You Can’t Love Others Without Loving Yourself Also. Duh!

girl happy

Sounds conceited, right? Love yourself first and foremost, and then focus on loving others and receiving the love and acceptance of others around you? I mean, we always want to impress everyone around us, and gain acceptance from people, don’t we? Unfortunately, this is the case for many women in this world. We try to do whatever we can to get noticed by our family, friends, loved ones. We leap beyond the boundaries; we go that further mile, maybe to get the satisfaction of a simple affirmation from another person.

I know I can say that I have definitely and without a doubt been a victim of the “does everything for the acceptance of others” phenomenon; it used to get me every time! However, after recently graduating with a major in Marketing (Business and male dominated school) and a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies (School of Arts and Sciences and absolutely female dominated choice of degrees to finish in), I can attest that this need not be the case. Sure, we want others to like us.

Of course, we value the opinions of our close circles. But, do we really need to “dress to impress” others when going out, and ask our girlfriends what we should text our significant others to sound “flirty but not too flirty, you know? Just right.” (What does that mean?) This bizarre feeling of gaining acceptance from others has people feeling like they are constantly failing. There is probably a theoretical confirmation written somewhere that says if you love yourself first, it will better your chances of a happy and successful future which lies ahead of you. I however, would like to tell you why I think this is totally true and more than just a statement.

Reading between these words, we need to realize the importance of focusing on ourselves. We are not machines, we are humans. We are not perfect, we make mistakes. Taking all the mistakes you make and turning them into positive learning experiences for potential improvement and growth in whatever it is that you’re doing will not only help your future, but it may actually make you feel better about yourself as a person. Taking all the negative energy that any part of your body may hold onto, and transforming that into positive energy, will most likely produce a great impact on the inside. People tend to flock and become attracted towards positivity. If you are truly happy on the inside, then you will certainly be shining, even glistening with smiles on the outside. Once you feel content and at ease with yourself, this emotion will reflect outwards towards others that form opinions and judgments of you.

girls happy

Once you feel the good energy and good vibes within you, you are able to focus on loving yourself. Love is a very strong four letter word that should not be thrown around for any reason. We are meant to love ourselves first. We are meant to be there for ourselves, to stand up for ourselves. Once you start loving yourself, trust me, all will fall into place. Once you start to realize that you are beautiful, smart, talented, passionately curious, and successful, you will love yourself. When you start to love yourself more and more, you will worry about the opinions of others less and less. Trust me when I say, that feels good! J

Don’t forget to live, don’t forget to smile, and definitely don’t forget this: never stop loving yourself!




Kate Guberman was born in Moscow, Russia. Growing up in America allowed her to be completely surrounded by a society that is filled with entertainment and media. She aspired to be an entertainment and news host and has big dreams of taking her knowledge of pop culture to an entirely new level.

You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.


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