politic turmoil?
In a lot of ways, we were shielded from the political impacts of the coups. All I recall is irritation that we had to curtail outdoor activities, skip parties, and remain home. Foreigners were never targeted by violence as I recall. As children we were happy to have an unexpected holiday from school if there was unrest. There were times when we had to go past military blockades manned by men wielding AK 47 rifles. I was always terrified.
I vividly recall one time when I was seated with my siblings at the back of our car when an armed man pointed directly at me. He told my father, “I want to marry your daughter.” My father never broke a sweat. He simply handed the man a folded banknote and treated the request like a joke. Looking back, I am glad that my parents kept us out political discussions. We had a fairytale upbringing, and were shielded and felt safe from all trouble.
At the point where you thought you had lost all hope of getting to America, learning your Green Card had been botched, what enabled you to keep going?
As I discussed in the memoir, I was at my lowest point the afternoon that I learned I could not travel to America. It got steadily better after that. My parents had always brought us up to believe “you can, you will, believe”. They unfailingly treated setbacks like specks in the path. My father was always philosophical. His belief in serendipity filtered down to us and bathed us in that belief. Even in that moment of sadness, I tried to seek “the bigger meaning” of this hitch in my plans.
When the Claydens agreed to host me, this raised up my spirits immediately. They’d treated me like a beloved daughter and friend when I’d visited them in Scotland before, so I told myself that this was all meant to be; that there was a bigger purpose. Later, I would tell people that the “bigger purpose” was that I fell in love with John Russell when I was stranded (even though that ultimately did not work out the way I’d hoped.)
Becoming a doctor is certainly no easy feat, and as an immigrant you have to navigate numerous barriers, what were the biggest challenges for you?
Starting medical school up again at age 36 was the first and biggest challenge. All my life I was called the “smart” one, but I was now surrounded by a hundred overachievers, most of whom were a decade younger, with brains fresh out of undergraduate careers! I had been out of school for five years when I applied to med school. Added to that, I struggled with single parenthood.
My parents had provided us with a picture-perfect childhood. I wanted to re-create that reality for my own children. If something had to give, it was studying, and so my studying was done in clumps on weekends and late in the nights. This was ineffective because I was exhausted after my daughters fell asleep or when they were ill.
In addition, I did not study the right way. Having grown up in Ghana, where you wrote a mini essay to answer a test question, I was not schooled in the skills needed to take multiple-choice tests. It took years to truly understand the “game” of using practice tests to study, to filter out the “fluff” from the most important facts. I was reading large textbooks of medical information because they were interesting. Three years into medical school I was partnered with two amazing Ob/Gyn doctors, both women, who worked with me on test prep.
I realized I’d been doing it all wrong. They painstakingly worked one-on-one with me to build up my confidence as I learned how to believe in myself. They built up my knowledge bank a different way. I will be eternally grateful for their support, because it was a pivotal time for me. It was truly a breakthrough!
In your book you also talk about being in an abusive relationship. Why was it important for you to write about this? Was it hard to go back to that time in your life?
I wanted to reach those women who know deep inside that something in a relationship that initially seems wonderful can gradually become unbearable and feel wrong. I hoped to reach people who find themselves in a toxic situation and tell them that there are many warning signs that go unheeded, which I tried to ignore. I wanted to show how difficult it can be, especially if there are cultural constraints, to leave the “certainty” of a financially secure setting for a jump into the unknown.
I also wanted to show how the relationship can make an insidious switch to being abusive until it is difficult to know when to draw the line. I also wanted to show that it takes a lot of courage to do that, yet in retrospect, that was the best move I could have made.
It was very difficult to go back and write about it. In earlier attempts at writing my memoir, I cut out huge sections of the negative parts, only to find out that doing this left my audience out in the cold. They had to feel the beginning or a new love then to experience its “death.” In my audio book, there were many times I broke down in tears and had to re-record some of the tough excerpts. In the end, however, it was cathartic to relish the stronger woman who emerged from this.
Your story of resilience despite the odds is certainly inspiring. But also underscores how difficult it can be to pursue our dreams. What do you think is the secret to not giving up, and how would you encourage others?
This is very difficult to answer. My resilience stems from my childhood where my parents taught me at every opportunity that there was nothing that I could not do. In the Sri Lankan culture, the children are feted and educational achievements are acclaimed. So, it is difficult to imagine how I would have fared if my family was abusive or cold instead of being so encouraging every step of the way.
The key to not giving up is the ability to stop and reflect how you have handled a fall. When the fall occurs, it is time to take a breath, focus on what you did that was right or wrong, reflect on whether the event was beyond your control or not and whether someone in your circle of friends and relatives can help you navigate your course, or reset it. It is a time to discard your pride and find solace and the humility to seek guidance or consider a different path.
The next step is to take tremulous steps to chart a new course, all the while knowing that you weathered the last fall, so you have what it takes to handle the next one. This time around you have a support system around you that you have nurtured, and a stronger belief in your underlying skillset. In this fashion, your strength of purpose grows with each fall and recovery, instead of burying your vitality with each hit.
Today as a mother and grandmother, what are some of the biggest life lessons you are sharing with your family?
Look to the world and life like a child who believes all is possible. Be eternally curious about everything in this world and in the worlds that surround us. Love people and enjoy every second you are with them, because these seconds add up and increase your enjoyment of life. Dare to start the ripple that will become a huge wave that splashes back at you with warmth and support; you wouldn’t believe how many people whom I have touched come back to touch me in the strangest and most unexpected ways.
Look to others, not just leaders, but those less fortunate, to learn more about how they have navigated life. Accept other beliefs unless the beliefs of others include racism, violence, hatred, are demeaning, or seek to restrict the inherent beauty within others. Encourage and foster the wisdom in other people, because it will expand your own universe. Be a good steward to the animals and plants we share the world with. Learn from their behavior and seek to stem out wastage and excesses.
Love the beautiful world we have and do everything in our power to stop desecrating our environment. Glow so others see your light and are brought to life and attracted to the light you emit when they experience your confidence and happiness.
What prompted you to write ‘The Fortune Teller’s Prophecy’ and finally share your story with the world?
I wanted my readers to understand that there are many different ways to experience life and be happy. My life took multiple twists that were character forming and gave me hard-won resilience. I hope that people who have been in similar positions may see that their journeys can be full of color, and even when darkness strikes, it may be just a passing cloud. One that allows you to fully embrace the light of life after the cloud has gone. More than anything, I want to instill in my readers the power of clinging to hope when all seems unattainable.
If you could go back to that Sri Lankan priest who predicted you would become a “Doctor of Doctors,” what would you tell him about your life today?
I would tell him that for most of my life I was one of his biggest skeptics, but today I believe. My life today is happier than I could have ever imagined. It is truly incredible. I would say I never truly understood the meaning of the “doctor of doctors” phrase, but at this time, it does not matter to me. I want to thank him for giving my parents this belief to cling to, which I guess must have reverberated deep within me. So much is possible if you just believe!
What do you hope readers will remember most about your story after reading your book? What lesson or message do you hope they will apply to their own lives?
This lost girl, this immigrant to America, who was on welfare, who was in a relationship that was good then turned bad, who discovered a way out of welfare and faced the rigors of med school later in life, who finally discovered her true self and her strength then attracted true love… She found within herself a blaze of glory and “can do” that nothing in life can snuff out. I want them to believe that “if she can do it, so can I.”
Get a copy of ‘The Fortune Teller’s Prophecy: A Memoir of an Unlikely Doctor‘, out now, see more of Dr. Lally Pia’s work on her website, and connect with her on LinkedIn and Facebook.
