By Krista Nerestant
Resilience isn’t just about surviving the experience but to be healthfully intact after.
Survive….it’s only the first step.
The quarter-life crisis is real. I experienced mine in 2007 and at 25 years old, I said no to a marriage proposal, quit my job of eight years, and opened Salon Evanella, all in eight months’ time. Life was about to teach me a brand-new curriculum.
I was behind the salon desk making last-minute preparations before servicing my very first client as a proud business owner when a heavyset man walked through the door.
“Hi, are you Krista Aventuna?”
“Hi. Yes, I am.”
“You’ve been served.” He handed me a white envelope and walked out the door.
My ex employer was suing me for violating my non compete contract. It felt as though my future as a successful entrepreneur had been obliterated in that moment. Defeated and at the point of giving up, I contemplated shutting it all down.
Accept reality with a dose of optimism….
I’m a serial optimist because optimism leads to courage—the ability to act.
My hands slipped from cupping my tears that gushed out of my eyes and fell on my lap.
I’m so tired. I am done. I can’t keep fighting anymore.
Once these thoughts filled my head, a wave of tragic memories sobered me up. The traumas of abandonment, child abuse, being orphaned, death, kidnapping, immigration, bigotry and more crashed into the forefront of my mind.
It reminded me of how I had overcome and triumphed over so many obstacles throughout my life that giving up was never an option. To quote Shawn Mendes, “It isn’t in my blood.”
Faith is to have complete trust and belief in someone or something. That someone begins with you.
I decided to fight the lawsuit. I called my aunt for help and an acquaintance who recommended a great attorney. The judge ruled to keep my salon open through the litigation though they argued to shut me down throughout the case. A win for me.
Open mindedness towards solutions….
Channel your inner creative which flows and adapts to the circumstance yet firm, secure, and clear of the ultimate goal. It is neither rigid nor controlled.
I am an entrepreneur, not a lawyer. They jabbed at each other in conference rooms and by the fourth round of identifying each other’s strengths and weaknesses, my lawyer conferred to me. “We can go to court, fight and we may win, but you will spend double the amount of money paying legal and court fees.” I trusted my lawyer and settled out of court suffering minimal financial loss.
Thrive in every situation…
Your perception becomes your reality so how do you move on productively and resourcefully?
They wanted to shut me down, but instead, thirteen years later, my salon remains open, supporting all my endeavors in every way. They wanted to break my spirit of entrepreneurship, dim my shine and damage me emotionally. But my life made up of hardships built me stronger than their jealousy and hate. Once again, I passed life’s exam.
Resilience—The ultimate Hidden Gift of Trauma
Krista Nerestant is a practicing life coach, educated and certified in Neuro Linguistic Programming and The Satir Method of Transformational Systemic Therapy to heal family dynamics and trauma, and an advocate for women and children. She hosts a podcast, Self-Care Tuesdays, that is dedicated to encouraging, empowering and elevating the journey of self-care. She’s teaching women it’s OK to be “Self-ish”! She is also the author of Indestructible: The Hidden Gifts of Trauma.