By Paula Galli
Since the young age of ten, the mirror was no longer just a place to see my reflection. It became the central focal point where I would criticize the size and shape of my body. “My stomach should be tighter. My thighs should be smaller. My bum should be firmer.”
Every part of my body essentially should always have looked different to me. This way of viewing my body continued until my early twenties. It wasn’t until I realized that nothing needed to change with my body itself, but rather with the way I spoke to it and thought about it.
Having dedicated my career as a Transformational Coach & Food Therapist, to help women of all ages truly fall in love with themselves, their bodies, the food that they eat and their lives, I know first hand that I am not alone in this journey of longing for bodily acceptance and self-love.
This I why I wanted to share my top five rituals that will help you begin to love and accept your body the way it is.
(1) Ask Your Body For Forgiveness
Let’s start at the very beginning. If you are anything like myself, or any of my clients, then the way you have been speaking to (and about) your body has gotten pretty nasty. After years of repetitive criticism and negative comments, your poor body has been beaten down.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself if your body is affected by this? Do you think it is going to be on your side and help you tone up, lose those extra pounds, or have proper digestion just because you ask it to? The answer is no. Think of it this way – would you do what a mean friend or partner asks of you? Even if you would, there would certainly be resistance and resentment involved while doing so. I believe that the same thing happens with our bodies.
Letting go of bodily-hate was a process, but with dedication, optimism and positive energy, my body began to change – all because I allowed it to. This was one of my greatest accomplishments and I always find it amazing when clients of mine begin to let go of improper dieting and bodily-hate. Once they have done this, they begin to walk the path of bodily acceptance and self-love, and thus help their body naturally transform into what they always desired it to be. There is something powerful about asking your body for forgiveness and treating it with respect. This may seem somewhat silly, but I promise you this is the first step towards truly loving who you are.
(2) Change The Way You Think & Talk About Your Body
As mentioned above, speaking negatively to your body can certainly leave some scars. This is why it is essential to change the way you not only talk about your body, but also the way you think about your body. For anyone who has been struggling with a lack of self-love and bodily acceptance, this is usually one of the most difficult exercises to practice because it is so natural to think and to speak about your body in a judgmental way.
It is extremely important to start a new way of being with less judgment and more realistic expectations. What is also important to remember is that self-negativity will not eliminate itself. Rather than getting upset with yourself when a negative thought appears, incorporate positive affirmations into your day. For example, start with these three mantras until they become real beliefs to you.
- “I appreciate my thighs for what they are.”
- “I have beautiful eyes.”
- “I love my smile.”
Use these mantras as a way to challenge your negative thoughts, until they become part of your automatic thinking and then replace them with three more. Positive thoughts will lead your mind to heal from within. Happiness lies in working from the inside out.
(3) Stop Comparing Your Body To Others
With these two first points in mind, it would only be natural that the next tip is to stop comparing your body to others. For many of my clients, this is something they have been doing for years. I know for myself it became an automatic habit to go around the room and compare my body to others. This is why consciously catching yourself when you do this is an essential in the self-healing process.
Try to stop yourself before saying things like, “I wish I had her legs.” Or “Look how much skinnier she is then me.” I’m not telling you to ignore the females that surround you because let’s face it – we are all beautiful! However, if you truly want to learn how to love and accept your body, work on complimenting others as well as yourself for what you perceive as beautiful. By complimenting someone else, you have become one step closer to accepting your own body. Just like any new habit, this will take time to have it happen naturally, so be patient!
(4) Practice Gratitude For Each Of Your Amazing Body Parts
Often times it is hard to practice positive affirmations for the appearance of your body. Learning how to focus on the functions of your body parts is key to authentic self-love and bodily acceptance. For example, rather then just seeing your thighs as something that is a certain shape and part of your leg, be grateful for all of the amazing things your legs allow you to do. Rather then seeing your mid-section as needing to be tighter, be grateful that it protects all of your internal organs, which are vital for your survival.
Practicing gratitude for what your body does for you versus what it looks like will allow the self-love and bodily acceptance to overshadow any negativity you may have towards yourself.
(5) Love What Your Mother Gave You
Above all else, you were brought into this world as a beautiful baby. Your unique genetic make-up certainly affects the size and shape of your body and within it holds immense historical links to your ancestors and heritage. Work on being proud of your unique body composition, just like you did as a toddler and accept what your mama gave you. Your body is your home. Home is where you feel safe and ultimately, it’s where the heart is. Love yourself.
I hope these five powerful rituals will help you on your own journey towards self-love and bodily acceptance. As mentioned above, it is important to stay patient with yourself as any new behavior takes practice and repetition.
Paula Galli is a Transformational Coach, Food Therapist & Author of “Weighing Love.” Paula has always been extremely passionate in helping others realize that anything they desire is not only possible, but is their birthright. Her own personal journey of overcoming low self-esteem, anxiety, taunting perfectionism, depression and an eating disorder, allowed her to discover that it was her purpose to help others transform their lives, just as she transformed hers. Paula specifically focuses on helping individuals fall in love with themselves, their bodies, the food that they eat and their lives, while simultaneously guiding them to trust their own inner guide. She helps her clients create and live their dream life.
Learn more about Paula and her services here: www.paulagalli.com
You can also follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and check out her Youtube Channel.
Great article. As a Residential Coach and Mentor with over 13 years’ experience, I taught teen girls self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance.