High school can be a challenging time for any student, with the desire to fit and find acceptance among peers in at the top of everyone’s list. But what happens when you are the first out trans student at an all-girls school, reluctantly becoming a trailblazer for wanting to join an elite club normally reserved for legacy students? Is seamlessly blending in even possible when you are balancing the cultural pressure to be a symbol of progress with the ingrained pressure of becoming a high achiever?
This is the central theme of acclaimed author Naomi Kanakia’s novel ‘Just Happy To Be Here‘, released in January this year. Lead protagonist Tara just wants to be treated like any other girl at Ainsley Academy. That is, judged on her merits—not on her transness. But there’s no road map for being the first trans girl at an all-girls school. And when she tries to join the Sibyls, an old-fashioned Ainsley sisterhood complete with code names and special privileges, she’s thrust into the center of a larger argument about what girlhood means and whether the club should exist at all.
Being the figurehead of a movement isn’t something Tara’s interested in. She’d rather read old speeches and hang out with the Sibyls who are on her side—especially Felicity, a new friend she thinks could turn into something more. Then the club’s sponsor, a famous alumna, attacks her in the media and turns the selection process into a spectacle. Tara’s always found comfort in the power of other peoples’ words. But when it comes time to fight for herself, will she be able to find her own voice?
It is a timely story undergirding the current moment where there is an outsized focus on trans students and athletes across the country. While the legislative attacks and media misinformation play out in real life, as a trans Indian woman Naomi is using her novels and Substack to challenge misconceptions and create a safe space for trans students to feel seen and be accepted.
Why is this important? As The Trevor Project notes, sharing data from the CDC, almost 2 percent of high school students identify as transgender, and 35 percent attempted suicide in the past year. Visibility is not only important for the trans community, it is a matter of survival.
In ‘Just Happy To Be Here’, readers will find a special personal note from Naomi addressing the attacks on trans youth, where she explains more about her advocacy, the need for nuance in this conversation, and the encouragement she hopes especially trans readers will get from her stories.
We had the chance to speak with Naomi about her writing career, the need for more nuanced conversations about social transitioning, and her forthcoming June novel ‘The Default World’ which features a trans woman who sets out to exploit a group of wealthy roommates in the Silicon Valley tech-bubble.
When did you decide to become a writer, and what was it about writing stories that sparked your interest?
I’ve been writing since my senior year of high school (about 20 years ago!) and I think it’s a combination of things. I like that I can do it on my own, and that I am in charge of my own career and can pursue my own projects at my own speed. I just also put a lot of effort into it at a time (college) when I wasn’t putting effort into anything else, so in my twenties I realized writing was simply what I was best at and was the field where I was mostly likely to have any kind of success.
You have written non-fiction, fiction and poetry, short stories and essays. Do you have a preferred format among these?
It varies. When it comes to shorter things—poetry, short stories, and especially essays—I like that I totally control them. I write and submit them on my own and don’t need anyone’s permission. My essays go up on my substack immediately and sometimes draw a pretty good, very thought-provoking, response.
Ultimately I do enjoy novels the most. I enjoy living in the world, feeling the characters come alive, and I like the structural challenge—making sure the parts all fit together in a satisfying way.
As a trans woman of color, how are you weaving your lived experiences into your stories and writing as a way to create visibility and representation?
I’ve written quite a bit about trans women. I think we’re a fascinating bunch! And I can imagine many different stories about trans people. I think our transness, while not always the most important thing about an individual trans women, is really interesting in itself, and I like it as a story device, for the way it exposes different kinds of socialization. I like that you can have characters who experienced the same social scene as both a boy and as a girl, and have a peek behind the curtain, to see what is really essential and what changes and how those changes feel.
Your new YA novel out in January ‘Just Happy To Be Here’ features the story about the first out trans girl at an all-girls school who must choose between keeping her head down or blazing a trail. Where did the idea for the story come from, and what can readers expect?
I’m not sure where it came from! I was between agents at the time, and I wasn’t sure I would write another book. I wrote a proposal (a trans girl in an all-girl’s school) on a lark, and my editor loved it. I think the ultimate genesis is that I went to an all-boy’s school growing up, and I also spent a lot of time at a nearby all-girl’s school, and I really idealized the all-girl’s school and just thought it was so much nicer and superior. So writing the book was wish fulfillment in a way.
