As Valentine’s Day approaches, clinicians warn that the pressure to find a romantic connection is intensifying stress and low mood among singles, particularly those relying on dating apps. According to research from Flinders University, many dating app users report worse mental health and wellbeing outcomes (anxiety and depression) compared to non-users.
Coupled with the already heightened stresses of Valentine’s Day, caused by unmet expectations and unrequited love, this time of year makes people more susceptible.
The research highlights behaviours commonly experienced by dating app users, such as being ‘ghosted,’ which are linked with lower self-esteem and higher depressive symptoms, indicating that negative feedback on these platforms has measurable mental health impacts. Researchers found a pattern of ‘emotional exhaustion’ and reduced enjoyment among frequent users, consistent with the idea of dating app burnout.
“The prevalence of depressive symptoms and emotional burnout as a result of online dating is a clear indicator that we need to deepen our connection with ourselves first,” says Dr. Hannah Nearney, M.D., clinical psychiatrist and UK Medical Director at Flow Neuroscience, a company that develops brain stimulation tools for depression treatment.
“During the Valentine’s Day period, we put additional pressure on ourselves to find connection. In doing so, we can risk finding ourselves in relationships which are not fulfilling just to ‘validate’ ourselves.”
Among young adults, there is growing social pressure to not be alone, and dating apps have become a primary way to meet that expectation. In fact, a study published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) found that people use dating apps for a mix of reasons, including finding long-term romantic partners and sexual connections.
This social environment can foster ambiguous connections known as “situationships”, wherein those involved continue to explore other options rather than settle into one relationship. According to YouGov data, half of Americans aged 18 to 34 have reported being in a ‘situationship.’
The BMJ study also found signs of obsessive-like app use driven by social expectations: 75% of users reported repeatedly deleting and reinstalling dating apps, with higher problematic use linked to more depressive symptoms and impulsivity, highlighting additional mental health concerns tied to excessive app engagement driven by societal pressures.
“Obsessive app use is not just about how often someone swipes; it shows up as an intrusive, distressing, and repetitive preoccupation which leads to losing control over our behaviour,” says Dr. Nearney. “Repeatedly deleting and reinstalling apps, checking your phone compulsively, and feeling more anxious, low or impulsive the longer you use them is a strong tell. When people feel pressure not to be alone, apps can start to feel less like a tool for connection and more like something they rely on emotionally. This is the point at which our mental health can begin to suffer.”
Expectations around love intensify stress, loneliness and disappointment, and this is especially noticeable around this time of the year. A study on suicide risk around Chinese and Western Valentine’s Days found that days before and after these holidays showed significant changes in risk compared with other days of the year.
Single women showed a 74% higher risk five days before Chinese Valentine’s Day, and married women a 60-86% higher risk around Western Valentine’s Day. The authors suggest these patterns may reflect unmet romantic expectations and distress tied to social narratives about love and connection. For those using dating apps, the holiday can act as a magnifier for already unmet hopes.
“Valentine’s Day can be reframed as a reminder that love doesn’t only come from a partner or a match on an app, but can take the form of self-love and looking after your mental health,” says Dr. Nearney. “This means practising self-compassion, staying connected to people in real life, and remembering that your worth isn’t measured by dating app metrics. Investing in friendships, community, and everyday moments of connection is far more protective for well-being than digital validation alone.”
By encouraging clarity in expectations in different parts of our lives, we can reduce ambiguity and emotional distress. Research consistently shows that stable and supportive relationships, either romantically or with friends, are strongly linked to better mental health and resilience.
Alongside meaningful social connection, maintaining well-being also benefits from regular activities such as exercise, learning new skills, creative pursuits, time away from screens, and even recently approved brain stimulation techniques, all of which support emotional balance and cognitive health.
