[Trigger warning: mention of suicide and suicide attempt]
According to Psychology Today, the term “Positive Psychology” refers to a branch of psychology focused on the character strengths and behaviors that allow individuals to build a life of meaning and purpose. Positive psychology emphasizes meaning and deep satisfaction, not just on fleeting happiness.
While there is overlap with traditional areas of psychology, positive psychology has been described as different from other areas due to its primary interest in identifying and building mental assets, as opposed to addressing weaknesses and problems.
Positive Psychology expert Niyc Pidgeon not only makes it her life mission to help clients build a life of meaning and purpose, she has the personal experience to back it up. She is an award-winning and best-selling motivational speaker, accomplished author, business mentor, and positive psychologist, deeply committed to igniting joy and personal empowerment in her clients. Niyc shares her insights and tips through her podcast series Unstoppable Success, which we highly recommend subscribing to.
Niyc has a thriving positive psychology practice that she scaled from her friend’s bedroom floor and has touched the lives of over 100k people through her seminars and books like ‘Now is Your Chance‘. She’s opened up about incredibly tough subjects, like in her interview with Marie Claire which covers the time she was abducted and sexually assaulted while on vacation in Ibiza. She has also lost several friends to suicide and survived a suicide attempt herself.
Without falling into the tropes of toxic positivity we see online and in mental health conversations today, Niyc has found ways to encourage others to tap into their communities for support and buoy their resilience in the face of the insurmountable. Today, Niyc is known as one of the most influential positive psychologists, according to Forbes, Marie Claire and Richard Branson. NBD…
As 2024 continues to unfold and we work our way through goal-setting, and living up to the resolutions and commitments we have made for ourselves this year, we wanted to learn more from Niyc and tap into the power of positive psychology. Read on below to learn how Niyc utilizes her personal story to create connection, the daily rituals she swears by, and her definition of success.
Can you first tell us where your interest and passion for psychology came from?
I became fascinated by human behavior after having a conversation with my boyfriend back in 2005. He was a professional cricket player and the sport psychologist he was working with had him do a visualization process in a session where he guided him to imagine he was on the cricket field with the bat in his hand. He asked him not to look at the fielders, but to look for the gaps in between them instead.
It made me think about what might be possible when we focus on opportunities instead of problems. And from that single conversation I was inspired to cancel my mechanical and automotive engineering degrees and study psychology instead – and I’m so glad I did.
How did the idea for your business Unstoppable Success begin? What was the catalyst for its formation?
I’ve always been entrepreneurial with a desire to help people. My first business was as a kid ironing my dads work shirts and charging him 50p per item. I wasn’t very good at it at all!
Then after reading Tim Ferris’ 4 hour work week back in 2009 I decided I wanted to set up an online business to create passive income. My first online business was actually a supplements company, and alongside that I was working as a personal trainer, as well as lecturing in universities, and running my own events, and studying my masters degree! I was far too busy and I had to reassess my strategy because I was making money some months and struggling other months. The income rollercoaster was also an emotional rollercoaster and I was putting in a lot of effort and helping a lot of people, but wasn’t getting paid enough to thrive.
So I decided to look at what was most profitable and scalable in alignment with my vision for the future. I set up my online courses and coaching in 2015 based on what I’d learned from so many years of testing and doing it wrong! Then finally things started to take off. I made $35,000 in my first month of getting focused and taking my coaching business online, then went on to scale a multi million dollar business from there.
You have written about being assaulted while on holiday a number of years ago, and the trauma you experienced as a result. How did this shape the work you do today?
All of the challenges we experience in life are opportunities for us to grow and learn. I know I’m able to help other people now from a place of more depth and strength – and I’m able to support people to keep going even when they feel like giving up. Post traumatic growth is a phenomenon we study in positive psychology which shows it is possible to not just bounce back after experiencing hard things, but actually go on to be stronger than ever before.
My challenges help me lead with greater compassion and perspective – we all go through tough times and by sharing and supporting each other to show there’s a light at the end of the tunnel we’re able to foster more resilience and live with more hope.
How has your healing journey evolved over the years? And how have you utilize it to help others?
Every step of the way I’ve looked for the lessons and the blessings within the challenges. In positive psychology we talk about two types of mindsets – the growth mindset and the fixed mindset. The fixed mindset is very rigid and only focuses on the outcome and sees absolute failure or absolute success. The growth mindset finds the joy in the journey, trusts the process and looks for the learning along the way.
