By Ellen Klein
Self-care is often dismissed as a luxury and something to do only if you’ve got some extra time. However, for many women, prioritizing rest, mental well-being, and personal needs is an act of resistance. The pressure to be productive, give endlessly to others, and suppress our exhaustion runs deep in society.
Choosing self-care isn’t just about feeling good; it’s a refusal to accept burnout as the norm.
Why Prioritizing Yourself Feels Radical
Historically, self-sacrifice has been expected from women, especially when they’re in caregiving roles. The unspoken rule has been to give and give at home, in workplaces, or within communities, until nothing is left. This expectation is so ingrained that guilt often accompanies the simple act of taking a break.
Audre Lorde, a Black feminist writer and activist, famously wrote that caring for herself was not self-indulgence but self-preservation, calling it an act of political warfare. Her words remind us that, for marginalized communities, prioritizing health and well-being directly challenges systemic oppression. When society devalues certain groups, insisting on rest and care becomes a form of defiance.
Even outside of activism, choosing personal well-being over endless productivity pushes back against a culture that equates worth with output. The expectation to always be busy and available has only grown in the age of technology, making self-care a radical act of reclaiming our time and energy.
The Misconceptions About Self-Care
Many people associate self-care with spa days, expensive wellness retreats, or elaborate morning routines. While those can be forms of self-care, they aren’t the full picture. True self-care isn’t about spending money or capturing an Instagram-worthy moment. It’s about meeting our actual needs, even when they aren’t glamorous.
Some forms of self-care are uncomfortable. This list can include setting boundaries, even when it disappoints those around you. Saying no without guilt. Prioritizing sleep instead of pushing through your exhaustion to get things done. Taking breaks without feeling the need to earn them. Getting therapy or support instead of pretending everything is fine.
These acts require unlearning patterns of self-neglect, which can be difficult. But once self-care stops being about indulgence and starts being about necessity, it becomes easier.
Making Time for Yourself Without Guilt
One of the biggest barriers to self-care is feeling like there’s no time for it. But time isn’t always the issue. How it’s spent is. Many people have been conditioned to put themselves last, squeezing in self-care only when all other obligations are met. The problem is that our obligations never end.
Instead of waiting for free time to appear, schedule it like any other commitment. Setting aside even 30 minutes a day, whether for reading, stretching, or simply sitting in silence, makes a difference. Treat that time as non-negotiable.
Guilt often creeps in when taking a break. The idea that rest must be earned is deeply ingrained, especially in work culture. But rest isn’t a reward; it’s a basic need. Chronic stress and lack of rest increase the risk of heart disease, anxiety, and depression.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s survival. If guilt shows up, it helps to acknowledge it without giving in. There’s no need to justify rest any more than eating when hungry.
Setting Boundaries Without Apology
Without boundaries, self-care is nearly impossible. Whether at work, in relationships, or with social obligations, constant demands drain energy. Learning to say no without over-explaining is a skill worth developing.
Work emails that come in after hours don’t always need an immediate response. Friends or family members who expect too much emotional labor can be gently reminded of personal limits. Social plans that feel like an obligation rather than something enjoyable don’t have to be attended.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you difficult or unkind. It protects your well-being and helps you live to fight another day!
Redefining Productivity and Success
Society tends to measure success by how much gets done. But being constantly busy doesn’t equal a meaningful life. Rest and joy are just as valuable as work. By reframing what productivity means, you can shift the mindset that rest is a waste of time.
Instead of measuring accomplishments only by tasks completed, progress in emotional well-being, creativity, and overall health should also count. A week that includes adequate sleep, moments of joy, and time for self-reflection is one that’s just as productive as checking things off a to-do list.
Taking Care of Your Mental Health
Mental health care should be as routine as physical health care. Activities like therapy, journaling, meditation, or simply acknowledging emotions instead of pushing them aside are all valuable. Too often, mental well-being is neglected until a crisis forces attention. Regular self-care reduces the likelihood of reaching that breaking point.
Therapy isn’t just for those in crisis. It’s for anyone who wants to better understand themselves and navigate life with more clarity. If therapy isn’t accessible, other forms of mental health support, like support groups or self-guided resources, are available.
Moving and Eating to Support, Not Punish
Movement and nutrition are often framed as ways to fix or strengthen the body, but they should be about care, not punishment. Exercise doesn’t have to be intense, and eating well isn’t about restricting food types. Instead of focusing on changing the body, shifting the perspective to supporting it makes a difference.
Moving in ways that feel good, whether that’s stretching, dancing, or walking, can make self-care feel natural rather than forced. Eating in a way that nourishes rather than limits you or following an eating plan that suits your lifestyle and offers health benefits encourages a good relationship with food.
Choosing Yourself Without Waiting for Permission
Taking care of yourself in a world that rewards burnout is radical. It means valuing yourself enough to refuse exhaustion as a status symbol. It means unlearning guilt, being proactive, and taking your health seriously without apology. It means choosing a life that includes joy, rest, and peace without waiting for permission.
The world won’t always make self-care easy, but that’s exactly why it matters.
Prioritizing well-being isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. And the more of us who embrace this, the more the culture shifts away from glorifying exhaustion and toward valuing real, sustainable well-being.
Ellen Klein is a versatile editor who brings a unique perspective to her work, with a focus on financial management, family and relationships, and health-related topics. With a realist approach, she believes in the power of planning for life’s unknowns, bringing her extensive experience to bear on business, family, and relationship advice. When Ellen isn’t editing, she can be found volunteering for social causes close to her heart, or indulging her passion for writing at her keyboard.
