November 13 is recognized as World Kindness Day. Today as we celebrate this, we are reminded not only to be kind to others but also to extend that same compassion toward ourselves—especially when facing intimate personal challenges. Renowned Swedish sex therapist Leigh Norén, specializing in low libido and sexual anxiety, encourages everyone to embrace self-kindness when managing concerns about low libido.
Research shows that low libido affects many people and can impact mental health, underscoring why self-compassion is essential:
- Low libido affects up to about 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men
- Believing inflexible, unrealistic, or faulty sexual beliefs such as “there’s something wrong with me” is linked to poorer sexual functioning
- Sexual dysfunction can have a negative impact on overall mental health
Experiencing periods of low libido is often accompanied by anxiety or self-criticism.
“Even though low libido is exceedingly common, most people with low or mismatched libidos in their relationship feel like there’s something wrong with them and like they’re all alone,” she explains. Rather than viewing it with frustration or shame, Norén suggests that compassion and patience are critical to navigating this natural variation in sexual desire.
Norén explains that anxiety about sexual performance can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it even more challenging to relax and enjoy intimacy. “We know that being hard on ourselves and engaging in negative self-talk can exacerbate or even create sexual difficulties,” she says.
This is backed by research from the Cognitive Therapy & Research Journal too, showing the high prevalence of negative automatic thoughts during sex among those with sexual difficulties, compared to those without difficulties.
“World Kindness Day serves as a powerful reminder that changing how we speak to ourselves can have a profound impact on our sex lives and overall health.”
Often, kindness is viewed as something extended outward, but Norén encourages a shift in perspective. “When we think about kindness, we usually think about being kind to others,” she says. “Yet, we are also someone we can be kind to. Practicing self-acceptance and kindness can bring greater understanding and bring us one step closer to resolving our sexual difficulties.”
Norén encourages individuals to consider this day an invitation to embrace compassion and understanding in all areas of life. Whether through mindfulness or gentle self-reflection, extending kindness inward can lead to a renewed sense of confidence and well-being.
As highlighted on her website, Norén emphasizes that low libido doesn’t define one’s value or worth. Her approach focuses on reducing the stigma surrounding sexual health difficulties by promoting acceptance and understanding of low libido and offering practical strategies for cultivating self-acceptance. To support couples and individuals in their journey toward a healthier sexual relationship, Leigh Norén offers a variety of intimacy tools and relationship resources on her website.
By prioritizing kindness and understanding toward oneself, individuals can better determine the root causes of low libido and what steps to take to increase their libido and overall well-being.