When you realize the process is the reward you’re able to gain perspective more easily and enjoy the journey instead of just wishing you could get to a goal. Knowing the growth mindset framework helps me to remember I’m always capable and that I’m developing my emotional, spiritual and psychological tool kit which allows me to help myself, and then share with others how they might be able to navigate tough things too. On paper you’d think I’d had a terrible life – with a suicide attempt, losing 7 close friends – 3 of which died by suicide, surviving an assault, domestic violence, and healing heavy metals poisoning, mold poisoning and adrenal fatigue.
But all of these experiences have given me so much energy for my mission to help other people. As I’ve healed through one tough experience, I’ve had multiple other people who have come to me for support with the same thing. It’s helped me help more people, and helped me guide the narrative for my books too.
We live in such a disconnected world due to social media and other forms of technology. In your opinion, how do we form authentic human connections in such a disparate and uncertain world?
We all need to feel we have somewhere to belong – whether that’s within your family, a social club, or within an online network. Consider which platforms or relationships bring you joy and choose to get more intentional about showing up there.
Humans are social creatures and we cannot thrive alone so it’s important to remember to cultivate positive relationships in your life. Look for who you already have in your circle who is a cheerleader for you and invest more energy into the people who are already supporting you. Look at what it is you love and value about this person and ask yourself how you might be able to demonstrate more of that quality yourself so you can become a great friend too – both for your existing connections and new people who come into your world. Starting from this place of strength can remind you of the simplicity of looking for what already works and doing more of that.
Relationships are one of the core 6 elements of psychological flourishing, along with positive emotions, engagement, meaning, accomplishment, and health. A simple question you can ask to help build relationships, whether online or offline, is “what’s been going well for you this week?” People love to talk about themselves and instead of complaining and blaming this shifts a conversation into celebration which helps both of you access more positive emotions. Following up with active constructive responding and asking more questions about the thing they are celebrating can help you to deepen your connections.
It’s not all about pretending to be positive all of the time too. Being a safe place for a friend to share vulnerably, and you being willing to open up to a friend about where you have been navigating something tough, can also be a powerful way to deepen relationships and remind each other that we are stronger together.
How do you define success, and what are some of the practical steps you help your clients to achieve it?
Success is having the freedom to choose to live your life exactly the way you want to. This is going to be different for everybody. For me it means having peace in my heart, peace in my home, and the ability to structure my day as I wish, and travel whenever I want. I always start with the vision and version of success that’s present for that person and work backwards from the goal. When you know how you want your ideal day and week to look you can build a business model and personal success systems to support that.
The strategy and protocols won’t be the same for everyone and it’s never a prescription. I always invite our students to discover more about who they are through positive psychology and use what they learned to guide the development of their business on their terms.
What are some of the biggest barriers your female clients experience in their lives, that you’ve helped them overcome?
Women come to work with me when they want to accelerate within themselves and their career. They know they’re made for more but they often need more clarity around the steps to take to reach their goal. As well as this I see they’ve often been jaded by negative comments or people around them which has affected their self belief. Sometimes we are our own biggest barrier to success and we’re getting in our own way without realizing it.
Coming into a supportive community with a new perspective and a trusted mentor always helps them feel more certain on their path. They’re able to break through past perceived income ceilings, and create values driven, purpose led businesses which allow them to make more money, reclaim their time and invest more special moments with their loved ones – many have also even retired their husbands too!
What are the daily rituals that you swear by?
I start my day in gratitude by saying to myself as soon as I wake up and even before I open my eyes, “thank you thank you thank you thank you for this day, I am grateful in every possible way”. I then meditate with a kundalini mantra and practice a breath work which helps energize me for the day. I’ll listen to Abraham hicks, workout, and use the sauna, infra-red PEMF mat, and ice bath daily. I love to hike, and also have a Pilates trainer. Or I’ll go for a run or do a workout on my peloton bike or lululemon mirror. I like to stay active and always have so many ideas when I’m moving my body too!
For anyone who is interested in learning about positive psychology, where can they go to find more information, and how can it benefit all our lives?
First of all I highly recommend diving into positive psychology and learning about yourself through practicing the exercises and tools. Even after 15 years of working with the science of happiness I’m still learning so much about myself and I love boosting my well-being through the practices.
What I love about positive psychology is it’s not difficult to start using it. The tools are really simple steps you can take daily to shift the way you feel. The small positive actions compound together to create big results and you’re able to look back and see how far you’ve come.
Now more than ever before it is vital to take action to support your own mental well-being. And through the ripple effect of positive psychology you’re then able to impact your family and loved ones. Working on your own well-being isn’t selfish as you’re also helping everyone around you too.
Want to tap into the power of positive psychology with Niyc Pidgeon? See more of her work on her website, and connect with Niyc on Instagram, Facebook and Linkedin.
