AI just out-flirted the average guy – but fell flat when it came to making it official.
A new study of 1,000 women aged 18–30 found that 60% preferred pickup lines crafted by AI, compared to just 48% written by a real man. AI crushed the DMs (25% vs 14%), but when asked to seal the deal? The human’s vulnerable sincerity won.
This new research from AXE looks at how AI is changing the way we flirt and connect.
- AI outperformed the young guy in the DM stage (25% vs 14%), proving that tech might just have better chat than the average flirt
- Nearly half (43%) said a dating coach’s confident tone was the most attractive when asking someone out
- A quarter chose the young guy’s vulnerable message as the best for making things official, ranking #1 compared to AI or the dating coach
With AI sliding into every part of our lives (including our DMs), AXE set out to discover whether tech could out-flirt humans. To find out, they teamed up with dating coach Benny Hart—who’s helped thousands of guys master modern dating—pitting him against an AI chatbot, and an average young guy we picked from Louisiana to see who could craft the best lines.
1,000 18-30 year-old women were then surveyed to find out which of the anonymous chat-up lines they’d best respond to.
Overall, dating coach Benny ranked #1 with 68% of respondents reacting positively to his lines. AI came in second place with 60% of respondents responding positively to its lines, leaving the young guy in last place at 48%.
Despite both the dating coach and AI outperforming the average flirter, the results showed a clear pattern: AI led the way when it came to charming its way into the DMs—but when it came to sealing the deal, emotional honesty still won.
Sliding in the DM’s: AI Takes the Crown for First Impressions
| Rank | Participant | Line |
| #1 | AI | “Okay, your vibe check just passed—what’s the secret playlist or coffee order that makes you feel unstoppable?” |
| #2 | Young Guy | “Saw your profile and I think your fits are missing one thing: Me :)” |
| #3 | Dating Coach | “Planned a clever line, but I’ll keep it simple… What’s your go-to dessert? Careful, wrong answer might be a dealbreaker.” |
When it comes to first messages, AI beat the young guy and the dating coach, winning over around one in four respondents (25%) with its smooth, creative opener:
“Okay, your vibe check just passed—what’s the secret playlist or coffee order that makes you feel unstoppable?”
This suggests that AI was the perfect blend of confident, conversational, personal and flirty whilst not being over the top. By contrast, the young guy’s line came across as too self-assured, whilst the dating coach’s line was too structured.
Asking for a Date: The Dating Coach Dominates When Moving Offline
| Rank | Participant | Line |
| #1 | Dating Coach | “Are you free Friday or Saturday after 7? There’s a new spot that I know you’d like. Let me know and I’ll make it happen. :)” |
| #2 | AI | “We’ve proven we can banter online—want to test our chemistry over coffee this week? My treat if you bring your best stories.” |
| #3 | Young Guy | “I have a dumpling spot ready whenever you wanna go.” |
Once the chat turned flirty, the dating coach took control, with almost half (43%) saying they’d respond positively to his take-charge tone:
“Are you free Friday or Saturday after 7? There’s a new spot I know you’d like. Let me know and I’ll make it happen.”
It hit the sweet spot between confidence and clarity, showing that people still value direction when it comes to IRL connection. The AI’s polite chemistry over coffee line came second, while the young guy’s casual “I have a dumpling spot ready whenever you wanna go” line fell flat at 8%.
Making it Official: The Young Guy Wins Hearts When It Counts
| Rank | Participant | Line |
| #1 | Young Guy | “It’s been sweet having you as this girl that’s my friend, and I don’t want anyone else to take your place. Will you be my girlfriend?” “ |
| #2 | AI | “Real talk—I’m not looking around anymore. You’ve got my full attention. Want to turn this from dates into something real?” |
| #3 | Dating Coach | “I’m not gonna lie, I’m into you. I want us official. I’ll pause the paperwork until I hear from you…” |
When it came to the “make it official” moment, the young guy’s emotional sincerity won out.
A quarter (26%) said they’d respond best to his heartfelt, boyish message:
“It’s been sweet having you as this girl that’s my friend, and I don’t want anyone else to take your place. Will you be my girlfriend?”
It stood out for being genuine, sweet, and emotionally open—a refreshing contrast to AI’s slightly robotic tone and the dating coach’s overly slick delivery.
The Perfect Flirt
The findings show that each persona brings something different to the table—AI’s wit, the dating coach’s confidence, and the young guy’s heart. While the dating coach ranked highest overall, the results highlight that the ideal flirt blends all three qualities: creativity, leadership and emotional sincerity.
AXE’s dating coach Benny Hart explains that while AI may win on paper, real chemistry still happens face-to-face:
“AI might help you with a slick one-liner or an online convo, but the guys who win are the ones with the guts to take losses, learn, and keep showing up. That’s where confidence and edge are forged.” He adds: “Here’s the deal: if you lean on AI too much, you’re setting yourself up for a bigger L. It might throw you a slick line, but if that’s not you, you’ll never be able to keep it up in person. She’s going to think, ‘Where’s the guy I was talking to?’ That’s where guys blow it—they set a bar they can’t live up to.”
Benny also adds “I’ll be real—AI will out-rizz most guys online. Don’t try to beat it, use it. But remember: AI can’t back it up in real life. Only you can.”
What Makes a Flirty Message Work
What Works:
| Rank | Type | Percentage |
| #1 | Playful humor | 51% |
| #2 | Genuine compliments | 33% |
| #3 | Confidence | 31% |
| #4 | Personalized details | 29% |
| #5 | Emotional warmth | 19% |
What Doesn’t Work:
| Rank | Type | Percentage |
| #1 | Sexual or explicit messages | 44% |
| #2 | Negging or backhanded compliments | 35% |
| #3 | Dry replies | 30% |
| #4 | Bragging | 27% |
| #5 | Cliché lines | 18% |
Benny’s Final Tips
Dating coach Benny Hart says flirting success comes down to keeping it simple and showing up with real confidence:
- Be playful. “If you come in stiff or boring, she’s done. This is not an interview. Boring kills attraction faster than anything. You don’t have to be a clown, but you do have to bring some fun energy. That’s what gets her curious and relaxed.”
- Decide. “Once you’ve got a little back-and-forth, stop dragging it out. Make a plan. Most guys sit in the pen-pal zone texting for weeks, and it kills the vibe. If you like her, set the date. If she’s not into it, then let her go.”
- Be bold. “Do things other guys aren’t doing because they’re not bold enough to approach, ask, or act on it. Get courageous and step up boldly.”
For more data insights and expert tips from Benny Hart you can take a look at the full AXE study.
