By Kate Kubrick
Navigating online dating can be a bit tricky, especially for women. Surprisingly, studies show that almost 75% of women (just picture that!) have faced online harassment. So you can understand why we pause before openly stating what we’re looking for.
As the Head of Content at Flure, a dating app for people who embody sex positivity, I’m always checking in with users to understand the hurdles they face. Creating a safe, no-judgment zone is a top priority for us. We want women to feel free to say what they’re looking for, whether it’s a serious relationship or a casual fling. Both are totally cool, but sometimes admitting to the latter feels risky, especially if you’ve dealt with judgment before.
“ONS,” short for one-night stand, and “FWB,” or friends with benefits, are go-to choices for those seeking short-term fun without the commitment. While many women are interested, breaking the “good girl” spell and admitting it in your dating app profile isn’t always a breeze.
Emily, one of our users, hit the nail on the head: “Talking about casual stuff can sometimes bring unwanted attention or judgment. It’s frustrating when you’re just trying to be honest.”
Another user, Sarah, added, “The fear of being judged or labeled negatively can lead to self-censorship. It’s a shame that women often feel the need to hide certain aspects of their desires.”
Even in this era of independence and sexual freedom, some of us still hesitate to open up. Let me break down the top 5 reasons why we might shy away from putting ONS or FWB in our dating profiles.
1. Societal Judgments
Lots of women worry about what society might think and how they might get labeled if they talk about one-night stands or FWB. Our survey found that a whopping 60% of women feel pressured to stick to traditional relationship norms.
2. Online Harassment
Dealing with online harassment adds another layer of discomfort, making women more cautious about sharing their personal preferences openly.
3. Fear of Misinterpretation
Expressing interest in casual relationships can be tricky. Take Chloe’s experience, for example. After mentioning she was bisexual at a party, someone assumed she was up for anything. Now, she fears being labeled just for wanting a one-night stand. As Chloe puts it, “Bisexuality doesn’t mean I’m up for everything.”
4. Double Standards
Unfair double standards around sexuality also make women uneasy. The worry is real – society often judges women differently than men for similar behaviors. When we launched Flure and let women take control, the response was clear: “No more double standards, finally!”
5. Personal Privacy Concerns
The fear of personal details being shared without consent is real. Instances of private conversations being exposed make women think twice about openly discussing intimate topics. Luckily, some dating apps get it and ban screenshots – Flure is one of them, of course.
Here’s hoping we’re heading toward a time when women can express themselves freely, without judgment, not just in dating but in every aspect of life. To see how we empower women to own their status and choices, check out Flure.com.
Kate Kubrick is a Head of Content at Flure, the open-minded dating app dedicated to encouraging people to be their authentic selves, and have the autonomy to find what they truly desire. Flure App continues to be a pioneer in redefining the dating landscape, aiming to break down barriers and foster a more inclusive and understanding society.
