Sex toys are typically designed for cisgender men and women. But transgender, non-binary, intersex and/or gender non-conforming folks can sometimes have a difficult relationship with sex toys as very few designers produce toys specifically geared toward their bodies.
While in the past French entrepreneur Alice Derock, who founded Wet For Her, has focused on being a sex toy company “by women, for women,” her mission has shifted to where it should have been all along – by us, for us. A brand created by queer people for queer people. Indeed, Wet for Her started off with an intention to change how queer women and queer people were represented in the sex toy industry.
Twelve years ago, Alice was shopping for her and her partner, and felt let down by the selection of products available on the market. There was, of course, a variety of pleasure products for women, but there were not many aimed at queer women. Unsatisfied with the lack of consistency and quality of toys for lesbian women and queer people, Alice took matters into her own hands and revolutionized the sex toy industry by paving the way for the queer community to take up space. Wet for Her has grown exponentially since then and is constantly shifting to meet the needs of the community.
As the brand is expanding, Alice is not interested in bringing toys that will simply “have to work,” she’s laser-focused on offering toys that are made FOR every member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Along with much of society, the vast majority of sex toy companies carry the delusion that there are not only just two genders, but also that there are only two types of bodies: those with vaginas, and those with penises. Whether it be in representation or in toy offerings, it is no surprise that when it comes to sex toys, the trans, NB, intersex and/or GNC folks are constantly overlooked.
Because there are not a lot of options for toys catered to those outside of binary ideas about gender and bodies, they are cornered into thinking outside the box or ignoring the parts about the toy that aren’t for them. Sometimes they will find themselves settling for something that’s not great or makes them feel dysphoric, while others have thousands and thousands of options.
Every single person that is sexual should be able to feel empowered and affirmed when they use toys, whether they’re alone or with others. As a toy company founded by and for the LGBTQI+ community, Alice is focusing her attention where it needs to be by expanding WFH’s offerings to include products for and by the trans, NB, intersex and/or GNC community.
Alice is working on this collection with trans sex toy professionals and consulting through the community to create beautiful, sexy, empowering products. Wet For Her products are intentionally made to be neutral toned, with 100% medical grade silicone, and gender-inclusive.
We had the chance to speak with the entrepreneur herself and learn more about why it is time for the sex toy industry to be more inclusive and cater to a diverse array of people.
First off, can you tell us how Wet For Her began, and what the focus initially was?
The conception for Wet for Her came to me after shopping for sex toys and realizing there were limited options for lesbian women. A lot of the toys in the market at the time were very focused on penetrative sex and phallus shaped toys. I felt queer women needed more flexibility implemented in the sex toy industry that would allow for a uniquely queer sexual and pleasure experience which wasn’t so focused on cis-heteronormative narratives of sex. Wet For her means creating products to share the pleasure at the same time between women / alternative bodies.
You have expanded your sex toy empire to be more inclusive of queer women, trans, non-binary, intersex and gender non conforming people. Why was this expansion important to you personally?
Wet for Her was originally conceptualized as a sex toy company for lesbian women but has evolved into a platform for all members of the queer and LGBTQIA+ community. Expanding our shop to include toys and gender affirmative gear for all members of the queer community came naturally for us after realizing much of our customer and follower base on social media and our website are trans, non-binary, intersex, or GNC folks. We began implementing measures to prioritize inclusivity with our team.
It has been personally important as Wet for Her was originally meant to serve queer people who felt left out of the sex toy industry and needed a new framework for their pleasure experience, whether that is solo or with a partner. It has made our mission at Wet for Her more clearer and we are happy to be a company that represents this amazing community.
There is still so much taboo around cis women’s sexuality and pleasure, doubly more so for LGBTQ folks. Why do you think this is still the case?
I think most of the stigma originates from lack of awareness and spread of misinformation and certain beliefs which are simply not true! It’s always taboo to speak about sex, especially about sex for queer people. Cutting through the stigma and prioritizing creating a space for open conversation has proven, at least in my experience, to be the most effective solution to this. Wet For Her is a safe and inclusive LGBTQ webshop dedicated to them.
As a French entrepreneur, what is the general perspective toward women’s sexuality and sex toys in France? Is it divisive? Taboo? Accepted?
As much as I don’t like to say it, France’s acceptance for queer sexuality is very taboo. They are about ten years of progress behind on their advocacy for queer folks, especially the trans community.
In the US we are seeing a right-wing backlash toward bodily autonomy, not just for abortion rights, but trans rights, gender identity and more. How can WFH be part of the push for progress and changing people’s attitudes?
Our community is very progressive and we are lucky to have a team that fights and advocates for the rights of body and sexual autonomy. We do our best to give back to our community in terms of information, advocacy, and representation for these topics which are so crucial to our industry by providing information, inclusive toys and products, and supporting our community members when needed. This opens up an avenue for acceptance and conversation, which we believe is essential towards pushing for progress.
Can you tell us more about the experts you worked with to create sex toys specifically for LGBTQIA+ community?
We have hired sex industry experts mostly for our new Gender Affirmation Gear line to provide a full spectrum affirmative line for trans and GNC folks. Our signature toys are designed and developed by myself and our team. We usually consult with our community to see what they need and what they are asking for and usually go from there.
The sex toy industry as a whole is still fairly male-dominated. How have you as a founder experienced setbacks, and challenged the status quo with your presence?
The sex toy industry needs more queer people leading the pleasure revolution. I believer being a queer woman has allowed me to break barriers and provide a perspective of pleasure that is often overlooked. Being a queer woman in a male-dominated space is already rebellious, but I believe continuing to advocate pleasure for all bodies is what truly has allowed me to challenge the status quo.
L-BTQ consumers are a niche market that most big players in the sex industry will not focus on and we always have to go on a sub-sub menu to find products for us and sometimes they don’t really fulfill our needs.
What are the most popular products in your store right now?
Aside from our strap-ons and dildos, we are very excited about our newest addition to our website, our Gender Affirmation Gear line, which focuses on providing inclusive gear and sex toys for the members of our community experiencing gender dysphoria. Products like the Exo has really resonated with our community. But of course, we cannot forget the crowd favorites such as the RockHer Scissoring Vibrator or the UNION Double Dildo.
For people who are still unsure, or perhaps intimidated about the thought of buying a sex toy, how would you encourage them to be empowered to seek pleasure?
I’d encourage them not to be afraid of the stigma surrounding sex toys or even going into a sex toy store. Empowering yourself means first accepting that you deserve pleasure and that inherently, pleasure is a natural part of being human. I would recommend doing your research first and finding which toy suits you and/or your partner’s needs. This self-research is empowering and provides a basis for your sex toy shopping experience.
Also, we offer a 50% discount on a second toy if they made a mistake on the first toy they bought.
You can learn more about Wet For Her and their inclusive collection of sex toys by visiting the website.