We hear a lot about the medical transition process, but can you talk about the notion of social transition and how it is especially hard for trans youth?
There’s so much controversy over medical transition. I certainly support teens transitioning medically, but it’s quite rare, and it requires a relatively early diagnosis of gender dysphoria and very supportive parents. Social transitioning is far more common—kids trying out different pronouns, names, gender presentations. I socially transitioned a year before medically transitioning, and I was surprised by how much of a difference it made. Just living as the other gender, with another name, another social role, eased so much of my gender dysphoria. In my novel I wanted to really represent that very common experience.
You also have an adult novel coming in June 2024 called ‘THE DEFAULT WORLD’. Can you tell us what it is about, and the topics/themes being interwoven into the story?
In my twenties I spent a lot of time around San Francisco burners (people who go to Burning Man). They had six-figure jobs, but lived in group apartments, had extravagant parties every weekend, wore crazy costumes, and talked with a wild-eyed rhetoric about reinventing family and community. I am very fond of these people, but ultimately a bit contemptuous of them. I always felt that community and limitless self-expression are not compatible.
If your community doesn’t put limits on you, then ultimately it won’t feel responsible for you. This book is about an Indian-American trans girl, coming from much more restrictive communities (both Indian and trans) and trying to fall into this new group and just not quite fitting, not quite being able to ignore the contradictions in what they’re saying.
How has writing helped you navigate your own transition, and process the changes happening?
I don’t know if it’s helped, per se. One factor speeding up my transition was my desire to write more freely about sex and gender than an ostensibly-cis man was allowed to. I wanted to write about female friendship and sex and all kinds of things that women just didn’t want to hear from a man. So coming out helped people see, oh this isn’t just a man writing about us. But mostly it’s been the opposite: transitioning has helped my writing.
Now I don’t have to write in circles about what I’m concerned with. For instance, my second YA had a protagonist who really idealized his ex-girlfriend and was hung up on her, even as he dated an exciting new guy. The protagonist of that book is clearly trans, but I didn’t know it yet, and I didn’t write that into the book. If I was re-doing it, I’d be able to be much clearer about that stuff, and the book would just be a lot more compelling.
Writing about sensitive topics can be enlightening but also complex. You have seen this firsthand through the reaction to one of your previous YA novels about a bixesual teen. How do you handle divisiveness or pushback from readers?
The above novel, my second YA, got a little controversy, with some people reading it poorly and thinking it was homophobic (i.e. that the protagonist was just pretending to be gay). I thought that was very silly, but people are entitled to their ideas. I don’t read reviews, I don’t worry about what people are saying. That’s the only way to handle it. But that pushback is one reason I started writing for adults as well—it made me think maybe the YA audience isn’t ready for the sort of sexuality that I want to write.
One of the things we love about your books and writing overall is the idea that all people should feel accepted and welcome. What impact do you hope your work will have on readers?
I just hope they enjoy it. I hope it makes them feel less alone.
Why is it important that we see and hear about more trans stories, and see leading trans characters today – whether it be YA fiction, blogs, essays, films, TV etc?
It wasn’t until the last few years that I really read books by other trans women, and I was shocked by how much I enjoyed them. Books like Jeanne Thornton’s Summer Fun, or Gretchen Felker-Martin’s Manhunt, or Alison Rumfelt’s Tell Me I’m Worthless. I felt such enthusiasm for these books—related to them so strongly—and I realized, wow, this is what cis-gendered people get to feel all the time! I think it’s just a pleasure to relate to something once in a while.
What message do you have for the trans youth today, especially those who will read ‘Just Happy To Be Here’?
I thought a lot about this while writing the book. Through the last year, the news for trans youth has just gotten worse and worse and worse. In the 20+ states where teen transition is banned, the situation is quite grim. I do not have good advice for what they ought to do. I just wanted them to know that if you are trans, then it’s very hard to be happy and fulfilled without transitioning. And that you have to be smart and think about your own safety. In this environment, you can’t necessarily trust your teachers, therapist, doctor, relatives, etc. You have to carefully evaluate who you can trust and just how much. It’s really a dystopian situation.
You can order a copy of ‘Just Happy To Be Here’ out now! Follow Naomi Kanakia on Instagram and subscribe to her Substack.